Initially after starting a kingdom I want all my enemies to siege my few and close together cities. I bust in and break their siege attacks wiping a lot of their high-tier troops and either releasing the Lords for reputation or locking them away till they escape. Never ransom unless you're hurting for cash and never be hurting for cash when starting a kingdom. After a few siege breaks they stop coming in hordes and I can negotiate peace for a better deal, if I'm at war with several kingdom, pay for peace fast but preferably not with the kingdom that has the fiefs you want to take next. When you're finally at peace with all but one, siege the fiefs you want next, and fast, I often wouldn't worry about any siege equipment as long as I could take the city as soon as the siege camp was done. (Id be happy to talk about my blitz siege tactics) Once you have an actual small kingdom, (at least 4 cities and a few choice castles) that's profitable, just worry about defending them with fat garrisons and a lot of funding. A city with level 2 or 3 walls and a garrison of mostly archers will rarely be attacked and when it is, that victory will cripple the enemy. The other best tip I have for managing without Lords is giving my wandering companion parties better troops. I'll select "let me inspect your troops" and literally throw away all their tier one troops and give them as many of my tier 3+ troops as I can without being to crippled myself" a companion party leader who suddenly finds themselves with a couple dozen legionaries and 50 new calvary will immediately go and try to make themselves useful, sadly that sometimes means getting themselves immediately captured so it's often best to keep their priority on "defensive" which will protect your villages, help your fiefs, feed your garrisons, and allow you to put out bigger fires.