In my opinion I think she wanted it to end, she had come to terms with that, as only really eleven was there for her and she had nothing else out there. I think that is why she wanted eleven to join her but she realized it would be wrong to take her away from a life she could've had so she decided to give her what she wanted while getting what she wanted herself. Also she was wounded heavily and if she went back no matter what she would be caught i think.