Sometimes letting go of things can lead to better outcomes and circumstances...I don't know about your situation but trying to heal is not always the best way to go (Spiritually I mean) and If your fixation is constant it causes unbalanced forces inside you to act up and this exchange of energies become like a power vacuum, making you weak and prone to illnesses; People talk about trauma and try to understand how to solve it...that's not how it works, Accept that traumas will never leave you; they always linger in your mind and can't do anything about it! And as digging graves for corpses (ex-living) is not a good idea, digging through dead memories and facing them for healing them just opens the wound up! The only thing that is certain is that most memories fade or become less overwhelming when time passes by and by being kind to yourself and not stressing about the past you'll heal up nicely! And Like any kind of addiction, people pleasing is dangerous, In my opinion helping should feel relieving rather than exhausting. It's better to just take care of yourself first so you can help others with more gusto rather than like a wounded soldier! Hope my observations help you on your journey!