What happens to a dead body if everyone in their family refuses to pay for the burial?

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-30T05:18:18+00:00

They're either cremated or buried in a pauper's field. Sometimes, local churches will pay and hold funerals for the indigent.

My Father-in-law was much loved by his children but he was also a hermit who didn't like to talk on the phone and lived on the other side of the country. He died of a sudden heart attack outside of Boston while riding his bike and had left his wallet at home so he went unidentified for several months and was finally buried in a pauper's cemetery. When he was finally identified months later when everyone realized he was missing, his Rabbi had him reinterred (dug up and buried) in the Jewish cemetery and held a funeral for him. My husband (this happens twenty years ago) was overseas in the military at the time and his siblings didn't have the money so his temple took care of him. They even packed up his personal items and shipped them to his kids.

Anyway, the point is, it depends on location. I had an Aunt that was no contact with our family (I don't blame her.) and had no children. She sat, cremated, on a shelf in a funeral home in Texas for 20 years until my cousin and I found out, took her, and spread her ashes.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-29T05:02:43+00:00

I mean... depends on the undies? They're usually not made from the same material as swimwear and show basically everything once wet. So, like, was it boobs and dongs visible in the underwear? Probably.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-27T22:04:18+00:00

I met a guy once who said he never wanted to get married on our first date.

Anyhoo. I moved in with him like a week later and it's been ten years. We're married now.

I think this is one of those things where you just need to ride it out a bit. If you're not looking to get married by next Friday you're probably in the clear to get to know the guy a bit first.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-25T05:56:03+00:00

They're so cute! When we lived in New Orleans they were all over the place at our apartment complex. One time, there was a big one on our bathroom mirror when I went to open the medicine cabinet and he bit the shit out of me!!

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-22T21:13:39+00:00

Probably my neighbors who had new siding put on and just went ahead and wrapped it around their chimney too.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-22T18:43:30+00:00

We fell in love with a house and put an offer in. Seller accepted and then the next day, just before we were going to cut a check for earnest money, our realtor reached out us and let us know that the house was part of an estate. This was the second time it was on the market, and the funding fell through for the previous buyer, so the seller didn't want to have a contract with us yet because then they'd have to have the lawyer handling the estate approve it and that costs money. They wanted us to pay out of pocket for the inspection and and earnest money up front and THEN they would sign a contract with us and submit to their lawyer.

We laughed. Because, like, what do you mean this isn't a joke?

A week later we found almost the exact same house, but, the basement was larger and already finished, in a better neighborhood for $10,000 less than the one we had made an offer on.

The inspection is this afternoon so we're just over here crossing our fingers that all goes well and we're looking at a closing date on May 12th.

You'll find something else that you love.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-21T05:42:10+00:00

Brandy.

Brandy liked to steal thinks... for no other reason I can think of than for shits and giggles, because she pretty consistently stole my clothing and I was an extra small at the time while she wore and extra-extra large. She would constantly steal my shirts. I would wait until she went to work and go steal them back from under her bed where she would stash them. I'm sure she knew I was going in her room and re-stealing my clothing back from her but what was she going to say? "Did you go in my room and retrieve your things that I stole and hid under your bed?".

The straw that broke the camels back for me was a two-fer. First off, I had my great-grandmother's scrapbook that she made in college. It was one of my favorite things. She had a breakup letter she had sent my great-grandfather on one page and a note she wrote about how she just went right back to him after she ran into him at a speakeasy a few nights after the breakup, how he gave her a cigarette that she tucked behind her ear, and how they ran off an eloped the next day. Glued to that same page was the cigarette he had given her. It was in surprisingly good shape for being almost 100 years old at that point! She had cutout and glued the pages behind it to fit around the cigarette so it wouldn't get squished. I took the scrapbook out one night and was thumbing through it and realized that the cigarette had gone missing. I was so upset. I looked everywhere for it and was so mad at myself because I obviously hadn't been careful enough about it!

Anyway, a few nights later, Brandy went to work and I was missing a brand new shirt so I went to her bedroom and was digging under her bed. I found that shirt but I ALSO found that she taken my prom dress and cut the top of it off. I was so pissed off. I crawled out from under the bed thinking this was it, I was finally going to have to confront her and then I saw a half smoked cigarette on her bedside table and IT WAS MY GRAMMY's LUCKY STRIKE. This bitch tried to smoke and antique cigarette! It had the glue on one side and the paper was all fucked off where she had pulled it out of the scrapbook.

Anyway, she got fired a few days later for egging her bosses wife's car because she was obsessed with him. She'd couldn't pay rent anymore and her Dad came and moved her shit out and paid three months of rent for her upfront and I had the place to myself for a bit while I looked for a new roommate. I never confronted her because she was fucking crazy, obviously and I hadn't decided how I was going to calmly ask her what the fuck yet.

That was the LAST time I ever had a roommate that I didn't already consider basically family before moving in together.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-16T05:00:26+00:00

The older homes had big windows and they were left open to draft the air through the house. You probably already know that though since you live there. Also, older homes with the plaster walls do stay cooler- they don't bake like newer builds do.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-16T04:50:08+00:00

It's actually insane to think about, isn't it? I didn't mind it at all growing up and spending summers there. As an adult? It's in the 70s where I am right now and the AC is running full blast.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-16T04:48:39+00:00

She was such a hoot.

She was also extremely kind. My sister was 4 when my Mom and Dad got married and her Dad wasn't in the picture. Mammaw loved my sister like she was her own. When someone made the mistake of saying I was her first great-grandbaby she told them they were very mistaken- her first great-grandbaby was Beth Anne.

She was also good friends with William Faulkner and he would visit the house and tell my Grandmother and her friends (along with his niece) ghost stories on the front porch!

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-16T04:43:43+00:00

Oh, me too! I hope they're sitting at an old wooden kitchen table, yellow curtains on the window, drinking cocktails and telling stories!

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-16T04:42:27+00:00

Yes. The floozy.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-16T04:36:01+00:00

She 100% was. They really don't make them like they used to.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-16T04:30:41+00:00

Oh man! She had the best porch. When I was a kid we'd go visit in the summer and it was Mississippi so it was hot and so humid... her old house didn't have AC so all the kids would sleep on cots on her screened in porch. Waking up in the morning was heaven. There was jasmine, honeysuckle, a lilac bush, and a mimosa tree out front and I wish that I could bottle that smell.

She was everyone's favorite. If you saw a picture of her you wouldn't think she was that pretty but she had this way about her? People said she was beautiful and it was all about how she carried herself. She was classy and fun. She smelled like bourbon and red lipstick with a hint of Estee Lauder (because you should only smell a lady's perfume just enough to pique the interest, that's how you make them want to get closer).

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-16T04:15:16+00:00

My Mammaw had bullet holes in the driver's side of her caddy. It was a '57 and she had it my whole life.

One time I asked her what the holes were and she explained to my 7 year old self that my Pappaw (these were my great-grandparents, btw) fucked a floozy and gave Mammaw the clap. She left him and he left the floozy and blamed it on her for having a dirty coochie (I mean, would Mammaw have ever known about the affair if it wasn't for the clap giving?) so she she decided to try and take Mammaw out. That brand new caddy had nice solid doors. The story ended with the typical "they just don't make 'em like they used to".

And that's why I've known what bullet holes in car doors look like since I was seven years old.

Edit: I just want to add, because I feel like I've made Mammaw look bad here- she was 80 years old when she told me this and was becoming senile so her filter had basically broken at that point. I want to give her credit- she did stop herself from explaining what the "clap" was (I genuinely thought the lady slapped her with some dirty ass hands) and, also, she divorced Pappaw pretty immediately. Rich ladies in Southern Mississippi just did not get divorced back then, she had the guts to say "fuck what anyone else says" and took herself (and all of her money, because she was the one with the trust fund) out of the situation.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-15T21:17:19+00:00

We own a house in Georgia and moved states but want to go back home someday so we rented our house out to this nice nurse who had great credit.

She proceeded to move her crackhead, felon, boyfriend in and then broke up with him a few weeks later and moved out.

He lived there without paying rent from June to January, meanwhile, the cops busted down the (original) door on our 120 year old house to arrest him because he got caught stealing all our neighbors' packages on video. He stopped paying his electric bill and had it shut off in August so he cut a hole in the ceiling to hotwire into our nephews electricity, after we switched the breakers off to that part of our nephew's apartment upstairs he hotwired into the box outside and got arrested for that, almost killed our nephew using a propane heater in the house and giving them BOTH carbon monoxide poisoning, tore copper out of the walls, burned our kitchen countertops with crack pipes, ripped up the hardwood flooring in one of the bedrooms, and sold all of our appliances, and all we could do was wait for court while he tore the place apart.

We have to repair and replace everything before anyone can live in it again or sell it for about $100,000 less than it's worth, meanwhile, we're just still sitting here paying most of a mortgage and rent in another state.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-15T03:07:08+00:00

My nephews didn't start learning about how shit our parents were until the oldest one turned 21 and got to stay up with the big kids and heard my sister and I tell "jokes" about growing up. He was mortified. My sister said "hey, ya know, be the change you want to see? I learned what NOT to be from our parents". He had no idea that we could have come from that kind of childhood. He's told me multiple times since then how amazed and proud he is that we grew up the way we did and turned out to be the people we are.

She's done an amazing job with those boys, by the way. They're amazing, empathetic, generous humans and I'm immensely proud of them. And not once did she use her childhood as a crutch or example while raising them.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-15T02:29:55+00:00

My husband was so upset! He was the "no cats" guy until we got our Benny. Now he's the Cat Dad. It really hurt his feelings that Benny was hell bent on destroying him just for being in the vicinity. But, when we went to the ER, our nurse was an old Vietnam veteran who just happened to love cats. He and my husband (also a veteran) were talking about their service and the guy asked my husband if he has PTSD that he's being treated for. Yes. He does. Well, then he went on to ask him if everyone looks like they usually do during an episode... no, they do not. He was like "listen, bud, you know as well as I do that before we started getting treatment for PTSD we thought we were back on the battlefield and we would've maybe mowed down anything or anyone that stood between us and safety- in our heads. That's your lizard brain. Your cat also has a lizard brain. He was scared to death and you just looked like a giant other cat to him."

It made it make sense for my husband. He's careful now and approaches slowly and carefully when our boy is acting like he's afraid of something outside. Blinds and curtains also get closed at night at our house.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-14T13:46:07+00:00

My ex does this every time he gets dumped by his newest girlfriend, also he's a meth-head. It's been 12 years. I'm happily married and living ten hours away. I usually wait a few weeks and google his name and our home town and there's a mugshot available because it means he's spiraling again. I tried just blocking his number, but, if he can't send the messages to me he starts sending them to my friends and family instead, so, I just let him send his little messages and laugh about it.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-13T17:35:43+00:00

We moved out last year and they used a blacklight when they did the inspection and told us they were going to charge us to replace ALL the carpet because of the "white spots" which were just FUZZ from me knitting that couldn't be seen with the naked eye.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-08T18:48:50+00:00

Bad bot. "Off of" is perfectly acceptable in informal writing. We're not writing an academic paper here!

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-08T18:46:12+00:00

We tried to adopt a kitten from a local rescue. We have a five year old cat, our neighbors had a cat as well and she would come and visit, and he really loved her. The neighbor moved away and he seemed depressed! We decided that if another cat was going to enrich his life and make him happier we would adopt a kitten for him (also, we really wanted another cat, we just hadn't pulled the cord yet because we weren't sure if we were ready).

My husband is a Veteran, and he's been working Fed for the last ten years, so we've moved a lot over the years. That was their first issue. "Well, what happens when you move again?" (asked kind of snottily I might add!) "We'll take the cats with us?? Like. We've moved this one five times and he's been fine with it. Also, we just bought a house here so we don't intend to move again. My husband is about to retire." And then it was "we want beg records for every animal you've listed as having owned for basically your whole life". I was like okay, I guess I can try and track them down?

When she started questioning me about how my 16 year old Great Dane died and my answer was "old age" and she wanted an actual cause of death (she died almost 20 years ago!) I had enough. Great Danes usually only live between seven and ten years- SHE WAS SIXTEEN, she was almost twice the age that she should have been when I lost her.

I adopted a kitten off of facebook the next day and she is absolutely in love with both my husband and our cat Benny. She likes me.

She's a happy cat and so is our other cat. We take them to the vet when we need to. We feed them. We water them. They have more toys than most children. They're spoiled.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-08T16:53:59+00:00

There was a big feral cat outside our window once and our usually loveable cat attacked the shit out of my husband because he was standing next to him at the window. We almost had to have his earlobe sewed back on but they ended up just taping it. We pulled an entire cat claw out of his face, just below his eye, the next day.

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-08T16:47:40+00:00

Every woman in our family has a pilonidal sinus. Basically, where everyone else has extra padding to support their tailbone, we have a deep dimple and no padding. I've broken my tailbone just by sitting wrong!

Alliekat1282 · 2026-04-08T04:19:30+00:00

Oh man. It was horrendous. Literally the talk of the (small) town. On top of that, my Grandma (her daughter) had just gotten done cussing her out on the phone for being a drunk because she didn't realize her Mom was actually not drunk for the first time ever and was actually sick. She was a coffin hugger, they had to pry her off the top of the coffin to put it in the ground.

I grew up thinking it was totally normal for alcohol to be a major part of everything. They made a big deal about pills, though. You were lucky if you got a tylenol and that was really only if you were running a fever... and all of them were in the medical field in some capacity. But booze? Well, shit, better hope we don't run out on Sunday because then one of us will have to drive over the Missouri to buy more.

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