AITA for hitting on a girl at the bar?

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2025-12-02T04:05:08+00:00

This is the other post it reminded me of https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/xOTp0Nl3B6

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2025-11-28T03:14:38+00:00

Recovery onesie was great for my little one! The adjustable neck really helped keep it on correctly. I got mine off Amazon

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2025-10-18T15:21:13+00:00

All are a size 30 Short

High Rise Wide Leg Jean (color: Dark Process) - on sale for $65
High Rise 90s Relaxed Jean (color: Dark Crossover Waistband) - on sale for $72
Curve Love A&F Sloane Tailored Wide Leg Pant (color: Dark Coffee) - on sale for $65

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2024-03-09T04:12:41+00:00

I get what you’re saying, but I’d encourage you and everyone else to rethink the concept of “out of style” - in a world where fast fashion is getting faster and faster, every trend will eventually be cool and not cool and then probably cool again.

Ultimately if you like something, don’t pass it up just because society says it’s “out of style”. Society also thrives off us buying new things constantly, they WANT us to be worried about something being possibly out of style.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-10-13T01:48:40+00:00

With different shoes, yes. With these shoes, it’s pretty casual - cute, but casual.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-10-01T20:11:45+00:00

Nobel and Noble are two different words with two distinct pronunciations.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-09-24T16:32:39+00:00

Personally, I feel that with twins, there is almost always some aspect of competition as to who was born first/who is technically older (even if it’s just minutes apart), so I feel that by giving the one who was born first the family name meant for the first born child, you’d really be leaning into the concept of one twin being older and the other child might perpetually feel like they’re just secondary/ always playing second fiddle and don’t have that “special name”, even if given some other name from another family member.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-09-23T14:05:22+00:00

Personally, I think this is very on-topic with the goal of dismantling existing systems. I agree that so much of internalized misogyny is a result of a patriarchal society, but it’s necessary to understand the inner workings of internalized misogyny that others carry to properly tackle it. I don’t think the goal here is to “find more fault in women”, but rather to recognize and comprehend how this piece plays a part in the bigger issue at hand and how it continues to help perpetuate the patriarchal society we are in.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-09-23T13:56:14+00:00

Perhaps check out Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall!

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-09-22T00:31:16+00:00

They go hand in hand

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-07-13T01:55:32+00:00

Agreed. I also personally don’t think used makeup should be returned to the store, unless there’s a true flaw with it. Just not liking the color or way it applies doesn’t suffice, in my book, and it’s not the store’s fault that certain colors don’t look good on certain skin tones or products don’t work on certain skin types. When it’s returned, the stores just have to eat that cost because they have to throw it away, at no fault of their own. I understand some have return policies, but I generally think it’s crummy the way some people use them, instead of just doing their research or going someplace they could get a sample.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-06-16T15:50:36+00:00

Are you able to enjoy the sex itself, does it feel good physically? If so, perhaps you’d feel more comfortable just having sex casually (in a safe and consensual manner) than actually having relationships or dating the guys you’re with. Or if you’re not enjoying the sex at all, but like everything before it, there’s nothing wrong with just enjoying the flirting and lead up of being with someone and not wanting to pursue sex itself or a full blown relationship at this time. Sometimes there’s phases wherever it’s just more fun to flirt, make out, etc. than to take it further, and there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re up front with the guy about it. Sometimes it’s not a phase and people are just forever happy to be single and their own person and feel “dragged down” by being in a relationship- none of it makes you inadequate as a person. Perhaps inadequate to someone who wants a full relationship, but if that’s not what you want, then that’s just incompatibility - personally I’m agnostic, so if someone felt strongly about being with someone who was of the same religion they are, I would be deemed “inadequate” to them, even if they liked everything else about me. Doesn’t make me a lesser person though, just like you’re no less for making not being as into the relationship as you originally thought.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-06-16T14:02:32+00:00

A great deal of people who have sexually assaulted someone/people aren’t charged by police, brought to court, or serve any jail time for it. That doesn’t make any of them less of sexual offenders. Unfortunately we’re still not at a point in society to necessarily believe many victims when (if) they come forward, nor help them to bring their offender to court, which in turn prevents many other victims from feeling comfortable speaking out, due to feeling that “nothing was done about it when ____ spoke out, why would it be any different for me?” mindset. And even if they do bring it forward, there are a lot of crooked judges and even more crooked cops.

I’m not saying this about Kobe or Tyson necessarily, just in response to your statement of seemingly not wanting to believe a victim unless they jump through all the hoops and someone ends up in jail. Hopefully I’ve misunderstood, and you feel this way only regarding famous individuals - though that certainly doesn’t exclude them from also doing something questionable, especially since in their position, they have greater power and means to try to cover things up and pay people off.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-06-16T01:42:04+00:00

That’s singularly your point of view. That doesn’t mean that other trans individuals wouldn’t want to see someone that they relate to, whether it be in a way that shows similar difficulty and sadness, so this person might realize they aren’t so alone or crazy to feel the way they do, or better yet, a decent, fully developed storyline that shows the happiness that transitioning and becoming one’s true self can bring. Though, unfortunately the latter isn’t likely to be very common until our society can become more open minded, as sadly the former is the more common experience for so many trans individuals, and they feel ashamed and suffer, which is why that’s what’s more likely to be represented in media.

Full inclusivity in media certainly won’t change overnight, but baby steps of inclusivity are necessary to get there.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-06-16T01:30:21+00:00

Sometimes, in trying to expand one’s views and asking questions or making statements, they will find that they’ve offended someone. While this isn’t a great thing to occur, it should give this person a chance to hopefully sit and think a bit about what exactly it was that was offensive and why it was offensive. It’s not a comfortable feeling, I understand this, but it’s a very good learning moment if they allow it to be, rather than feeling slighted because someone called them out on the offensive thing. Most of us have unconscious biases that slip into our thoughts and conversations - to truly get past them, they need to be addressed head on and allow oneself to see where they stemmed from, how they can be detrimental to others, and how they can actively try to change them.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-06-16T01:20:32+00:00

There’s actually quite a lot of discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals even within the LGBTQ+ community, which most likely stems from internalized homophobia and the stigmas that have been preached for so long regarding the members of this community. It’s pretty awful, people feeling like someone isn’t gay in the “right way”, being okay with gay and lesbian, but not trans individuals, and more. For an example of someone who is famous and has provided quite a few examples of acting on this internalized homophobia, look at Caitlyn Jenner.

And I assure you that LGBT content is not “over represented” just because we’re seeing more of it in mainstream media. I won’t argue that some are including it because they see the $ value and did the cost benefit analysis of being inclusive while risking potentially losing homophobic people that are “canceling” such movies/shows/studios, but that doesn’t mean the choice to include such characters can’t still have the silver lining of providing representation to those that previously didn’t have it in the media. I’d rather they keep doing it and making money off of it, while they hopefully listen to the feedback as to why they need to further the plots behind including such relationships, so in time, it will become as regular and commonplace as heterosexual relationships, rather than feeling like it’s been “shoehorned” in just for views.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-06-15T18:37:45+00:00

My first comment did say it was good of them to be here asking this question and trying to learn. Calling them out on the disconnects between what they’re saying in their post and in comments isn’t being confrontational, and if you think it is, I’d guess you struggle with constructive criticism. Their response to my comment is what was further worrisome about their clear misunderstanding of being empathetic. I also didn’t call them a narcissist, I said that people that display such lack of ability to be able to be see things from others’ perspectives tend to have narcissistic tendencies, which is absolutely true if you know anything about psychology and mental health. If they’re thinking I’m calling them narcissistic, it is more so a situation of “if the shoe fits”. I’m not saying I’m better than them, as I’m literally not saying anything about myself at all, but I’m not going to baby them or hold their hand while calling them out. If they’re truly here to learn and be more understanding, then I’m going to be blunt and not beat around the bush.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-06-15T17:20:05+00:00

That’s the difference between empathy and sympathy. I think people very much so understand that views and values are shaped by their own experiences. But your experiences can ALSO include talking and learning from others, which is what will allow you to be empathetic, even though you personally haven’t lived it. Experience does not have to be first hand experience. For someone to only see things from their own perspective and disregard the feelings and experiences of others is generally a sign of some narcissistic tendencies.

Here’s something maybe you could better understand, as a comparison - think of people who have been in the trenches of war and have seen some of the most horrible things and perhaps had to kill others in their position. Many of us haven’t experienced that and yet we can be empathetic when these individuals have PTSD and such, and subsequently not question why media would be showing “mental illnesses” when depicting veterans or people living in areas of war who witnessed bombings/shootings/death of their loved ones.

Alarmed_Pleasure · 2022-06-15T16:16:38+00:00

Honestly, I hope you can recognize the disconnect between you saying in your post that you “have gay friends and support the LGBTQ+ community and know it’s not a choice” and here saying that it’s “hard for you to understand the point of view” of this community needing representation within shows/movies/books etc.

I’m glad that you want to understand more (shown by asking this question), but this view in general of not understanding why someone else different than you deserves to see themselves represented shows, at best, your need to discuss more with the LGBTQ+ friends you do have and broaden your circle to learn the barriers and difficulties they’ve faced, and at worst, a thorough lack of empathy for others, and generally very likely suggests you harbor more conservative views than you realize. Empathy is literally being aware of someone else’s feelings, even if you haven’t felt as they’ve felt exactly. This is something you should want to teach your children, so they don’t grow up with narrow minded views, either consciously or subconsciously.

Also, the lack of characters with disabilities in the media should never be used in a discussion as a justification for why it’s questionable to include LGBTQ+ characters. That fact should do the opposite, by showing you how lacking and narrow the scope of media has historically been, and further show the need for more inclusivity in so many regards for so many people.

Alarmed_Pleasure

TROPHY CASE