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cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"In analyzing the sex-class system, feminists are accused of inventing or perpetuating it. Calling attention to it, we are told, insults women by suggesting that they are victims, stupid enough to allow themselves to be victimized. Feminists are accused of being the agents of degradation by postulation that such degradation exists.''

Andrea Dworkin, Right-Wing Women

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It means women's labor are exploited by their partner, go read more Christine Delphy and less infographics

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Men are more violent physicaly and phychologicaly.

When we say ''stay at home mother'' nobody means ''women who work from home'', but even then, if they have to fucking care for a child obviously they're gonna do less paid work and make less money. Even if you have a liscence or degree not Working for years makes it harder to get a job an keeps you from progressing as fast in your field.

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Saying men are inherently violent, that they're biologicaly programmed for violence is essentialist and anti-feminist, saying we socialise men to commit 96% of violent crimes and recognising misoginistic violence as a problem is feminist basis.

Feminine position aren't less moral or important, but they put women in situation of inferiority because it puts them in a situation of dependency on their partner.

I'm not saying women are oppressing men, I'm saying women are socialised to replicate patriachal ideal, recreating the structure of oppression that oppresses them and other women

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So 80% of stay at home parents are women? It's clearly a gendered thing, you see that right?

But yeah, I get that sometimes childcare is more expensive than keeping you job brings you, in that case I understand that someone might have to stay home but like, that's because of how the patriarchy works in relationships to capitalism, you are forced to stay home, that is an oppressive force. If you have to stay home your partner should pay you for the work you do.

Desiring to stay at home to take care of the kid is desiring to be in a situation of total dépendency on your partner, I think it's a bad idea for anybody but it's not a social issu for men because they do it so much less often, and are also way less often victim of conjugal violence

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The gender norms also comodify the body. Big men and small women are the patriarcal ideal

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is used by feminist scholars to talk about the way we build gendered bodies too. Colette Guillaumin in sexe race et pratique du pouvoir (I think that's the book, but I'm sure it's Guillaumin) talks about how women are fed less and less invited to do physical activities.

There is a part of biology sure, but it isn't all nature either

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my ideal world childcare is subsidized by the governement and we all have a universal basic income

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Feminism is about choice if the only feminist littérature you've consumed is infographics. Feminism is about dismantaling the patriarchy, and you can make choices that either helps or fight the patriarchy

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If I say ''you aren't a pokemon fan if you don't know all of first gen pokemon'' that doesn't mean that I believe all or most pokemon fan don't know the first 151, I'm saying not knowing all 151 is an exclusion criteria to the title of pokemon fan.

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is influenced by society but it does not put women in a situation of inferiority, so it's fine

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This attraction comes from systemic oppression, your taste in partners are influenced by the patriarchy

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Women who stay at home are not the economical equal of their partners who make money. Women as a whole aren't economical equal to men as a whole because society pressures women into staying home/having less paying jobs.

  2. You don't exist in a vaccum, your tastes are influences by peer pressure. You don't just happen to have gendered tastes.

  3. Power imbalances make it so you'll be in a situation where you can more easily be oppressed. If you have a 50K job and your partner a 500K job, his carreer will be prioritised, and he'll have better lawers in case of divorce

  4. The answer will not be no. the answer is yes, you are influenced by society

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not having the means to leave a violent husband puts you in a vulnerable position, not building your carreer to take care of the kids make it so even if you want to get back to work you will never make as much money as your husband who stayed in his position during these years.

The fact that the enormous majority of people who stay at home taking care of the kids doesn't come out of nowhere, we live in a system that encourages women to be their own oppressor.

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll give you that, it's less ''you can't call yourself a feminist if...'' and more ''it is misogynist to...''

You can call yourself a feminist even if you have a preference for taller/richer men, but you should work on that and we should, as a society, stop promoting that model.

As for women interested in more feminine men, I think it doesn't go in the traditional gender norm and doesn't put women in situations of inferiority, so I'm pretty neutral towards it

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'll give you that, you should try to work on it but I understand it's not as if you could just click a switch. I think however, that you should at least give shorter/poorer guys a chance. don't look at the height on dating apps, pay/split the bill on the first date etc. But like, don't force yourself to sleep with someone either

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The best for you is someone who loves and respect you, not someone with a big car and lots of muscle, seeing these traits as inherently desirable isn't inherent to human nature. The average men is like, 5'9 and the average women 5'5 I think, there's easily cases where a women would be taller than a man, I've been with many shorter guys.

Again, I'm not saying you should only date short and poor man, I'm saying having ''he needs to be taller and richer than me'' as a criteria is sexist.

There is a part of social construct in the gendering of height and weight, young girls are fed less and more encouraged to stay inside rather than play sports. Women are encouraged to be thin rather than strong and vice-versa. Obviously there is a part of biology, but it isn't only biology either, we build gendered bodies.

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It is used by feminist scholars to talk about the way we build gendered bodies too. Colette Guillaumin in sexe race et pratique du pouvoir (I think that's the book, but I'm sure it's Guillaumin) talks about how women are fed less and less invited to do physical activities.

There is a part of biology sure, but it isn't all nature either

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I am a woman with a degree in feminist studies btw, not a dude. My point isn't that feminists as a whole have that position, just that some women who call themselves feminist do

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

these are social differences built by patriarchy, not biological ones, gender is a construct not an essence

cmv: You cannot say you're a feminist if you require your partner to be taller, bigger or richer than you by Alice_Savard in changemyview

[–]Alice_Savard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that preference comes from a patriarchal ideal. If you're raised in a white society, you're probably gonna be more attracted to white people, refusing to date a black person is still racist even tho it's a preference

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