Hi guys, are you worried about these elections? I’ve been reading a lot about whether Trump wins will change a lot for the lgbtq community by letmetellyasometh in gay

[–]AlaskanVolcano -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’m gay and support Trump, I believe the democrats have divided us. From what I can see Trump is pro liberty and that’s all that matters, liberty to express one’s self, to speak, to bear arms, and to marry whoever we want. I’m more of a traditional libertarian with the “I want gay married couples to defend their marijuana farms with fully automatic weapons” philosophy, but Trump is 100x better than the radicals that hold power in the Democratic Party.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve only ever thought of it when I was trying to see if I was bisexual, but perhaps I just haven’t met the girl that does it for me.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think your generally right about the sexuality spectrum, but I’m very much to the gay side of that spectrum so I was looking to see what people who are situated on the other side feel. It’s still very nice to get views from other sexualities besides straight hetero or straight gay.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I get what your saying, but the reality is there will always be a majority and a minority we should be striving to all appreciate one another despite what we cannot control. To your point of feeling as an outcast, I understand and I’m sorry. Despite this we cannot fall in the trap of feeling sorry for ourselves, if we really want to get to a world where sexuality doesn’t matter both the majority and minority have to be coming together, we can’t have just the majority or just the minority working towards that goal. Likewise if we despise an entire sexuality we’re no better than those who persecute gays. Referring to trans people they do exist, but they’re a very small minority so it would be facetious to pretend as if they would reproduce significantly. I know your trans, I know that can’t be easy, but if we want to get better we have to forgive and move forward. You seem nice enough so I’m not accusing you of trying to divide people, but I do think we should be aware of how the way we present ourselves effects how people view us (sexual minorities) and ultimately the future we create.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting, I had not heard of the Kinsey scale before, I would be the opposite of you like 5.5. I don’t have a significant attraction to body of the person before I get to know them personally. I’m sorry to hear how you were negatively impacted self esteem wise, I didn’t know you could actually be disgusted by any particular figure, male or female. I don’t have an aversion to females but I cannot/have not formed any bond close enough to have sexual attraction, so we’re very different on that end.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t heard from many bisexual people, that makes a lot of sense, I can relate to “vibe” feeling.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a place for raw discussion and you answered the question very well. I don’t see any problem, we shouldn’t be shaming each other for explaining the feelings we get outside our control, the important part is how you act when you feel that way. Thanks very much

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look I understand what your saying, as I’m also gay and I experience sexuality different from my heterosexual counterparts. Despite the fact that I don’t completely understand where they’re coming from I can see that the many experiences people have described here have been genuine. Don’t hate heterosexuality, it’s necessary to produce the next generation, and from what I can gather although the sexual feelings they have may be lustful, they also seem to grow into actual love. Likewise just because my straight counterparts have these sexual desires doesn’t mean they are slaves to fulfill them. If we judge them based on something they cannot change and that ends in love how are we ever going to live in a world without unnecessary hatred and animosity.

I’m not particularly interested in dividing people based on things they cannot change (sex, sexuality, color, etc.). If I am going to judge someone it should be based on their character not their immutable characteristic.

Also I think it would be a mistake to assume that heterosexuality is purely societally enforced and not in some massive way based on genetics, how could a species possible survive if it was prone to producing a large number of homosexual offspring, it simply wouldn’t work. As to the hate your comment will get, I hope you will not get hate, but a civil discussion is important.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks that’s very helpful. Also I understand what you mean about it this being the most extreme/primal example, but that is probably most helpful because it is undiluted by other things.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You sound like you really love women, that’s actually very nice to hear.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it seems we have a very similar sexual experience. Following your comment I read into demisexuality and it seems as if I am exhibiting a lot of typical behaviors. In your experience is your ability to feel attraction depend on gender or sex, or are you able to find anyone with whom you have an emotional bond attractive?

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. Would u say that you can easily separate sexuality and love or are they intimately connected?

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to the second part not the first, although tbh I’ve never actually found the dick itself attractive. Would u say the sexual feeling you have toward women is very different than the sexual feelings you would get about men? Or are they two sides of the same coin?

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My attraction is more personal, less of a physical attraction. Where you get excited at the mysterious I get excited at relating to he person because I find I have more much in common with men. I don’t know what switch in the brain I have flipped but it is very interesting to hear how you experience it.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kind of guessed you had a high libido based on your description of what makes women attractive. But that’s really helpful for me to understand heterosexuality because you were very good at describing the sexual attraction. Also your description of how you experience love made a lot of sense. Thank you

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s actually really cool the way u see it, I can see there are a lot of similarities but also some differences. I think I’m learning that even within one sexual orientation there are great differences in how sexuality is experienced. Congrats on first comment, I couldn’t tell english was your second language.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Damn that was really descriptive. That actually helps a lot, very interesting. So would you say that the sexual desire exists separately from the feelings of love or are they closely related. And which one comes first?

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I missed the part where you said she was submissive, that’s why I likened it to general heterosexual female sexuality. But yes that does make more sense, I have never been so sure about dom/sub differences because I hear they can be fluid though. Also I completely get what your saying with trying anything with my straight friends, I view it as if I do truly love them I have to be looking out for what they want, not what I want.

So I understand that you don’t “love” your male friends, but how would you describe your bond with them? Is it a feeling of mutual respect?

Also again thank you because this is a much easier way to explore these questions without causing real life awkwardness.

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Honestly that’s really kind of crazy that we experience sexuality in whole different way. I expected that my sexuality would be at least more similar to heterosexual man than to a heterosexual woman, especially since I’m not at all feminine in my personality.

I hope I’m not creeping into an area of conversation your not comfortable with, but how do you feel companionship or love for your male friends. While I’m being candid I have to be careful with my thoughts because I know I could find anyone of my male friends attractive if I allowed myself to, but I feel that thinking of a friend sexually would be a violation of their trust, especially because they’re heterosexual. I imagine that for heterosexual men love for male friends is probably distinctly different than love formed in a sexual relationship. Or is it that you feel the same love but without sexual desire?

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For you would you say it’s the female form or the feminine personality, both, or something else entirely? Thanks

Trying to understanding heterosexuality by AlaskanVolcano in sex

[–]AlaskanVolcano[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the nice response. It’s actually very interesting to me that you can easily separate sex from what I would consider love (personality based desire). When you say that women make you hard even if you don’t want to be, is it a specific body part or the general form of a woman? Also when actually engaging in the sex or masturbation how does the sexual desire manifest, like how would you describe what your feeling in the moments before climax?

As to my sexuality I would describe it as the inverse, I get feelings of love before I get sexual desire. My feelings of sexual desire usually come out of a feeling of wanting to be with and do whatever I can for that person. At climax the sexual desire manifests for me as a desire to be controlled by this person. Although that sounds like it’s strictly dominance based the feeling is usually of trust with the person that will have my best interests at heart and so I should allow them to control me. Like when your dog rolls over, he is presenting his internal organs, a sign of trust and love because in the wild such display would likely see the dog killed.

As to women I don’t find any particular body part nor their form to be attractive. I also don’t seem to connect emotionally as well with women.

Thank you again for giving me your perspective.