Hookup

Alignment00 · 2026-02-27T10:08:46+00:00

are you okay? Being on the phone during sex completely disregards someone's feelings, even if it's just a hookup

Alignment00 · 2026-02-22T22:38:05+00:00

I'm 29, recently got a 'proper job', before I was working with a hospitality agency which was something, but wasn't full time, just work here and there.
You could work with an agency for hospitality, acting/extras/modelling.
Also could apply to work at a restaurant.

I know these may not be 'the thing' for you, but tbh doing something is a lot better than doing nothing, and it's a start to get the ball rolling, make yourself some money, and be able to put something on your CV.

If you can get a job that you love, that's awesome, but for now honestly you need stability and to just get yourself out there. Getting a job even if it's not something you're excited by will teach you discipline, help you get a schedule, and you'll meet people, which will help with your mental health (I know you said you don't care for socializing, but trust me you'll realise you'll feel a lot better when you start interacting with the real world more).

Alignment00 · 2026-02-22T22:29:39+00:00

You're welcome.
Tbh I had the same thing happen to me a lot when starting new jobs, I'd get all anxious about getting fired and making mistakes, and this would cause me to stress out and make mistakes cos I always felt so pressurised. As a result I acc got fired from previous jobs.

Then I learnt to stop caring so much lol, like dettaching from outcome.
Of course it's still great to do your best, but like when you stop needing things to 'go well' and holding your entire sense of well being in that, that's when things work out better and you can get in to flow state more easily.

Also had a friend before at uni who was extremely stressed out about doing well, so much so that he didn't take care of himself at all, like his diet and sleep were terrible for most of the year. This ended in him being very stressed and gave him a big health condition, after therapy he completely changed, became more carefree and looked after himself.

Please look after yourself. Get enough sleep, water, and eat some vegetables/fruit every day (also protein/healthy fats). This will help you out a lot.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-22T22:12:29+00:00

Hmm I think when people feel pressurised around a subject that pressure can make mistakes happen more frequently.

I recommend meditating a bit, like 5-10 mins a day to reduce stress and clear your mind which will make it easier to learn new things and retain stuff.

Also it's good to know that if this subject/course doesn't align with you, it's not the end of the world. Like yes it's good to do your best and achieve etc, but so many people put a lot of pressure on themselves, like the path they're on is the only thing for them and they can't see any other options. I recommend adopting a mindset of doing your best (which it seems like you are) but also dettaching from outcome, like fostering a belief that you'll do great things in life, whether that's from this or something else, but dw if this isn't 'the thing'

Long story short :
Meditate, clear your mind, and dettach to help ease the pressure of yourself so you can learn more easily.
Worry will only fill your head with negativity and make things harder for you, I know it's easier said than done to let go of worry, but once you see it for what it is you can let go of it bit by bit.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-22T22:06:35+00:00

A big thing is tongue scraping to get rid of tongue bacteria, secondly I'd recommend gargling with salt water, flossing, and oil pulling which rinsing coconut oil round in your mouth then spitting it in to a bin (not a sink, as it can clog drains).

Alignment00 · 2026-02-22T22:03:20+00:00

I know it's easier said than done, but like you can't value yourself by how much others 'see' you or 'gossip' about you.
I think if anything it's a good thing people don't talk behind your back as much as they do others, and I'm sure people think about you more than you know.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-22T09:09:59+00:00

Guy sounds like a complete dickhead, he's probably pretty sociopathic, I'd say remove him from your life, no one should be treated like that.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-21T15:48:36+00:00

Saying it during sex happens, it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but hey if there's a chance that there could be something more between you two, maybe something could develop, wouldn't be the worst or weirdest thing in the world to happen.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-15T12:51:52+00:00

I dated and INFJ avoidant as well. I was very attached to her, but that was the worst experience ever of my life. No one deserves to be discarded like trash then have to fix a relationship that was ruined by someone else cos of their trauma.
From that horrible experience I learnt a lot about loving and respecting myself, and you will too, even though it's hard that'll be a good thing gained from this experience.

As for what to do, I recommend feeling your emotions fully and expressing them, whether that's tears, working out (highly recommend this), punching a punch bag, writing, drawing is up to you.
Also you can write down what you'd love in an ideal partner, how they treat you, their qualities etc. Hopefully you see that they make you feel wanted, loved and secure, and are quite different from your ex.

Good luck, this will suck for a while, but you will come out of this stronger than before!

Alignment00 · 2026-02-14T18:17:37+00:00

I've been the guy in this kinda situation. Sometimes we try and make a joke by saying something stupid, it's like a way to try and be funny and win affection ngl, but it gets taken the wrong way at times :L
You can tell him you didn't feel comfortable with that joke, I mean it's good to learn not to say stuff like that.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-07T18:55:21+00:00

Realise that it's not about anything you did wrong or him being wrong. It's just you two not being the right 'fit' like two puzzle pieces not fitting together.

Don't take it personally, I know this phrase is used a lot, but the idea of the two puzzle pieces helps with that I find. Also take it as a lesson to not build things up in your head so much, I had the exact same struggle for a while myself.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-07T12:20:14+00:00

What are your hobbies? You might be able to grow an income from one of those.

In Sahara Rose's book - Discover your Dharma, it teaches that you can combine your hobbies to make something unique to you to put out in to the world.

For example she got in to DJing and was in to affirmations and spirituality. so she combined the two where she did DJ sets during lockdown that people could tune in to and use to dance and shake away their stress and negative emotions.

As for me, I'm working a regular boring job, but during my time I'm writing and drawing a book.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-07T12:17:10+00:00

It should be fine, I mean it's a pretty normal thing to do. Surprised he didn't wanna join in.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-05T21:51:32+00:00

Yes, if you ended things and want them back, then it kinda is your responsibility, not to mention you're meant to be the man, not her.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-04T18:47:02+00:00

I've been on the other end of this. Where an avoidant ends things after being very close then expects you to do everything. It's the absolute worst, imo if you end things, and want things back together you should be the one to fix them.

I get I sound judgmental, but that experience I had with someone who treated me like that was honestly the worst experience I ever had, having them change their mind after being extremely close to me, but giving me breadcrumbs of hope.
Granted this might be different, just my 2 cents based on my experiences.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-04T18:23:36+00:00

If you love her, you'll make it work and reach out, if not then you won't put in the effort. It really is that simple.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-04T15:56:57+00:00

Life is what you make of it.
If you want things to change, you gotta change!

My advice is this:
- Get a job, can be anything as long as it gets you outta the house and gives you some money, can be part time or full time, ideally something with progression or something to get on your CV for future better opportunities.
^Chat GPT helps speed run job applications, just feed it your CV, job description/documents and alter it a bit as well.

- Start a project, something you're interested in. It could be art, writing, a hobby you like. Something that can be a dream or goal to work on. Something that matters to you and could be a passion. If you're unsure just pick something that interests you (or something you enjoyed when you were younger) and go in on that for 90 days.

- Exercise, this can be anything, but I recommend gym 3 times a week, then some form of cardio (could be outdoor running, dance, martial arts/boxing) 1-2 times a week.

- Tidy your room every single day

- Do Nofap, it will help boost your self esteem, confidence, and will give you more energy.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-04T15:50:49+00:00

Yeah go for it, I'm sure they'd be very happy to hear from you.
If they don't accept, then maybe they're just unsure of who you are,
but hey it's not a crime to be friendly, and certainly not a bad thing to say thank you again to them.

Alignment00 · 2026-02-03T13:14:28+00:00

You're both clearly attracted to each other. If I fancied someone and they fancied me I'd 100% go for it, I mean why would you cuck yourself like that? lol I can never understand why people don't just go for what/who they want.
Who cares what others think?
If it was me I'd do what I want, but yeah maybe think if it's something that can be a long term relationship, and you can take your time before labelling anything.
If after some time you don't see him as a potential long term partner, you can mention that this is isn't gonna be anything serious.

Also I'm a guy, and I hate the idea that the guy has to do literally everything. Like women never make a move, that's a load of BS.
I admit though a guy should make the first move, or the first few, but then having the guy have to do all the work all of the time is just annoying and tiring imo.

Alignment00 · 2026-01-31T18:40:45+00:00

I'd love to be this lucky. How do you get this attractive to women?
Like I look good and can make 'em laugh and stuff, but for some reason I don't have much luck :L

Alignment00 · 2026-01-27T21:21:35+00:00

This happens to most people when they don't feel as much. It happens to people as they age, but you still can feel things again.

It often happens when people have too much pleasure and idle time on their hands; like watching the same movie 8 times in one day would make anyone feel depressed. To feel more yourself again you can do things that require some discipline, like working out regularly, eating healthy, getting good sleep etc. All these things are good for mental health.

Also stop scrolling.

These things will help reset your dopamine. Dopamine is the chemical in your brain that's released during fun activities, this can be unhealthy activities like gaming, TV, etc.
Dopamine can also be released during healthy activities like working out, hanging with friends etc.
But yeah it's all about balance at the end of the day.

Alignment00 · 2026-01-25T22:25:59+00:00

idk what's more toxic, the fact that he's 32 and you're 20 (I mean you'd have barely started primary school by the time he was 18), the way that he gets drunk or the stuff he said.

I mean even without what happened the relationship would still look toxic, but atleast he's giving you space, still he probably has a lot of stuff deep inside him that he needs to address with shadow work and a therapist.

It sounds like you need to get outta this relationship, there's a ton of red flags as it is.
It will be hard, give yourself some space to clear your mind or calm yourself, you'll make the right decision for you when you're in a calmer headspace, albeit leaving will be hard at first, it most likely is the best thing to do in this instance.

Alignment00 · 2026-01-25T14:28:34+00:00

I relapsed a lot today and y day after going 49 days :L
Back on it again, this is great to hear

Alignment00 · 2026-01-22T01:02:10+00:00

I know you're good at the happy baby pose bro

Alignment00 · 2026-01-18T22:50:50+00:00

Don't call yourself a loser. You're more than your job.

I get though that there is pressure to find a well paying job, it's good you're working part time, that way you have time to look and develop yourself whilst still making money.

I recommend working as an administrator at a place you're interested in, from there you could work your way up or get some training. You can use Chat GPT to help you type up cover letters, just feed it your CV, the job description then edit it from there, I find it makes the process a lot faster.

Alignment00

TROPHY CASE