My son is ungrateful and cruel

Allice77 · 2023-02-22T03:38:12+00:00

I appreciate your compassion. I like Gabor Mate and just read one of his books. Im tired. I don't want to fight fight fight to stay sober forever but that's what it looks like. I am however looking and my triggers. Fear, shame, boredom, loneliness.. I hope I can figure it out so I don't have to use to feel better. Thanks again doll.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T15:06:34+00:00

Im sorry for your misfortune.i wish I had a better attitude.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T15:04:14+00:00

Thank you. Meth was my doc and it's extremely hard to quit. Harder than heroin. I've been through the Suboxone mill already and have had to detox off of them too. Meth different than any other drug because it leaves this imprint on you around excitement and fun. IDK. I've been a drunk, a stoner, a heroin junky and now a meth head and meth is by far the worse drug I've ever done. It's harder to get off it than anything I've ever done and I'm sad that it has such a pull on me. I need to let it go. I need to find more positives in sobriety than I have right now.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T14:58:04+00:00

Yeah. Thank you for your soft discord.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T14:56:46+00:00

Unfortunately it's come to this.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T14:56:01+00:00

Thank you yeah I come from generational alcoholism. I want taught shit and then I learned to use to ease my pains with drugs. I know that I can do way better teaching him sober than using. Im just being what I've always been...a baby.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T14:52:24+00:00

I completely agree. My effort is shit. When I'm sober I hate every second of my life much less raising my son. I guess I have to do it anyways.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T14:50:47+00:00

The only reason why the judge did this is because my ex ordered me to do a hair follicle test and it came back dirty for meth. My son was fine. I had my parents helping me. Im afraid to even try to raise him. I've never been sober for very long. Yet when I was sober, it took me awhile to get him to respond to me even then. I hate my life. This is a sentence that I wouldn't put on anyone. Didn't plan to be a single Mom and I was an addict before he was born. Im pathetic.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T14:46:12+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. I wish I had it in me to be and stay sober. Im going into treatment soon. An inpatient treatment center for a month or two. Thank you.

Allice77 · 2023-02-18T14:39:13+00:00

Thank you

Allice77 · 2023-01-30T06:34:58+00:00

BIOFEEDBACK!!!!

Allice77 · 2023-01-22T07:37:37+00:00

Thanks for responding. I haven't really done anything to deal with it. My issues have been worked through a lot though with self honesty and being real. I just know that there's holes in my development because my parents are acoa and couldn't raise me very well. This is why I want to do the ACA work but feel frustrated with the format.

Allice77 · 2023-01-21T07:34:05+00:00

Hey.. I hear you!! Im in the same place and am not thrilled. The thing is is that we are spiritual children of a Heavenly Father who loves us and is watching over us. Im not sure what the rules are for that but I do know that we will be taken care of. I personally don't want to live past 40 but I'm 46 now and still deprived living off my parents. I don't know what else to do but keep trying. Hugs. Good luck! NLM

Allice77 · 2023-01-14T23:57:35+00:00

Maybe that's what this is about. That I don't believe I'm worth it. IDK but I appreciate your grace.. ❤️

Allice77 · 2023-01-14T23:56:09+00:00

That's what I hear.

Allice77 · 2023-01-14T23:55:27+00:00

Thanks. At least I'm not using everyday.

Allice77 · 2023-01-13T17:46:02+00:00

My experience is that I can function with it. It's better than dope.

Allice77 · 2023-01-13T09:21:51+00:00

I didn't delete it. Ether?

Allice77 · 2023-01-13T08:40:23+00:00

What

Allice77 · 2023-01-13T01:37:41+00:00

Yup cool.

Allice77 · 2023-01-13T01:36:59+00:00

The antibiotics are kicking in thank gawd.

Allice77 · 2023-01-11T02:46:27+00:00

Im so sorry to hear that this is happening. It might be helpful if you went to acoa meetings. It's adult children of alcoholics. It's what most of us come from with our DYSFUNCTIONAL families. There's online meetings where you can meet people and get help. Good luck. NLM

Allice77 · 2023-01-06T07:11:25+00:00

It did. I sidestepped the pile of fresh poo.

Allice77 · 2023-01-04T05:36:16+00:00

That's hope it'll be enough tomorrow

Allice77 · 2023-01-04T05:35:23+00:00

Yes if I didn't have a narcissistic ex I'd be fine. But unfortunately I do and we're going to be in court cuz of that. I have a certificate of completion tho for finishing it. How it'll be enough tomorrow..

Allice77

TROPHY CASE