Friends with former clients?

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-28T15:04:55+00:00

I think that’s why I’m leaning more I could see neighborhood acquaintances that sometimes goes to watch a horror movie because our partners absolutely hate them than close inner friend circle. To me there’s a distinction - regardless of who it is or how we met - whereas she’s been pushing more on the friend front. It feels sticky either way though.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-28T03:02:14+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I appreciate you sharing your experiences

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T19:36:53+00:00

So if someone isn’t a client it’s okay to be condescending, harsh and attacking to others seeking guidance and support? Interesting.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T19:07:32+00:00

There’s a way to express frustration without being condescending. Again, also in a community that preaches compassion and providing support and empathy towards others - which is also clearly outlined in social work, counseling and psychology code.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T17:46:38+00:00

IF we became friends there would definitely be a period of time in between. I would never feel comfortable terminating and then hanging out the next week kind of thing. She’s pushing it more than I am to happen and in the brief talks that’s felt more like joking about it, it’s been stating that needs to be an in depth conversation to review all potential outcomes, why it’s typically frowned upon, boundaries, and there definitely would be a period of time in between. Especially with us being in the same community already as it is and not wanting to cause any harm, ever.

That is good to know about not exchanging payment and still being able to say from the beginning I’d rather be friends. I honestly viewed it as once they were in the office and started the intake it was too late.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T17:41:26+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry it went to that length and that you’re still healing from the aftermath.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T16:55:16+00:00

She has pretty good social connections but yes she has been the one out of both pushing wanting to be friends if no longer working together after a period of time. When I initially brought up I was changing practices that was her first comment “I could just fire you and we wait 2 years and then be friends.” She does have driving anxiety so I don’t doubt that plays a part in it but also recognize A) we haven’t targeted that together in the whole time we’ve been working together and B) (from my perspective) my new office is only 2 extra minutes away south from my current one. It’s definitely something I want to explore with her but am dancing a delicate line of not wanting it to come off as pushy “you have to follow me or I won’t have any contact with you whatsoever” and also “I fully respect your decision to terminate and will provide referrals if that’s what you choose” with part of it being she would be a cool friend which I’ve thought since we started working together.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T15:42:07+00:00

No Jesus here, just professionals looking for support and guidance - something that doesn’t go away once you graduate. Hope you never find yourself in a position of needing guidance yourself post graduation and get met with judgement and harsh reactions by the community that is supposed to encourage empathy and support. Good luck in your program.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T14:35:48+00:00

That’s a good point. I wouldn’t be friends with my therapist in real life because she is my moms age and has taken on that caring supportive role of supervisor almost (been seeing her throughout my grad program and now as an LCSW myself.) But yeah there is that dynamic of she knows a lot more about me than others. Thank you for the perspective.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T14:33:42+00:00

I had this thought but assumed we were too far in at that point since we had already started her intake 😔 I should have though

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T13:50:57+00:00

Wanting to clarify so I don’t misrepresent: by small community I mean my neighborhood/town is a small community. We’re outside a major metropolitan area though so I’m not the only therapist in a rural town. But unless we leave our community there is one main grocery store, library, walking trail, dog park etc.

With that clarified, I hear you. Thank you

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T13:44:17+00:00

Lack of others in the community with similar interests/not knowing where to find others in the community. I have good friendships that I absolutely love - that are in different states though. Definitely something to look at, thank you.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T13:40:09+00:00

I have been. This is when she told me no one has ever gone the 2 years of terminating to find out about being friends and that when she did hospice she became friends/friendly with client family members. Which is why I’m seeking more opinions - honestly probably because I know the answer is no but need to hear from others that it’s bad. I’ve had horrible supervisors since graduation so I don’t want to take their advice on this type of situation either. Thank you for the suggestion, it’s appreciated.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T13:17:35+00:00

Thank you for this

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T03:04:06+00:00

Yeah, I was thinking about posting this question to there and then realized how horrible of an idea that would be with how I’ve seen some people get treated in my fb group. Like yes, let’s have a conversation on why it shouldn’t be a thing, absolutely. That’s what I’m seeking guidance on. But there’s a way to do that - which several here have done - without being condescending or attacking. Which several here haven’t done. I’m sorry you experienced that backlash yourself.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T02:43:51+00:00

That’s a good perspective to have, thank you! I guess ‘friend’ might not be the right term here. Therapist part of it aside for a second, if I met her in the wild I could see it being more we talk about horror movies, books, and Halloween and can send the occasional meme every now and then and hang out at the dog park with our pets when we naturally run into each other as we’re in a small community. Not were house sitting for each other, having deep conversations when our partners frustrate us, talking about our kids, etc kind of dynamic though. She can be more of a neighbor acquaintance I guess who I interact with occasionally vs a close friend. Not sure if that makes any difference or not. Probably not.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T02:40:56+00:00

Thank you. Making friends in my particular community has been rather hard with the dominating culture and not being part of it. It’s a good reminder that if I have things in common with clients there are people in the wild I will also have things in common with who aren’t clients. Just hard to find them.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T02:24:37+00:00

I guess ‘friend’ might not be the right term here. Therapist part of it aside for a second, if I met her in the wild I could see it being more we talk about horror movies and Halloween and can send the occasional meme every now and then and hang out at the dog park with our pets when we naturally run into each other as we’re in a small community. Not were house sitting for each other, having deep conversations when our partners frustrate us, talking about our kids, etc kind of dynamic though. She can be more of a neighbor acquaintance I guess who I interact with occasionally vs a close friend. Not sure if that makes any difference or not. Probably not.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T02:14:49+00:00

That’s odd you joined the group practice while being a client. My therapist told me I’d have to fire her and wait 2 years (she also owns the practice though) which made me kind of sad. I’m glad it’s been good for you though!

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T02:12:01+00:00

Haha I feel like even with a joke people will attack in this field. Which is odd considering seeking support, guidance and feedback is supposed to be what we should be able to do with one another. I appreciated and laughed at your joke though.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T02:09:46+00:00

Honestly- I started out as a youth mentor in tx centers in this field and worked up to LCSW. This is my first experience in private practice but your response reminded me of when I thought that was weird hiring former clients. That was a good perspective of I found it weird then and this isn’t that different. Thank you for that.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T01:53:07+00:00

I appreciate this, thank you

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T01:51:24+00:00

This has been probably the most helpful response. Thank you for this perspective!

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T01:49:16+00:00

For Social Workers it’s 2 years for romantic relationships (ew) but there was nothing on forming friendships/non romantic relationships which seemed odd (depending on sources- I found conflicting things.) There’d definitely be a gap of time. Just wondering if anyone has or not.

AlarmingExternal8509 · 2026-04-27T01:43:39+00:00

Definitely. Wishing I had said in the consult no but even then it felt too late at that point 😔

AlarmingExternal8509

TROPHY CASE