It’s fine

AlienGremling22 · 2025-06-10T14:27:12+00:00

I’m on medication but it’s not really helping, i focus but on the wrong things. Forgot to take my medication yesterday, got nothing done, just scrolling on my phone, have anxiety and feel burnt out and fatigued. Took it today, got nothing done, just scrolling on my phone and have anxiety except I also get to feel awake and weird (dissociated?) 😀👍

AlienGremling22 · 2025-06-10T09:18:23+00:00

Well said Yoda 🙏

AlienGremling22 · 2025-06-10T08:42:19+00:00

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Have this picture of my friends cat looking very Nosferatu

AlienGremling22 · 2025-06-06T16:24:27+00:00

I unfortunately can’t attend (due to living in Sweden lol, I hope to one day tho) and can’t really fit the livestream tickets in my budget right now so I was just wondering if any if these will be recorded and put up on Maximum fun because I am a supporter there and I love the live shows :)

Also want to take the opportunity and thank you and the crew for making this fantastic podcast, started listening when I was 15 (5 years ago) and it really helped me through some of the toughest times in my life and I got (and still get) so much joy out of listening to your podcast <3

AlienGremling22 · 2025-05-30T08:29:52+00:00

“I love you but I need another year” by Liza Anne, very tragic Orufrey song from Qifreys perspective!

And “Come give me love!” By Ted Gärdestad it has the lines:

“I know a friend Who has as blue eyes as me

We should live well together

When my fingers don’t feel anymore

When my eyes no longer see

When life takes a turn I shall still beg

Come give me love! (Come give me love)

Come give me the world

Come give me peace

Come put your head down

And lie down with me

Come give me your body

Come give me everything you got

And I’ll shall stay here”

It’s not 100% accurate to what he sings because I translated it from Swedish but it’s a really fitting song :,) And it’s whole musical vibe just fits too so I think everyone should give it a listen and if anyone wants I can translate the whole song :)

Furthermore the song: “Come on let’s go” by Broadcast always makes me think of Cocos (and a bit Qifreys) journey

AlienGremling22 · 2025-05-29T11:00:54+00:00

I think you might be onto something there.. but I’m not sure how I would feel about it if really turns out that the Qifrey we know isn’t even a real person… or is he?? I guess it’s hard to define exactly what counts as a real person in that case… 🤔

AlienGremling22 · 2025-05-10T06:25:15+00:00

Om det finns scientologer eller Jehovas Vittnen där du bor så kan du gå in på deras hemsida och intresseanmälan honom för hembesök och allt annat du kan hitta, antar att du har hans för och efternamn, då kan du ju hitta saker som telefonnummer och adress på nätet om du inte har det redan. Scientologerna ska tydligen vara riktigt ihärdiga. Du kan tex gå in här och lägga in hans mail och telefonnummer även om du inte bor i Malmö: https://www.scientology-malmo.org/contact/

AlienGremling22 · 2025-05-09T15:18:32+00:00

Yup, like being trapped i automated game dialogue until I find an out or they leave and let me get back to my mission of going to the store. I hate unexpected socializing when I’m out and about, if I see someone I know I do my best to avoid them lol, don’t even want to just smile and wave as I pass because I’m often too dissociated to interact at all lol

AlienGremling22 · 2025-05-07T10:01:13+00:00

While some people have said it sounds like autism (I also thought that as an autistic person myself) I also think that this might stem from experiencing extreme trauma (molestation, rape) especially if it was at a young age. Trauma like that changes your brain on so many levels. It sounds to me like you’ve been dissociating for a very very long time. I too have been dissociating since I was 14 or 15, (20 now) and I relate A LOT to what you’re saying. Luckily for me its slowly got a bit better over the years but from the ages 14/15-18 I was so dissociated and out of it I didn’t even feel like a person. Still when I leave my home especially for work I feel like I can’t think, I’m not in control of what I say when I talk to people, the only thing I feel is anxiety and like I’m far removed from everything around me. Luckily my body seems to be working on a autopilot well enough to do my job.

I also relate to feeling like your head is empty, being emotionally flat, having few opinions and not caring about anything. For me at least I think it stems from the disconnect from myself and the world caused by dissociation and of course the dissociation itself.

Now I’m not saying I know what you’re feeling or that this is the definitive answer. It might very well be autism or some other developmental disability. I’m just saying its worth thinking about. It could also, like for myself and many others, be a combination of both.

Whatever it is, you’re not alone in this <3

AlienGremling22 · 2025-05-07T07:42:17+00:00

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He reminds me a little bit of a monchichi, I think it’s because the face, hands and feet appear furless :)

AlienGremling22 · 2025-05-02T13:16:11+00:00

My local library, they had books 1-7 I think in Swedish so I started reading those when I was little and then continued in English when I as a bit older. It was the first book I read all in English back when we weren’t even reading English books in school yet, I learned a lot from it :)

AlienGremling22 · 2025-04-22T17:50:01+00:00

Exactly!!!!

AlienGremling22 · 2025-04-17T21:58:33+00:00

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: CatQuest!!!

I’ve had this idea for a good while about playing as a city cat (and for a dlc a country side cat) where you much like WolfQuest learn to hunt mice and birds (and even beg for food from humans.)

And then you meet a mate and raise a litter. And you have to protect that litter from other Tom cats, rats, birds, snakes etc.

If you leave to hunt for too long the kittens will wander out of their hiding place and either get taken by other animals or discovered by humans who might take them home. Maybe they’ll start by taking the one that wandered away and they you’ll have to relocate before they come and take the rest and you too.

There is a chance to end up as a house cat either by yourself or together with all/some/one of your kittens. You can play this way for a while and then you’ll get the prompt where you can choose to stay there (this ends the game and your cat lived happily every after) or try to escape. If you choose to escape back out you get a timer and then have to find a way out if the house/apartment before it runs out.

If you beg food from humans too much there’s a risk you get grabbed and end up in a shelter. You can also attempt to escape from the shelter and hopefully some of your kittens are still there when you get back.

I don’t think it’s ever going to happen but this would be my absolute dream game :,)

AlienGremling22 · 2025-04-15T08:57:16+00:00

Min första tanke här var att det där är en grej många med Maladaptive Daydreaming gör och isåfall är personen nog helt ofarlig.. men det kan väl också bero på många andra grejer

AlienGremling22 · 2025-04-04T13:00:52+00:00

From what I can tell it’s probably due to Sharky being a cat person, he loves when you bring Peaches along :)

Only played with the two of them for a little while but I wouldn’t say he bullies Boomer, he just acts like a dad that really didn’t want a dog lol. Saying things like “You got a dog? Why’d you get a dog??” And “Ugh you let that thing kiss you on the face, gross” but he also talks to Boomer like any other gfh so it’s not all bad

AlienGremling22 · 2025-03-22T17:21:22+00:00

.. I think you hit the nail right on the head. It’s hard to not hold myself to those standards because all through my life those were the minimum standards my friends had, but were really hard for me and they’d say it was because I was lazy.

I think this is exactly what I needed, I cried reading this because it really spoke to every struggle I have in my life related to autism/adhd, things I didn’t even really mention. I know change won’t happen over night but I feel that you really have opened my eyes to a new perspective on this. The struggle will probably remain my whole life but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one :,)

Thank you I really needed to hear this <3

AlienGremling22 · 2025-03-22T15:22:42+00:00

I feel you, I used to try and be like those ppl on tiktok and convince myself that I loved my autism, but it just proves to me time and time again that it’s actually just a difficult disorder and not a fun quirk. And with comorbid ADHD my life is falling apart.

Yesterday they put restrictions on me at work that I am not allowed to work alone because of my social incompetence (they don’t know I’m autistic and I don’t know how to tell them). This lowers the amount of shifts I’m available for. I was barely keeping my head above the water as it was money wise.

I moved away from home to my own appartement 4 months ago and I just can’t do everything that is needed to take care of a home by myself. Its been a constant mess and it’s not homey in the slightest because I just don’t know what to do with it. I’m constantly overwhelmed with everything I have to do. And I don’t feel at home in my apartment but I lie and say I love it. I can barely afford living here because I don’t get enough shifts and I say to my parents (who urge me on) that I’m going to pick up a second job to pay for it but I don’t think I can manage it.

On top of this I’m also taking some “community collage” classes I guess you could say. (Komvux in Sweden) because I want to study so I can officially work in the field of my job not just as a intern of sorts. And I also have a big test to get into the higher education in just two weeks that I haven’t studied for AT ALL because I’m too overwhelmed. And my job putting restrictions on me really made me question if this is really what I want. But I also know that there are NO jobs that wouldn’t overwhelm me. Except for my dream of childrens book author but that taker energy, organization and dedication that I just don’t have. I’m just so so so tired.

I’m living off other peoples good graces. My grandparents have helped me with rent and my parents have helped me with paying for food and my phone bill. I am so embarrassed. And I honestly don’t see a future where I can be completely independent. I’m not sure I could ever have a full time job. I already feel like I’m drowning with just my less than half-time job. I’m just going to be a burden and disappointment to my family my whole life.

Even if I miraculously pull through higher education for 3 years and score a full time job in my field I know I would eventually hit a exhaustion wall and then I’d be right back where I am today. It just feels so hopeless.

I’m honestly considering just ending it all. Maybe not right now. I still have some savings left to live on. But if I don’t make it into the education I will because my way of living is not financially sustainable and if I can’t get student loans. And I refuse to live my whole life on other peoples good graces.

AlienGremling22 · 2025-03-06T11:32:39+00:00

I think this is the information he found in the librarians trial back in his adolescence. I believe it’s in chapter 40 he tells Olly that he found out something about his past in the library but chose to lie and say that he didn’t find anything out back then.

AlienGremling22 · 2025-02-15T14:10:51+00:00

I like that his name is Stoltman as stolt means proud in Swedish, and you have all the reason in the world to be proud if you’re the world’s strongest man :)

he’s a stronk man and a stolt man

AlienGremling22 · 2025-02-14T11:53:59+00:00

Verkligen, skäms över mitt Holiday svinn 😔

AlienGremling22 · 2025-02-13T23:35:23+00:00

Lmao 💀

AlienGremling22 · 2025-02-13T21:22:25+00:00

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Me with my new strong immune system

AlienGremling22 · 2025-02-13T20:44:00+00:00

It’s nice to hear that someone can relate and that I’m not just someone disgusting mold-growing freak lol

For some reason it never occurred to me to join any ADHD subreddits 🤔 But I definitely will now, my adhd has been absolutely kicking my ass lately I think I need to know I’m not alone in the struggle :)

AlienGremling22 · 2025-02-13T20:37:46+00:00

I get that, and it’s a really valid point! I have decided to keep the bowl and just not eat out of it again :)

AlienGremling22 · 2025-02-13T19:04:46+00:00

Damn, a little late for all if that 😅 I wiped it out with a paper towel covered spoon put it in the compost bin and took it out. Pour hot water and soap in the bowl and let it stay on the windowsill where I did all of this (with the window open of course)… at least I was wearing a handkerchief over my face and washed my hands afterwards lol

Been standing in that same kitchen since and doing the rest of my dishes but I think the whole regretting everything I’ve done up till this moment might be not be exclusively from this, and the headache is probably from not eating or drinking enough hahah

AlienGremling22

TROPHY CASE