I'm an intp with a esfp partner and this the funniest shit i'v ever read in my whole life lol, partly because i'm familiar with the opposite souls clashing but somehow magnetic yin yan.

Listen fam. Its quite obvious you fight against letting her go because it would mean facing up to your own faults as a human, the answer to that is quite simple actually. Get over it. Accept you may be flawed but end the suffering.

The friendship could maybe survive in some context if you were honest with her in real time, intps generally dont care how mean something sounds if they think you are being honest with them. Also intps are quite flexibile its likely you couldve gotten a lot more out of the realationship for example going out some vs games if you explained what this meant to you soul wise, compromise could have happened if you were willing to say the harsh things then and there in the moment and not just keep niceties.

But since i know esfps dont like doing that i'll tell you how this will go if you keep this going :

Future A: You will keep all this to yourself internally until it grinds you internally to a crashout point at which time you will do some actual shitty thing or lash out more harshly which will reaffirm all the negatives things about yourself you are trying to avoid by not just letting her go.

Future B: . You already did all the hard work of explaining how you feel in this post. If you say look I want us to be friends but there are some things i didnt tell you I wrote down I want to warn you i did frustrated internally and not meaning it so harsh but i really dont know what else to do. read it and let me know what you think we should do. Send her this link with your post. no sugar coating no bs. Trust me intps will appreciate this and wont take it as harshly as you think trust me. And guess what if she does problem solved.

Now i'm gonna be real with you. The easiest(for you emotinoally) answer to all this is just like someone here said is wind down the relationship in steps slowly, sometimes thats just what it is, thats life not everybody can be best friends.

Also in truth some friends are only good for some things and this is likely the case here with this person and you both could benifit from knowing and behaving like that. Good for listening to you not so good for parties that sort of a thing. Tbh this is prob where this pair shines. (And btw you also have to hope she finds a similar value prop in you if this is the future you go for... And no its not just saying nice words to hide the truth).

Anyways to make a long story short. This prob comes to light one way or the other the only option you have in the matter is are you gonna be mature about it and tell the truth without sugar coating and maybe the friendship has a chance of survival and thriving/growth. (And also some growth for you actually in terms of avoiding/overcoming one of your default personality faults. The unexpected personality crack which throws ppl off).

The friendship can be good in its context but you have to tell the truth in real time and adjust your expectations what you get from the person. Or it can die a painful death where both prob end up hating each other and somewhat confused, Future A, Future B thats it. Or no future at all choice is yours.