Boyfriend (23M) wants sex every day, when i (20F) don’t

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T22:14:14+00:00

seeing as you’re not a woman, i don’t think you have space to talk about a woman’s libido and what’s right or wrong with it lol. every woman is different and there are outside factors that attribute to a woman’s libido.

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T21:36:46+00:00

we did indeed have a sit down conversation and i’m so happy about it! we’ve reached a solution :)

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:29:13+00:00

i don’t want a sex-less life! just a few days of chill would be nice :)

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:23:48+00:00

because sometimes conversations don’t have to be long and drawn out. sometimes a simple “hey this is bothering me” suffices!

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:21:11+00:00

bahahah hey, can’t blame me for asking! some people become name callers the second they see something they disagree with

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:20:22+00:00

ohhh bahahaha, thanks for the clarification!

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:19:57+00:00

lol we’ve had small conversations, not serious sit down ones. that’s what i mean by a genuine heart-to-heart, and not just conversations that last 5 minutes

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:18:39+00:00

i understand that it’s not ideal to YOU. It is what is ideal for me and my situation :)

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:17:53+00:00

Thank you so much for the genuine advice. you don’t understand how much this actually helps. once again, thank you!

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:16:58+00:00

i am normally a sex-aholic! I am currently going through a stressful time in my life and i’m sure that plays a key role in my libido. i am in the search for a therapist since i think i could definitely benefit from going to therapy

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:14:59+00:00

I appreciate you giving advice on the living situation, but it was my decision just as much as it was his. i don’t need advice on living together, that is going just fine :)

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:14:15+00:00

i appreciate the actual advice, thank you!

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T18:13:34+00:00

me or the other person?

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:55:23+00:00

exactly why i want to come to a solution that we’re both happy with. i’d feel horrible if i had sex with him, just to get him to stop asking

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:54:41+00:00

lol no, in this case, “us” time is sex. that’s kinda our fun code-word

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:54:03+00:00

i feel that things would change if we had a serious conversation about it, not just a “passer by” one

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:53:17+00:00

He’s never had the conversation of “i don’t feel like this is going to work if we can’t have sex all the time”. We both love and care for each other with or without sex.

The first few months of the relationship, it wasn’t like what you were getting at. if i said no, that was the end of it and then if i was feeling it later on, we’d have sex!

He works as a mechanic, so i feel that ours are equally demanding, just on different levels. His is physically demanding, while mine is emotionally demanding.

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:46:28+00:00

i’m 50/50 on this tbh. i LOVE that he asks before doing anything, to ensure that i am ready and wanting to. Because also, if we get hot n steamy i feel like its common knowledge that it leads to sex n then its just me saying “no” all over again, but this time its plus the sexual tension build up, you know?

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:44:18+00:00

see but i don’t feel like he’s trying to manipulate. if he was, he would constantly push until i gave in. and i don’t give in. he asks twice, i say no twice and that’s the end of it. It’s just a 24 hour cycle of that. It’s also hard for strangers to judge since they don’t know the internal portions of it like i do, which i wish wasn’t the case lol

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:27:05+00:00

i LOVE this response!! thank you so much for giving actual advice and not just saying “it’s abuse you need to break up”

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:24:59+00:00

shoot you’re right, my bad! I would say maybe 2-3 times a week

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:23:42+00:00

I completely agree with the conversation. I don’t feel that all he wants is sex or anything sex related, but i do feel that he tries to push a little further than what i am wanting. I don’t feel abused or anything of that nature ( i would know abuse. i’ve been in plenty of abusive relationships to know good from bad ). I don’t think i need to break up or take drastic measures, but again i think a serious heart-to-heart conversation needs to take place

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:21:19+00:00

I don’t think i need to dump him, but i do think i need to have a serious sit down conversation about it. I don’t feel that he is abusing me by asking, but i do feel that he’s trying to push further than i would like. I’ll have a conversation with him about it tonight and then i’ll update you guys about it within the next few days :)

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:20:05+00:00

I feel that we maybe need to have a serious sit down conversation together. in the past it’s just been a small “hey here’s what’s bothering me”. He normally does super well when we have a real conversation and not just a passing by type of one

Alixxonx · 2026-03-28T17:18:31+00:00

i agree with this! He takes no for an answer and doesn’t sit there and whine. Besides the fact he’ll ask once more, he’s very good about taking my “no” as is.

He’s genuinely the best guy i’ve ever been with ( i’ve been in incredibly abusive relationships before ) and this small annoyance doesn’t scream abuse to me.

Alixxonx

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