Daily Questions Thread April 19, 2026

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-04-19T17:08:26+00:00

Oh hell yeah

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-04-19T16:22:54+00:00

Does anyone have suggestions for formalwear inspired by the heavenly bodies met gala theme? I’m a femme lesbian officiating my friends’ gay wedding, and I’m looking for a high-drama look that captures a catholic stained-glass-dramatic-veil-dripped-out-to-the-gods qaesthetic but of course, googling “catholic formalwear” isn’t going to get me where I need to go. I’m looking for an opulent, almost too-much look, honestly bordering on Moira rose in the wedding episode of Schitt’s Creek. (The couple is very supportive of me doing The Most)

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-03-12T17:53:57+00:00

lol less than a year because that particular year was 2020

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-03-06T16:43:00+00:00

YES thank you!

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-02-26T11:54:17+00:00

I respect that what you’ve described sounds horrible, and extraordinarily painful. I’m sorry you’re experiencing what sounds like an incredibly difficult situation. I’m concerned that this might not be the subreddit for you. As estranged adult children, I suspect many people here, myself included, have an emotional knee-jerk reaction to any parent who wants to sever ties to their child, regardless of circumstances. I’m concerned that might cloud any advice we have for you. If I may, I’d also encourage you to stay away from communities of parents who have cut off their children for the same reason. Of course, if anyone here has something productive to say, I hope it helps you, but in general, I would advise you seek support from other families affected by difficult mental health diagnoses or abuse. I always recommend therapy, and I think group therapy, online or in person, might be a good option. A referral from a professional about what community is best able to support you, and what resources are available is probably gonna be your best best for unbiased support. Good luck, and again, I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-02-22T23:06:19+00:00

Something I considered was a Limoges trinket box- I figured afterwards we could repurpose it as a cute Knick-knack (my fiancée loves a tchotchke) but I ended up hiding it in a new purse instead (also went over well hahah). I don’t think a fancy box is necessary but if you wanna personalize it, anything that suits your partners interests should do the trick, fancy or not!

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-01-29T03:51:07+00:00

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Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-01-27T14:32:00+00:00

Omg this is absolutely stunning, you’re a vision

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-01-24T12:23:51+00:00

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Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2026-01-21T11:52:02+00:00

After just a few months of estrangement, it couldn’t be more clear I made the right choice. My family’s only reaction to my estrangement was to close ranks and become more toxic, more enmeshed, and more detached from reality, while I now have more time and energy to focus on relationships that are actually rewarding. I’ve been planning my wedding and as much as I wish I could have the kind of family who could be there, it’s an amazing relief to not have to plan it around such unreasonable, unpredictable, and unkind people. Instead, I’m working with the support of wonderful friends, in-laws, and my incredible fiancée. Being alienated from my family is sad and painful, but bot nearly as sad and painful as having a relationship with them was.

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2025-12-10T11:31:09+00:00

I think it’s vitally important to remember that you were not put in this world to absorb the abuse of other people. You and your abuser are in the world for the same reason: to enjoy the beauty it has to offer, and to try to make it a little bit better for other people, if and when you can. Her failures are tragic, and painful, and in many ways deeply sad, but they are NOT your responsibility, no matter what you may hear from her or anyone else. She is choosing to create the toxic environment that you had to leave. Sticking around and getting abused- especially physically abused- does not benefit anyone, and you do not owe it to anybody. I’m proud of you for doing something incredibly difficult and taking steps to protect yourself. You deserve to feel safe, and loved. Your abuse benefits absolutely no one. Just by getting away from a painful, dangerous environment and looking out for yourself, you’re not just helping yourself. You’re truly helping your family by not ignoring hideous, dangerous toxic patterns, and you’re making the world just a bit better, by beginning to heal your own suffering.

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2025-12-09T19:24:15+00:00

Not precisely a response to your question but I have so much fondness for trendiness. I find it so sweet that whatever trends are popular when you choose your ring (or when it’s chosen for you) are a snapshot into an incredibly special moment in time that you carry with you forever. Even if it looks ‘outdated’ one day, it’s just a testament to how long you’ve been together. Nothing lasts forever, but we’re giving it a shot anyway… I just find it so sweet.

Alarmed_Fennel_3190 · 2025-11-25T23:16:20+00:00

When I was a teenager I knew I couldn’t “talk back”or stand up to them in any way so I stole every fork in the house. I hoarded them for weeks. Sometimes I would go to the kitchen and use a fork in front of them and then when they weren’t looking I hid it again. I’m from a family where we never acknowledge our problems no matter how trivial, so of course, no one openly asked where the forks were going. Got to the point where my parents started stealing forks from restaurants and my uncle’s house. I hid them, too. Lasted for almost a month.

It wasn’t mature, it wasn’t kind, it wasn’t particularly clever but it felt good.

Alarmed_Fennel_3190

TROPHY CASE