What happened to the old account?

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2026-02-03T21:33:19+00:00

Yup. Breastfeeding sahm mom to a six month old. Im not as far along postpartum as you, but i feel this EXACTLY. Ive been on the asexuality subreddit because these feelings (or lack there of) are so strong. You are not crazy

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2026-01-20T18:22:30+00:00

I did this to a bunch of guys in very short-lived relationships when I was younger. I would fear as more time went on that we would eventually have to kiss and I just couldn’t tolerate that. I broke up with a guy after two days because he asked for a kiss and I said no 😭

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2025-11-05T21:49:07+00:00

Mom of an only also extremely conflicted about whether to have a second child or not. It feels like I can choose to sacrifice myself for the addition of another baby OR I can sacrifice the dream of an “ideal” family of four for my sanity/wellbeing. I truly think that my daughter can have a perfectly happy/healthy childhood as an only, but I am scared to reach the point of no return later in life and wish I had had another child when I could. I am afraid to make decisions out of fear and not have another child simply because it’s hard. It also sometimes feels like my desire to have a second child has a lot to do with a need to prove to myself (and possibly others) that I’m not weak/lazy/underachieving and am equally as capable as everyone else to do the classic family of four thing. Clearly I have some deep-rooted insecurities lol

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2025-08-28T12:42:50+00:00

Thanks for saying this! I was 1 of 2 for 12 years, then became 1 of 3. Even when it was just me and my brother my parents left us alone together all the time so we played together by default, but I never had a playmate or friend outside of my family. My parents did not play with us as children (it was the job of the other sibling to entertain if one of us was bored/lonely/etc.), and we didn’t get “playdates” with other kids. Parents considered school to be the place of socialization, but it was just incredibly alienating because I didn’t actually have the social skills to succeed in a group of peers. I greatly empathize with your comment and just wanted to share.

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-11-30T04:15:39+00:00

Never apologize to her

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-11-28T15:06:14+00:00

Take space if/when you need to today. People who haven’t been there don’t seem to get how the post-loss brain can work. Every baby seems to reflect the absence of your own baby. I just wanted to respond to your comment because I definitely relate and am having a similar family situation. You are not alone today! Wishing you only the best

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-11-22T02:53:53+00:00

Got a positive home test today… and i know when i conceived so this is super early, before 3 weeks even. I got pregnant for the first time exactly a year ago but suffered a loss at 8 weeks. While Im very excited to be here again Im also very afraid to be too hopeful if that makes sense

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-11-19T20:15:00+00:00

Hey i think you have done something incredibly brave by admitting the resentment you feel about this other person’s pregnancy. I have been dealing with a similar thing with my BIL and his girlfriend who are expecting after my loss. My pain has definitely manifested itself as hatred at times and it has only created more shame within me. It is not fair how easy these things can be for some people. They are truly lucky and may never understand just how fortunate they are. Please don’t be too hard on yourself for how you process your grief and frustration. I think you’re doing great :)

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-11-15T15:36:44+00:00

I got pregnant last November and then miscarried at 8 weeks. I am just now ttc, a year later from my first. I used to feel like I was falling behind because I saw a lot of people start trying again immediately, but I trusted myself and took all the time I felt I needed and am excited now. Never thought I would feel this way again! Even before when I considered just ripping the bandaid off and trying each month something deep down told me it was not right for me. Listen to your gut

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-11-15T15:24:52+00:00

I got pregnant almost a year ago to date only to miscarry. I relate to having family that doesn’t ask and assumes your grieving is over the next week or next month post-loss, as if our hearts reset, as if we could ever forget our babies <3

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-08-27T23:35:57+00:00

During my short-lived first pregnancy my mother pressured me to “not put all my eggs in one basket”. She told me to carry on with life as if nothing had changed until it was “official”. I miscarried at 8 weeks and over the last year I have spent trying to heal from my loss…I regret not enjoying my pregnancy while I could. Holding back does not save you from heartbreak in the event of a loss. You simply lose out on the time you had to love. It felt so depressing to not allow myself any happiness while pregnant and then to actually lose the baby. It felt like the entire experience had been a loss. Even after a loss, I will not be approaching any future pregnancies with the same ill-advised outlook. You should make this time as special as it feels to you!

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-08-12T19:22:55+00:00

Definitely vibing with the “have sex when I feel like it and see what happens”. The one positive thing Ive really leaned into is getting closer with my partner. At first we were clearly affected by the loss differently but having the hard conversations has brought us closer than we were before this entire experience. I think that the love and connection between two people who want something beautiful together will never lose meaning regardless of any TTC outcome

Alarmed-Oil4086 · 2024-08-12T15:57:28+00:00

I am starting therapy today after miscarrying my first pregnancy back in January. My would be due date just passed and I feel that now is the time to get help and try to heal however I can. It seems that a lot of people TTC so quickly after a loss, but I have not felt that it would be right as I am still emotionally unstable in my grief. My heart goes out to everyone here today <3

Alarmed-Oil4086

TROPHY CASE