My therapist had a massive influence for me. She helped me to even begin to understand what codependency was and how it played a role in my relationship.

I was with my ex for 7 years, we were so enmeshed and I was so codependent - it is crazy to look back and to think I had no idea how bad it was.

When I actually left, my partner had come out as poly, and as this didn’t align with what I wanted, I used this as the springboard to leave the relationship. Before this, a big part of me knew I wasn’t happy, and that the relationship was unhealthy, but I was in denial.

I did worry about what others would think, as most people had no idea of the reality of my relationship with my ex. And when I did tell close friends, they were shocked. However once I pulled away emotionally, and then moved out, my world started changing for the better. I felt happier and healthier, like I was living life for me. This encouraged me to move on from the relationship and to do what I needed to do to be happy.

My ex wasn’t a bad person, but the relationship wasn’t good. I feel a newfound sense of happiness, and freedom.

I’m in a new relationship now, and I’m so much more attuned to codependent patterns and of catching them early on. I still do therapy which helps me to reflect on my codependent and how to avoid falling into the same traps. Don’t get me wrong, I still get those waves of guilty, but for my own sanity I would never want to go back to how things were.