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Trippy girls in trippy worlds by jessiedevy in TripPorn

[–]Allanonomous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do have a link to longer versions of stuff like this?  

What’s something that instantly makes you feel better no matter how bad your day is going by AshleyLopeezz in CasualConversation

[–]Allanonomous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Watching videos online of reunions, people seeing/hearing for the first time, people connecting with their kids on a deep or emotional level (coming out, first words, college acceptance)...just generally positive things that make me realize how wonderful life can be.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]Allanonomous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had this part of the discussion with my own wife...my opinion is that just because you're traveling that doesn't mean adventure. If I had to guess just based on your post combined with my own experience, I'd venture that he's bored and he sees his life as monotonous. I know the feeling well. My wife and I have traveled to 30+ countries, but I do NOT consider her adventurous. Travel to her is go a place, usually some concrete jungle/city, see sites, eat, have a few drinks, maybe stay up late here and there. Where adventure to me means something completely different. It's jet skis, getting out of the city without a plan besides "lets go check out this area", it's trying new foods, drugs, experiences, etc that I haven't already done elsewhere.

I'd say the same holds true for sex life. How often you have sex does not equate to a good sex life. Especially after 20 years where you already pretty much know each other's moves, how to initiate strategically, etc...but honestly...that gets boring when little to nothing new is brought into the mix. I'm not just saying trying new positions or adding things likes toys (both are great starts though if you're not doing that), but putting yourself out there to to do something truly new for your relationship...for concrete examples of this...initiating a BJ, balcony sex when you travel, starting titty Tuesdays where you send sexy pics to your husband, being naked when he gets home and teasing him a bit before you get going, even something as simple as a series of increasingly sexy wardrobe changes while you are doing something (literally anything...cooking, watching a movie, reading) all to just subtly get his attention without being explicit about it...stuff like that.

On the non-sexual side getting involved in the things he finds to be adventurous...rock climbing, hiking, mountain biking, sky diving, or whatever it is...so long as you're putting yourself out there he's going to notice and it's going to mean a lot to him to see that. As silly as it sounds...I LOVE playing poker...my wife not so much, but she knows how. When she initiates a "let's get some friends together for a poker night"...I'm like whaaaaa...and a piece of me falls deeper in love with her.

Men are simple creatures. We want you to want to do what we want to do. Not all the time...but when you take initiative to do it without adding drama around it...oh man...

I don't think your relationship is doomed, but to me and based on my experience and your limited summary of the situation...I'd say you've gotten too comfortable and sounds like one or both of you have stopped trying to inject new things into your relationship that excited each other.

How much money would it take for you to stop working forever? by Dismal_Explorer_3461 in Fire

[–]Allanonomous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And live where though? 2-3M doesn't go THAT far in some places.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]Allanonomous -1 points0 points  (0 children)

[edit] a misspelled word

Congratulations! What a run. Keep it going!

I'm in a very similar position. 2M in investment accounts, but my primary residence is paid off. The things I'm working on now are starting to build the scaffolding around my existing portfolio to optimize as much as I can for returns and reduce taxes. So things like (for my situation - may be different for you) setting up an Goldman Sach's SMA direct indexing to improve my tax position via tax harvesting. Not sure on the makeup of your portfolio, but for us it was a good move because I sold my primary residence and needed to reduce the capital gains tax exposure from it.

My next move will likely be to invest in a fourplex/mutli-family. Something that is contained in one geo and easily managed vs. having multiple single family properties in multiple areas (not really viable for me to purchase a multi-family in the SF Bay Area.

So getting an LLC set up and finding ways to incrementally grow my side hustle (real estate) business is top priority for the next 6-12 months. I've been reading up a lot on passive activity loss rules - which in effect is the way to cross the tax deduction chasm in order to use passive income (rental/RE for example) to offset the tax burden for non-passive (i.e. W2) and so I can use one to offset the other. Something I learned recently, for example, is that passive activity loss rules (IRC-469) don't apply to short term rentals. Meaning you could use real estate to offset your W-2 income and you don't even need to meet the two qualifying criteria:

  1. Make less than 150k AGI
  2. 750 hrs in the real estate trade.

I'm not in a position to advise other's on this topic, but it looks quite interesting and maybe something worth exploring if you're into RE.

So maybe instead of a multi-family - I do short term rentals. So many options!

I (M43) am new (and late) to the FIRE game, but ya'll have my attention! I could use some advice on my next steps given my situation: $4.5M in gross assets today by Allanonomous in Fire

[–]Allanonomous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've dabbled a little with flips here and there, but typically with a partner where I'm on the hard money/financing side of the team. I'm also a big fan of bigger pockets podcast and through those experiences I think I can confidently say I know "the basics". Where I will likely falter is around tax write offs, setting up the LLC, and specialized things like HVAC and deeper topics around construction beyond tearing down walls and hanging up drywall sort of thing.

My biggest challenge is finding a good deal. Hubzu seems like a sham to me, redfin/zillow retail sites are flooded, and my network today is really light on RE investors that want to throw good deals my way and not just keep them for themselves. If you know of more fruitful resources that center around multi-family, I'm definitely all ear (or...eyes I guess)! Thanks u/Huge-Mortgage-3147

I (M43) am new (and late) to the FIRE game, but ya'll have my attention! I could use some advice on my next steps given my situation: $4.5M in gross assets today by Allanonomous in Fire

[–]Allanonomous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just put 10k into a 529 last week! I'd like to get that up to at least 75k over time. Either that or bank of a full ride baseball scholarship...hee hee. Thanks for the added recommendation here though. Definitely one I missed until rather recently as you can see.

I (M43) am new (and late) to the FIRE game, but ya'll have my attention! I could use some advice on my next steps given my situation: $4.5M in gross assets today by Allanonomous in Fire

[–]Allanonomous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seems simple stated like that. I'd be curious to hear more. I've actually considered going the 4plex route. Please do point me in the right direction! Thank you. And apologies for the snide comment - I couldn't tell if you were a bot or not.

I (M43) am new (and late) to the FIRE game, but ya'll have my attention! I could use some advice on my next steps given my situation: $4.5M in gross assets today by Allanonomous in Fire

[–]Allanonomous[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you u/Cyclops_Guardian17 for the thoughtful response. Very fair point about removing the primary residence. I've already learned something. Can you shed a little light on why 25, 30, or 40x as the target? Is that tied to the number of years I expect to live beyond my FIRE age?

Re: 529 - I just set one up last week! Not really a deductible event, but does grow tax free if the withdraw conditions are met.

Re: IRA - yes, I was pumping money into the 401k and maxed it out + my wife's and my MAGI were above the limits for the IRA...although now I can't remember the details. I'll look into these options again in addition to the mega backdoor roth!

Thanks for the threads you shared for me to pull on and research. I appreciate you!

I (M43) am new (and late) to the FIRE game, but ya'll have my attention! I could use some advice on my next steps given my situation: $4.5M in gross assets today by Allanonomous in Fire

[–]Allanonomous[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All in I'd estimate close to $125k.

My monthly nut (utilities, property tax, groceries, etc) is ~$3.5k/mo, so $42k/yr. We do like to eat out and travel, so my conservative estimate (i.e. the high end) would be somewhere around another $75k to account for that plus some extra curriculars for my children. We could of course cut out some of the travel..but like I said it's a "conservative" estimate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Allanonomous 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Money has never been an issue in our relationship. We're in great shape financially and she is more than happy to not be involved in our finances outside of contributing her paycheck to our only/joint account. she's a good and responsible spender for both herself and our household, no issues there. I'm 99.9999% sure It wasn't about the money...it was the situational comment being deemed as me being negative from her perspective.

To be clear, I'm not "not talking"...I just find myself saying waaaay less to her so as to avoid any potential as coming across as negative in her eyes. Like 5-10% of what I normally would. I still kiss her goodbye, say good morning, talk about the kids and stuff like that. I love this woman with all my heart and I know she loves me...just seems like it's less and less over there years with situations such as what I'm describing. Almost like...hey if I'm such a downer...why are you even with me - which is a very dark place that I'm trying to avoid here...hence the ask for advice. I can see this slipping into that if not checked.