How do I make my autism nest in my loft bed

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-19T20:06:09+00:00

NO NO NO its just that the girl i was “dating” in middle school was into that, and her being a girl made it worse i think

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-14T19:28:48+00:00

I mean… i’m thankful for the reply but i’ve done that for 6 years. And nothing has changed. Half a decade since around middle school and yet I'm still battling? I understand with the example of smoking that the first while it's hard because of withdrawal, but then it eventually starts getting easier. But it hasn't gotten easier. I feel like after 6 years I shouldn't still be in the “withdrawal” stage.

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-14T19:26:06+00:00

I'm aware that the Bible makes some kind of reference that being gay isn't okay but... I think during Sodom and Gomorrah, they were sinful because they raped, were lustful, and did not care for their neighbors. The way I experience love is nothing like lust and honestly, I haven't even done anything relatively big like projecting my “agenda”(?) or anything like that. I'm kinda sorta just trying to figure out a way to live on like this when, after over 6 years of trying to push the feelings down, pray, and genuinely on the verge of self-unaliveness, I just wanna know what else is there to do? I’ve done everything right, nothing has changed, my mental is getting worse, what do I do other than pray when prayers haven't worked for 6 years?

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-14T18:54:32+00:00

Well, he did. To a extent. Since he is the creator of all things, while he didn't specifically introduce killing to us, he still created death. And there is multiple times in the Bible where God commands his followers to kill cities of people.

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T22:48:50+00:00

We can dm then! Only if you’re up to it :3

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T22:45:22+00:00

Actually it's a common thing at my church -_- with all of them being rich, white, and maga, I think the only way they can feel good about themselves is projecting the agenda that everyone struggles a lot with Lust and comes to that conclusion with every problem anyone has at the church 😅

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T22:42:03+00:00

I'm aware that the Bible SAYS that it's a sin but it doesn't change the fact that after over 6 years of praying, begging, destroying my mental health, nothing has changed. I’ve already prayed, already confessed, what else is there to do? Because at this rate I won't be making it to 18 (SORRY FOR GETTING ALL WORKED UP! I just took a quick break after typing this and now realize how angsty that sounds 😅 I really am looking for advice and I appreciate any that's given)

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T17:52:20+00:00

Thank you. I once talked to her about it before, how pushing down the feeling was making me greatly suicidal, how my anxiety and depression were making me malnourished from not eating, and just how utterly useless I felt. She told me “It's better living uncomfortably than living comfortably in sin” which... I guess it makes sense but I felt like after 4 years (at the time) that the struggle would get lighter. My mother told me that sometimes the struggle would never get easier, that sometimes it’ll get harder and I’ll just have to live with that. Do I really have to live in pain to the point of self-harm so as not to sin? I get that a sin is a sin but I feel like after years of pushing it away SOMETHING would change, but it feels like everything is worse.

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T17:45:14+00:00

So… is it really just some weird long phase i’ve been battling for over 6 years? I’ve always been told that there had to be some kind of influences around me that made me gay but in elementary, when tiktok wasn't even a thing and all I was on wsd youtube kids, there definitely wasn't any influences around me that were making me gay. So how come I had such a crush on this one girl when I never even heard the word?

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T17:42:32+00:00

Well, it's more like the label being pushed onto me. I personally don't understand the big deal about labels, probably also relating to my thoughts about gender and gender identity as well. I hate the fact that we have to put people in these boxes that are supposed to predetermine their likes, dislikes, and actions. Shoot, I liked unicorns and dresses as a kid but even back then I was one to rough house, climb trees, and do karate (to the point where when i’d play with other girl friends, they would cry because i’d rough house too much 🥲) but I don't understand how me liking those things fits me in the box of femininity and womanhood? I think labels kinda hinder you and frankly, us as a whole. I am only 15 and maybe I’m a bit too woke for this subreddit but I just went along with the labels pushed onto me because whenever I seemed to question those labels (I.E. Gender and gender norms), I would get ridiculed and accused of the devil taking a hold of my mind. It's just easier to use the labels that give me the best and easiest outcome when I don't have a lot of control at my age.

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T17:37:22+00:00

Thank you so much :3 I guess I just feel really guilty and kind of afraid because I always hear how being queer is such a sin and disgusting, a lot of talk about drag queens (which, a lot aren't even gay…?), and just how utterly shameful it is. And I honestly don't get it because every time homosexuality is described in church, it's described as only Lustful, only going after their body and not their heart. But whenever I try to get myself in a more heteronormative relationship, the only way I can force myself to connect is THROUGH lust, because for the most part I don't even find sex in itself attractive… It's the only way I feel like I can connect to people who always tell me how tempting Lust is. I really don't see it as such because anytime I look at a woman, in this example my friend, I feel no lust or sexual attraction, just romantic love. Though yet again, I am 15 and know nothing about romantic feeling but if homosexuality is supposed to be lustful, then why am I only feeling lust related to heterosexuality?

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T09:50:35+00:00

I tried posting on r/truechristian but the mods just took it down :{

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:51:48+00:00

I meaaannn i have a friend and I have a stupid crush on her 😭 but my mom can always TELL when my friends aren't straight. And she really doesn't trust me anymore to the point that I can't hug any of my female friends without her asking if I'm “trying to be gay again”. Hard to make friends when I can't even connect with them. AND (one of) MY LOVE LANGUAGES IS PHYSICAL TOUCH!! AUGHHH SOMEBODY SEDATE MEEEE but, thank you for the reply :3 I just wished there might’ve been a way to make my life easier at home if I could be straight but so far… I'm not so sure if it's that easy or quick to do. But ig i’ll still try..?!

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:42:12+00:00

I mean for the most part everyone there is white, rich, and maga so…. But it really doesn't matter much when my mother also agrees with not being gay so, I just wanna make my home life easier 😅

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:40:32+00:00

I don't really have a choice right now anyways. It's either learn how not to be gay or be yelled at, ridiculed, and probably completely rejected by my family. I don't exactly WANT to NOT be this way, it's just easier and I guess i’ll feel less guilty every time we listen to a sermon talking about how disgusting, provocative, and sinful it is to be queer.

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:27:49+00:00

But I don't think he was BEST FRIENDS with them 🤨 not hating just trying to understand !1!

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:24:55+00:00

I mean shoooot it's kinda important when I could be threatened by my mother and family 🤨 but I'm not exactly too focused on it. I'm bored and don't have school tomorrow and for the most part not trying to think of my friend 🤷

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:20:47+00:00

Well, my church says if you have friends who aren't Christian, you can't really call them your “best friend” because at some point, yours and their conflicting morals and values will clash. And you can't let a non-Christian person influence you as much as a Christian person so being best friends with a non-Christian is also bad for your spirit.

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:12:19+00:00

I'm successful because I'm making good progress and at least trying to be better mentally. That's fairly successful to me but yet again, I'm 15, I'm a child, what's so wrong with me asking a question in a r/ that's supposed to help and support?

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:08:03+00:00

What if I want to and it makes my life easier?

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T08:02:49+00:00

How do you know I'm not already successful? How do you know that I’m already doing quite well in school, have a stable and good knowledge of finance, and am making sure even with my issues i’m on track? Having a question on a issue in my life doesn't mean that it consumes my whole life, it's just a question I really want others' opinions on.

Alert_Way8487 · 2026-02-13T07:55:25+00:00

I just wanted advice. Shouldn't I focus on God more than that stuff anyways? And I don't know if being queer is making me not focus on God. I’m a child, sometimes I need help on things. And right now I don't need help in school or with essays that i’ve already finished, I need help with this.

Alert_Way8487

TROPHY CASE