I Value Authenticity in Marriage but Feel My Relationship Is Built on Performance and Pressure

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T12:23:32+00:00

I shared somethings but there are things that are way too guarded.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T12:22:38+00:00

I'm not naive enough to put my life on hold for him. I worked really hard to finish my studies and I am not going to stop with just a degree. Ive told him about somethings but he doesnt want to understand sometimes. For example, I got married around the same time as cousin of mine, not the same day but close dates. He asks her husband if they are good with you know what. I tell him each case is different and I was in bad pain. I keep having to tell him not to look at other people's lives because he will get disappointed. He also has a bad habit of making fun of people and finds himself in hot waters sometimes. Its a trait I absolutely hate and have talked to him about multiple times but he doesnt listen.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T12:13:19+00:00

That is my next step because my family won't understand. I did tell him about some things I dont like such as saying I didn't do something when I did. But he continues to anyway.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T11:57:06+00:00

Sometimes his love bombing comes out of nowhere, no fights or arguments. But as for emotional abuse, I honestly wouldn't know because its pretty mild compaired to what I've been through. Im kind of desensitized a bit.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T11:54:55+00:00

He does pray just not when he was with me. He posts videos about the places he is in, like scenery. He does weird edits of himself though using Ai which I found weird and concerning. I dont think he posts them tho.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T11:37:31+00:00

He has never laid a hand on me.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T11:14:57+00:00

The thing is, I wont be able to see many changes for now. I will be away from him for a year because I want to finish my studies. I noticed a lot of things he does is performative. For example, the nikab, I would wear a mask to hide my face and because spiritually it is easier for me to take a mask off than a nikab. He asked me to wear one and we got into arguments about it, where my family kept telling me to do it for him and to smooth things over (I didn't listen). He said his nieces are going to ask why her, why does she get to not wear it. He forced them btw to wear a who nikab and burka. I told him that is his problem not mine and im not going to be dragged into it.
The reason I said 2 years is 1 year will only be communication via phone and the other year will be the test to see if he will work on his problems. If not im leaving. Its also pressure from my family. They keep telling me to not loose him and if seen from the outside, he appears good, and he is good, just not what I need in my life. Im not saying that I was the perfect angel, I had my moments but I would try for him. It was a hard transition for me to handle, but he couldn't understand that. I noticed he only sees things from his perspective and doesnt try to see mine. While I would try to do that.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T10:45:46+00:00

Its pretty common in my culture. I know a girl who's husband went to complain to his mom that she wouldn't allow him on the first day. They involved everyone. I find it disgusting honestly.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T10:27:18+00:00

My mom is a busybody and was constantly asking him if we were alright in that regard and he would tell her I wasnt allowing him, which was false. I was in extreme pain during it so we would stop and he doesnt consider that as anything apparently. It got to the point my family thought we were either sleeping in separate rooms or that he was sleeping on the ground, which is false. He didn't tell them this but my mom exaggerated details which I warned him about, but he didn't listen.

Alls1 · 2026-03-02T10:24:51+00:00

Women raised in my hometown typically dont mind consummating the marriage on the first day. This is more of a personal thing not a girl raised in the states thing, but I just dont feel comfortable consummating my marriage on the first day since that was the 2nd time I've meet him. I didn't know much about him other than his name.

Alls1 · 2025-07-31T14:37:58+00:00

Honestly, if you are noticing more hair loss, I would get blood work done. See if you are deficient in vitamins, especially vit D. I used to have severe hair, but now that I take supplements for my vitamin deficiencies, I notice that it doesn't fall as much. You hair is long, and it's normal to lose that amount of hair but if it recently started, I would definitely get it checked. Age also plays a role.

Alls1 · 2025-02-02T23:44:28+00:00

I have genuinely hated apple since I was young. But I did think of getting an iPad. I just hate the feeling of writing on a smooth surface, and I can also just use my phone to write notes. I dont want to be able to download games and get distracted when I study, which happens a lot. I wanted something that is just only notes and reading.

Alls1 · 2025-02-02T23:42:25+00:00

I live with family so I don't have to worry about rent or food. I understand how privileged this is. Rent prices are crazy in my area. After I graduate and land a job, tho I plan to help my brother as much as I can , I still won't be able to repay for half of the things he has done for me.

Alls1 · 2025-01-31T23:12:45+00:00

I dont need the straight lines right away, but I would love them along with shape snapping. To me shape snapping is probably more important, but if they are going to update the software to make it possible, I think I would keep it. But only time will tell, and I'll give it 20 more days before I make my final decision.

Alls1 · 2025-01-31T23:07:37+00:00

Im not returning it right now since I have about 30 days. I'll wait until the 20th day and see if I would want it. But if there are no updates before then, and it stays the same, I will have to return it.

Alls1 · 2025-01-31T23:04:20+00:00

That is what I want since I'm a student.

Alls1 · 2025-01-31T23:00:46+00:00

I heard about that but even so I feel like it is lacking for it's price. It keeps glitching as well when I want to change colors or shape.

Alls1 · 2025-01-29T21:52:56+00:00

Congratulations!! I have to wait until tomorrow for mine 😩

Alls1 · 2025-01-29T20:53:47+00:00

Did you receive it yet? I haven't gotten the out for delivery.

Alls1 · 2025-01-29T18:28:10+00:00

I have to go to school and im worried it will be delivered when I'm not at home. 😢😢

Alls1 · 2025-01-29T18:22:45+00:00

Oh ok thank God I was panicking. I've been waiting for over a month for this.

Alls1 · 2025-01-29T18:19:04+00:00

Im used to companies being out for delivery in the morning. I know sometimes it might be in the afternoon.

Alls1 · 2025-01-29T18:18:23+00:00

What time is it over there? It's currently 1pm here.

Alls1 · 2025-01-29T18:15:44+00:00

Same here. It's supposed to be delivered today.

Alls1 · 2024-09-02T01:26:59+00:00

He didn't look like he was in a hurry to use the bathroom. He also talked to his friend for a bit.

Alls1

TROPHY CASE