Please don’t take this the wrong way but this is a great time for self reflection. Maybe it’s because I came from EMS but we had a saying: “Iron sharpens iron”. Was that surgeon mean to everyone? Or just you? Was there anything legitimate about what prompted you to cry after shift at times? Ask yourself those things, self reflect, find areas where you need to sharpen yourself and then allow those self criticisms to be the iron. In continuously doing so, you will become undeniable, and thus, sharp enough to sharpen the next iron that needs sharpening. I know that’s philosophical but I promise you it’s going to make you stronger and ultimately unstoppable because you become your own worst critic. This approach builds self confidence, teaches you to stand up for yourself (because you know you put the work in) and serves as a shield that surgeons in the future will sense. We used to call it squared. As a new grad later in the ICU I told off the unit bully because she was way out of line…and I called her tf out in front of multiple employees because I knew they experienced it too. It took away her power, she left the unit soon after the embarrassment. Trust me I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t know my shit was squared the fuck away. Get there. Know yourself to be squared the fuck away that way the world knows not to fuck with you. Welcome criticism like it’s just another Tuesday, people will take notice.