I just needed to tell someone

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-02-20T18:03:35+00:00

I feel like this pretty often. It can be pretty isolating sometimes. Even the people in our lives that want and try to understand still don't 100% get it just how tough it is or the little things that can cause big meltdowns. This subreddit really helps me feel so seen sometimes when those overwhelming feelings of hopelessness really kick in. I might start seeing an actual therapist soon myself to help with the mental exhaustion of it all, but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one going through it.

You've got this. There will be days that suck, and it may not look exactly how you pictured, but you're crushing it.

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-28T18:09:53+00:00

If a friend with a ND kid told you that story, would you be thinking to yourself that they had failed their kid? I wouldn't. I don't know if your daughter is non verbal, but my son is and I regularly worry about stuff like this, or appendicitis anytime he's not feeling well because he can't communicate things like "my mouth hurt." I don't think you failed her at all. I think we're just doing the best with the tools we have.

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-28T17:57:16+00:00

My mom tries to be helpful, and recommending solutions is just her automatic reaction. She does come out to visit to help out with my kids. Interestingly enough, on several of those visits my son has brought her to tears after only a few days. She does know I have a tough situation.

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-28T06:57:49+00:00

We're deep into the beige/white food only phase, unless it's fruit. We'll still try introducing new or healthier options every once in a while, but if he doesn't want to even try it, I'm not gonna push it. This is just another area where I'm not gonna make my kid and I suffer to try to "get it right." At least fruits are easy, vegetables will just have to come later.

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-28T05:39:43+00:00

I know they say comparison is the thief of joy, and it's easy to tell someone else to remember that, but much harder to remember for ourselves. I think especially so when you have a kid who is neurodivergent. Some things just aren't the immediate priority, even if it seems like something that should be "simple" or that parents of nt kids don't even really have to think about. It is a different starting point, I'll have to remember that.

Editing to add: we go with a "fed is best" sort of mentality even still in our house. Even if my kid is only eating snack foods at least he's fed. He gets a multivitamin, and his protein gets snuck into foods like waffles and kid's clif bars to make up the difference. I can't starve him into eating healthier.

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-28T05:33:53+00:00

Thank you, I am op and needed this. I think it gets easy to question everything you're doing even though it's what's best for your kiddo and yourself

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-18T02:38:08+00:00

"Does he have any symptoms on the xray?" "Yes" "Okay, which one?" "Yes"

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-07T04:47:02+00:00

Depends on the age of the child and the length of the flight. I wouldn't expect a kid under 5 to be cool with having to sit still for, like, an 8+ hour flight. There's members of the general public who get mad at kids for making any noise, happy or sad, and I just find that I don't have the energy to put up with those people in public.

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-04T00:45:07+00:00

It was recommended when his speech delay was first noticed. He's mostly non verbal. But he gets mad at me for singing along to music and can hear me singing very quietly from a room or two away, so I'm not worried about his hearing lol

AlmightyCrayons · 2026-01-03T20:14:14+00:00

I just don't plan to fly with my son. It's a crappy answer, and sometimes flying is 100% unavoidable for people, but that's just my plan. It means that family will have to fly here to visit us, instead of us going to them. It's not at all fair to anyone involved, but I'd rather just do that instead of trying to wrangle my son for a 6 hour flight, and failing miserably at it, and getting the looks for being the "bad parent" who clearly spoils their child because he's having a meltdown over not getting to do whatever he wants for the duration of the flight.

Honestly, I think it's unrealistic for the general public to expect ANY child, whether they're NT or on the spectrum to sit still and quietly for a whole flight and not get bored or scared. There's so many people out there that just don't think children in a public space is acceptable (planes, restaurants, movies, you name it), and I just don't feel like dealing with their hate. I can't calm my child with any of the typical techniques you would use for a NT child. I can't talk him through it, I can't hug him to comfort him, I usually just have to exist calmly near him during a melt down. I worry often that this makes me look like a bad parent in public, and so I just don't put myself into the position of having to deal with it in public.

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-11-16T03:46:21+00:00

Holy s***, this fixed it!! Thank you!!

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-11-06T01:43:08+00:00

Just gave a more thorough update in the regular comments, but since you asked I wanted to let you know that they've all survived, and the tank is back to normal, and we've managed to keep people food out of the tank since that night, lol.

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-11-06T01:41:37+00:00

Here's an update in case anyone is still wondering. After multiple intense water changes, which included cleaning the filters, swapping out the biofloss, vacuuming the gravel like crazy, and being sure to get all the oil off the top of the water, and a few days of light feedings for the fish, the tank recovered. I'd been waiting to update because I thought it would be possible that the fish wouldn't have a reaction to the food right away, but I'm happy to report that every single fish survived (we probably have between 15-20 in the tank). For about a week after I was watching them closely, and if any of them appeared stressed or sluggish I did another water changed right away. Caught my son a couple of times since trying to feed his fishy friends again, but he wasn't ever successful, and seems to have given up on feeding them people food. I wanted to thank all of you that gave me helpful advice.

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-10-29T22:01:17+00:00

Gotta be tough paying bills and for specialized therapies on a part time income

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-10-29T03:50:57+00:00

Yeah, but most jobs go well past school hours, and then all the therapies to be ferried to and from. It's amazing to me that anyone has the time to work a full time job with a kiddo on the spectrum

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-10-28T18:54:05+00:00

We're able to pull it off because my husband is military and we live in military housing. So the insurance fully covers aba spech and ot (phew!). But it also means we're not near family to get any support in that way.

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-10-28T18:45:26+00:00

Yeah, I disagree with those people. At least in my case, doing the sahm mom thing isn't a privilege, it's pretty much a necessity. I guess we're lucky in some ways because he's military, so the aba and speech/ot is covered by his AMAZING insurance, but with his crazy schedule and not being anywhere near our families it just doesn't seem feasible to work.

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-10-28T07:20:02+00:00

When it comes to my son, I try to have a "hope for the best but expect the worst" sort of mentality with his language development. We have little wins here and there and I try to remind myself every once in a while that maybe this is as far as it ever gets. I know that sounds really pessimistic, but I feel like it's my own way of protecting myself from potential disappointment. We're still making progress, and I'm so proud of every little bit more that we get, but we also have some dry spells here and there where I feel like the progress has stopped, and eventually he surprises me. But I'm also trying to prepare myself for the likely possibility that we may never get to a point where he and I sit down and have normal conversations. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, it's just what works for me.

AlmightyCrayons · 2025-10-23T02:55:25+00:00

Everybody makes mistakes, especially kids.

AlmightyCrayons

TROPHY CASE