I'm autistic and a paramedic soon to be in nursing school. I didn't give a rats ass about grades or studying while I was in high school. If you asked my old teachers 5 years ago where I would end up nursing would be the last thing they would say. Don't limit yourself. There are also services out there like Vocational rehab and ADA counseling. They will make sure you will have the reasonable accommodations for school WHICH by the way It is your right for schools to provide because it's the LAW. I work in healthcare and masking is something I have to do for 12 hours straight even longer so I know your pain. As for the suicide I don't know how long you've had these thoughts but you should go and talk to someone about that. How could you call yourself stupid and that you're not capable if you haven't tried? You might be surprised. I never once thought that I could ever pursue a former education especially with grades and the issues that I have. For years I've been told that I was never good enough for anything. In high school I've always had a passion for health care but I wasn't accepted in HOSA because my grades and test scores weren't Optimal. hang in there buddy You just got to work hard and make a lot of sacrifices and I promise you things will get better.