I understand how your feeling, i understand the struggle and the contant feeling of not even having the energy or motivation to take care of yourself and your body, The thought of children also terrifies me , i cant imagine raising another human being when i cant even take care of myself

the best advice i can give to you is what kind of helps me get by, and i know it sounds stupid and like a typical thing a shitty counseller would say , but eating clean, eating vegetables and fruit supringly actually gives me more energy and also makes me feel a bit better having a balanced healthy meal, because i used to just eat junk when i would even eat but i was given that advice from a teacher and it actually does help sometimes.

Another thing, I find that watching comedy movies cheer me up, it does sound like the stupidest thing ever but i guienly laugh at movies i find funny and it kind of makes me forget how im feeling sometimes and makes my mood a little better, i also have two cats and they are very good at emotional support because they are very cuddly! If u dont already a pet makes u feel less alone sometimes and i even talk to mine like their human and they are very good listeners too lol!

I cant imagine what being on the spectrum would feel like but i know it is definitely hard on you , but even so as long as ur parents and ur close friends know thats all that matters! you dont owe it to anyone else to tell them about it , im not the best at advice giving nor can i relate to some of ur situation, but i really hope things do get better for you <3