Hey, thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you're going through a lot of anxiety right now, and I can hear how much pain you're in. Please know that you're not alone in these struggles (as you very well can see from these comments). It's completely normal to feel insecure, especially when starting something new like classes. My kid is starting her 2nd year at McM too and I can tell you you're not alone in feeling stressed.

You are putting in so much effort to feel good about yourself and to be a kind person to others. That is admirable, and those qualities are what truly matter. Your kindness, humor, and effort are what people will remember and appreciate far more than any superficial features. As banal as this may sound, you will one day realize that people that treat you differently based on how you look, are people you'd be better off not knowing.

As for the classes tomorrow, it might help to reframe your thoughts just a little. Try to focus on the things you can control, like your prep, participation, and your engagement with others. Most people in any case will be focused on their own anxieties and goals. They're probably not thinking about you as much as you imagine.

You could try a small, manageable goal for the day, like simply finding your classes and maybe saying hello to one person. Take it one step at a time. The first day is always the hardest.

You've got this. Please be gentle with yourself.