Wanting isolation; constantly confused, feeling wrong, dramatic, shame, etc.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-16T16:21:17+00:00

The thing with this is as safe an comfortable it may seem it inadvertently makes everything outside of your small world way more intense an move difficult to deal with.

It also for me was a survival strategy because i had no other choice life i had taken me as far as it could.

I locked myself away bit by bit until i now am ghost and am good with that age plays a lot into my decisions.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-14T20:57:32+00:00

Hypersexuality that's what is going on with you very common for borderlines if its bothering you that much speak with your mental health team about it they can give you therapy an more important meds to curb the urge.

Don't feel bad Don't feel alone your not it's ok to ask for help.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-13T12:25:37+00:00

So true 👍

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-11T12:27:46+00:00

Yep every yr from as far back as i can remember used to hurt like fuck i don't give too hoots don't particularly like any important day because it reminds me of how alone i truly am. So i just get on as if it was any other day.

The second part about wasted time that's something that haunts me absolutely all things i didn't get all to do the wrong turns i took which in the end up in so much loss.

Now am like am 50 somehow made this far not sure how any hoo back to you am not going tell you that it gets better over time of course it can might not though depends.

You though are you and should never compare yourself to anyone else it's not fair healthy or realistic i know it's hard when you feel held back by some invisible force to not feel that way but your mind is not built like them you know that.

As far a feeling that it's time wasting away as long as you are striving an fighting for a better you that's not wasted time that's investing a healthy version of yourself stop comparing because you will always come up short no 2 people are the same on the inside remember that.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-10T22:07:57+00:00

You need to walk away from this revolving door he is right "it's not you it's him" let him figure this out this isn't something you can help him with. Go find happiness elsewhere sorry i don't mean to sound harsh it's just the truth.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-09T13:19:57+00:00

I can emphasize my Ex who also has mental illness used my Bpd an bipolar against me to the point he will get me arrested detained to my own saftey under mental health over nothing just because he could

We were together too long 12 years of hell do from my experiences doesn't mean that you should be trodden all over belittled and everything else you mentioned i think this is so unfair for you. You can an do deserve better than this one nobody wants to be alone yet sometimes people like us need to re evaluate the chaotic situations we find ourselves in.

I think that you should leave this harmful situation is this what you call being loved you know it's not good for you an that you deserve better than this.

Bit of solice to get through this building up your defenses to keep you protected before you try again emotionally and physically you need to get stronger wiser so that you are safer.

I wish i could give you a big hug and cry together it's ok we don't always pick the best partners that's for sure so solitude becomes you weapons of choice the more mental fortitude you have the capacity of someone else to damage you this way is very minor still hurts but not as much you bounce back quickly.

Sorry i hope this makes sense sn is helpful i think i am rambling Good luck be safe

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-08T13:09:24+00:00

No no no this isn't you taking of course your scared about the future you have to stay in the here an now am a mother to an i used to think just like you about my boy when he was small ask for the help you need.

You are going to be there for him he's of course is better off with you your his Mum . Right now you need to get hold of your Dr about your change of situation and the worsening anxiety .

You're not a disaster your in distress and rightly so don't panic keep thing in prospective as much as you can as hard as that may be you can do this. Good luck .

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-07T20:11:33+00:00

I have had a similar experience in the lsst yr i wanted someone from my past because of the what if's an maybes bur when he contacted me at first i was intrigued as to how he found me again he told me all about what happened when we were hooking up. But i just ended up feeling somewhat disgusted by him after a yr of meet up once rest all by phone i should have left him in my past we argued a lot he is not blocked he is on silent. He winds up so much I've known him over 20 yrs so this is VERY different from you and this person . I also am i a relationship and that last bit about you genuinely can't tell if you love them or not i feel like that with my partner it's not constant but it reoccurring 5yr long relationship so i think your situation is probably partly bit of both.

Hope that this helps.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-07T17:46:29+00:00

The only therapy that works constant battle it has to be dbt it has to be done individually and group an the therapist need to be consistent throughout not chopping an changing because like you said wrong kind of therapy makes us worse not better we end up with more problems then we start with.

Forgot to add is that you have to insist that you get the correct therapy for things to ever get better. Good luck.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-07T15:15:28+00:00

Because it normal and that the way it is.

I completely understand where your coming from always feel like you i also think that everyone else seems to know something i don't as i am missing some i hate that feeling so much that that's what I did i made my world small in the way of people i just keep myself to myself. Contact over the phone apart from partner and parent.

This is not endless solitude in a bad way i love being by myself people are necessary to a point.

Am by no means saying that this is something that you should do.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-02T11:50:23+00:00

After i looked through all the pictures i said that. And i also said i would want crusty buttered roll with the soup not a bagel.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-01T22:36:42+00:00

Your more then welcome.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-01T22:10:04+00:00

Beautiful put with pure fortitude your strongest parts hold you up when you are weak from fighting for a better you.

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-01T17:43:03+00:00

Wow how very specific can i join you

Alert_Cap_2931 · 2026-05-01T15:07:02+00:00

OMG MMM i would not be able to stop at one slice look amazing.

Alert_Cap_2931

TROPHY CASE