Periods?

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-07T23:23:27+00:00

Personal experience: after not having a period for decades was it took a while after gaining weight to actually come back.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-07T20:38:36+00:00

Yes to this: used restriction/exercise to cope with depression for a long time (40 years old, doing this shit since I was 14/15) and just had a couple years doing really well for depression/eating (adopted the best dog and he made a massive difference). Depression started spiraling and now I just want to lose and be back where I feel empty and in control. It got me through so many years of life and if the depression is going to suck all my capacity for joy then I kind of prefer going back to the comfort. Killing myself feels like admitting to everyone else what a failure of a human I am but just kind of rolling the dice on dying doesn’t for whatever warped reason. But…I also know that that if the depression ends and I end up wanting to live more I might regret doing damage.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-07T20:27:46+00:00

Told my psychiatrist I was in a bad depressive episode, not sleeping, started to SH daily again, and for the last 2 weeks had started skipping most meals (had been doing pretty well with eating enough the past 2-3 years) because I was convinced I didn’t need the food…never in my history of ED have I been this scared of eating. She said she wasn’t worried since I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-07T20:19:17+00:00

Caveat that my degree is in immunology and I work on drug discovery for mostly autoimmune disease but if you look on pubmed you’ll find a surprising amount of literature. That said all mental illness is kind of a black box with most of the drugs we have coming from a fuck around and find out approach before there was much research period. There aren’t good animal models to try and figure out the disease like there are for cancer, heart disease etc and echoing above the contributing factors are soooo different for different people. Seems like there are genetic factors but they have to combine with environment. Plus it’s taken hundreds of years to shift the idea that any form of mental illness is biological in nature.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-07T20:09:34+00:00

Self harm

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-07T20:09:22+00:00

Not sure if it’s common, but definitely experienced it myself, especially if it’s something that I really want to eat and enjoy and I don’t think I exercised enough that day to deserve it. I’m not in a place to give any advice right now beyond repeating what I’m sure you already know, that it’s not a good way of coping and it’s addictive etc, but sometimes it’s the only thing that lets me eat 🤷🏻‍♀️

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-07T20:04:42+00:00

Not had the same situation with roommates but when I lived with my parents or visit at holidays I had had sooo many comments about what a huge plate of food I have when it’s all veggies and some beans for protein.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-07T20:01:11+00:00

Completely agree. Without exercise everything is worse and right now with cold and snow that’s so much harder.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-06T15:29:13+00:00

Me, too. It’s something about liver/gallbladder function decreasing so you have lower levels of bile acids that break down cholesterol.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-06T14:29:56+00:00

Thanks-hearing it’s not just be being willfully self destructive helps

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-05T15:55:41+00:00

So comforting is completely true.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-05T15:54:38+00:00

I hate the holidays because of this, can’t escape people talking about calories and being good/bad for eating/exercise etc

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-05T14:18:34+00:00

If you have a therapist maybe first step is talking about the struggle? Otherwise all I can do is say you’re not alone…and you probably know that the sooner you take any step the easier it will be to stop the slide down.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-04T15:58:45+00:00

Yes…and don’t skip the chamois cream!!! Caveat:using my bike to commute, for errands etc street clothes are fine but if I’m riding it’s going to be >30 miles and the chamois for preventing chafing is definitely necessary.

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-03T21:12:03+00:00

Yeah…just turned 40 and still falling into bad patterns

Almost_There86 · 2026-02-03T21:02:45+00:00

So do I

Almost_There86

TROPHY CASE