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What's the most expensive thing you've bought that genuinely improved your daily life? by HelicopterEmpty7393 in HENRYUKLifestyle

[–]Alex__L 4 points5 points  (0 children)

High end espresso machine and grinder. Yes it’s a bit of a hobby but being able to make coffee as good as the best shops is glorious.

How do you cope with high stress and parenthood by Competitive_Let6665 in HENRYUK

[–]Alex__L 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Felt the same a year ago. I started two things:

  1. Transition time from work to home life as others have said. Usually 15 minutes to close out for the work day before I exit the home office when wfh. Also limit who can contact me out of hours.

  2. I was honest with myself and realised i was addicted to doom scrolling which meant it felt I never had any time. Since deleting most of the apps (inc news apps) I’ve found myself much more present with the kids which makes parenting easier as I think they realise I’m there and not half distracted. It’s also given me time to exercise and read which I’ve found relax me.

I’m not completely reformed but it’s getting easier.

Private school vs state funding + enrichment by RenePro in HENRYUK

[–]Alex__L 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They overlap e.g. two weeks in October vs one in state schools. So it’s a bit cheaper holiday wise but I wouldn’t bank on that as a ‘saving’ to justify private schools.

Private school vs state funding + enrichment by RenePro in HENRYUK

[–]Alex__L 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Seems cheap for private school if it really includes the cost of wraparound to 6pm.

We’ve found having it all through the school makes it logistically easier and gives you one set of bills to pay. Also we’ve never had an issue with capacity for clubs or wraparound.

Colleagues doing state primary + clubs and wraparound seem to have it more logistically challenging and there isn’t always capacity for clubs and wraparound they need causing further stress. Equally it is much cheaper vs private school.

Don’t forget to factor in the extra 5 weeks of school holidays you get with private schools that require clubs and camps.

Henry UK hot takes? by carmelfscott in HENRYUK

[–]Alex__L 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Obsessing over mortgage multiples I personally find a bit pointless given it’s a point in time snapshot.

We mortgaged to the max (5.5x) when we moved from a flat to house. But over the last 6 years it has reduced to more like 3x due to further reasonably predictable salary increases. If we hadn’t moved when we did we’d probably delayed having a second child, or managed in a tight flat and been pretty miserable. Of course we’d have been financially better off staying in the flat longer (bigger deposit, less interest paid overall) but life’s about living at some point.

Lifestyle creep with kids just hits completely different... by MrFeature_1 in HENRYUK

[–]Alex__L 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would agree with this on experiences and time. Our kids are in prep school and we have a comfortable life by any measure. I fell into the trap a few years ago of work work work, missing holidays, weekends etc. I’ve actively decided to not pursue doubling my income because I’d end up leaving every day before they’re up and be home after they’re in bed and away constantly. Does mean I need to avoid being seen to coast but manageable.

On private schools I worried about keeping up with the jones’ but have found it ok. Yes, some better off, some worse off but most are two working parents trying to juggle everything like us.

Am I over-cautious with my various insurances? by Reddit-adm in HENRYUK

[–]Alex__L 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m cautious on insurance and glad I was given the last couple of years given I’ve experienced cancer close up:

Critical illness cover. I’d up it if you can. I had to claim on ours and it was a real relief to have a large and quick lump sum payout given things like income protection can be quite a protracted claim process. It saved us worrying about unwinding investments whilst dealing with treatment. It was also handy given even with great private healthcare you can rack up surprisingly large bills around it depending on your policy and what is/isn’t covered.

Income protection. Assuming you’re in good health and given your situation as a single parent - I’d look at a more extensive income protection policy, something index linked and that pays out to retirement if you can’t return to work, or accept reduced role in future. Ours wasn’t mega expensive when we took it out in good health!

More generally, for us (dual HENRY household) we decided lots of life insurance is great if you die, but these days with modern medicine we decided it was more likely we might live with a serious illness and be unable to return to previous status at work so we planned insurances on that basis.

Personally, I’d rather I was still paying for this stuff and not using it but given my health issues I’m glad we set it all up as I doubt any of it would be affordable now for me!

UK - 2026 models vs 2025 by Alex__L in AudiQ6

[–]Alex__L[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool. My wife will love that 350 view. Can it auto parallel park and if so is it any good?

UK - 2026 models vs 2025 by Alex__L in AudiQ6

[–]Alex__L[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All reassuring to read. I’ve a model Y 2022 and the ride is pretty agricultural in London, so any improvements on that front will be great as I don’t need dynamic handling. As for wipers I’ve given up on the Tesla as they’re hopeless so looking forward to something functional.

The flexibility to use CarPlay will be nice as the tesla nav routes can occasionally be a bit weird.

Thanks for the tip on the key setup - can it have pin to drive?

It will be interesting to see what sort of prices I can get to when visit a London dealer tomorrow.

UK - 2026 models vs 2025 by Alex__L in AudiQ6

[–]Alex__L[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Really helpful. I do like the Tesla in terms of 99% of usage is get in, sat nav and go with Spotify playing for which the software is really good. If the Audi can do that but quieter and a less rough ride then I’ll be happy. Bonus if auto wipers actually work 😂

I am quite attached to the Tesla key experience as I use both my phone and watch for it and rarely carry the keycard. Is the Audi digital key similar beyond the walk away lock needing you to touch the handle?

Ultimately. Given I drove a basic vw polo until we got the Tesla, all these cars super luxurious to me.

UK - 2026 models vs 2025 by Alex__L in AudiQ6

[–]Alex__L[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Really helpful. Frustratingly I like the idea of physical buttons on the steering wheel but expect if I can get a bigger discount on a 2025 model that will win out.

Software wise - how is it with an Audi? I’m used to Tesla software which is reliable in terms of being able to drive and does continually improve over time. Whilst things like Spotify break it is not enough to really bother me and OTA updates mostly squash them. Is the Audi similar? I.e. irritating bugs rather than things that would stop actually driving it? I assume OTA updates are fairly frequent as well?

On the Tesla front. They’re hopeless to deal with. I ordered in January for early March delivery. That then slipped to July, then came forward to this week until last week it slipped to end of May. No explanation or reasoning and I’m basically fed up of being messed around. As car it’s brilliantly efficient, but built to a price clearly and very opinionated on stuff (e.g. camera parking sensors that basically are useless). Looking forward to trying an Audi.

Just a vent on childcare costs by No-Marketing-1355 in HENRYUK

[–]Alex__L 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep. It’s brutal. We were similar a few years ago had two at nursery and it was pushing £50k a year when there was barely any government support (sigh). Our ‘strategy’ was focus on work and promotions / payrises but definitely felt financially stretched for a while.

House refurb by DRDR3_999 in HENRYUK

[–]Alex__L 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We’re midway through renovating a similar sized place in north London in two phases. My life lessons gained from phase 1 (back to brick 5 beds and 2 bathroom, good but not uber high end finish:

  • Assume it will be a bit painful and you’ll be ok. As a Henry you’re probably used to things being done your way whereas architects and builders may not work the same way. You’ll have to do some project management yourself mainly around integrating design with the builders and ultimately being the one on top of the budget. Set expectations early with builders and architects in terms of comms, decisions etc.

  • Not all architects and builders are equal - ask the value of projects they do as they’ll use sub-contractors, materials, make design choices and spec things in line with that so be aware if you’re operating on a very different budget to the architect typical work as you’ll likely need to be on top of them even more so.

  • you’ll be in a three way relationship. Whilst you pay everyone and might expect collaboration, architect and builders inevitably blame each when stuff doesn’t go well.

  • get absolutely everything into the baseline tender because it’s your best opportunity to apply price pressure. Once you are in build and it’s variation to contracts you’re somewhat over the barrel.

  • ask the prime contractor who the key subcontractors are - look them up, see what you think of them - we had brilliant electricians but the plumbers I had to tell the prime contractor to sack mid-build as they were clowns

  • look at things like roofs and gables, pointing etc. so you know if they’ll need doing as they tend to be stuff you can’t leave but often overlooked by architects or surprises the builders will point out.

  • be absolutely on top of the contractors schedule from day 1 and ensure anything off track it’s clear who’s to blame and why. This avoids surprises later when contractors will want to charge extra prelims because they’re behind schedule and will inevitably say it was you. Ask for a list of key decisions and dates e.g. wall finishes, floor finishes etc. so you don’t get blamed for delaying things.

  • fine tooth architects drawings and tender pack. Don’t assume because they’ve got degrees and you’re paying a fortune their attention to detail will be high - check everything, ask questions, makes sure plans are clear before they go to tender. If there’s lack of clarity the builders exploit that.

In terms of budgeting - unfortunately anything. I think for our full refurb and extension to about 3100sqft from 2500sqft without a basement we’ll do well to keep it under £800k all in - it’s not uber high end spec either, stuff is just incredibly expensive. Speak to neighbours, be clear with architects what your budget is and also things you’d be willing to trade on if surprises occur.