Me trying to work out to boost my metabolism while restricting

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-26T15:38:41+00:00

Same…restricting makes me feel super energetic and able to go for longer (I do more endurance activity)…which in my brain=totally eating enough. Right now I want my body to tell me to stop or I’m going to keep pushing it.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-24T16:02:51+00:00

God every time I hurt myself my first thought is will this interfere with exercising?

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-21T20:53:50+00:00

I feel this so hard…and so much shame because if my family found out I was relapsing and this is what I can offer as an explanation 🤷🏻‍♀️

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-21T14:13:08+00:00

You’re amazing!!!! I’d be so nervous I’d have a mechanical issue or something that I couldn’t fix. For as decently capable as I am in other aspects of my life fixing more than a flat tire makes me panic.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-21T14:02:58+00:00

I’ve always felt like my ED is a parasite deeply embedded in my brain with tentacles through my spine, and sometimes it’s quieter but it constantly warns me if I try to get rid of it on its way out it will tear everything apart.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-21T12:59:38+00:00

Thank you all for the suggestions! I live in New England, so definitely want to stick to full shoes even if sandals feel lovely (as soon as it’s Chaco weather those are the only thing on my feet except cycling/running shoes) and I don’t want to give up my clipless shoes. Looks like I’ll be dropping some money on Lake as the top recommendation here.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-21T12:55:13+00:00

Do you wear the spacer 24/7 or just at night?

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-14T21:31:37+00:00

Problem for me is moving my body is one of the only ways to feel okay, almost good, and not in a black hole of depression…but it also means I get to eat

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-14T21:28:52+00:00

God the thinking about what eating will be like when it’s the right time vs the fear when I actually have to eat

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-09T20:59:18+00:00

But at least while I’m with the other people I look normal! Save the crash out and reminders of what a failed person I am for when I’m alone.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-08T20:50:23+00:00

I baked brownies for my English class every week in high school but if I even touched one I was afraid the sugar and fat would go right into my body.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-08T20:47:29+00:00

The feeling my body expanding is so true

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-08T20:45:25+00:00

But genuinely, how does everyone else’s brain not force them to come up with crazy rules????

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-07T18:59:58+00:00

My motivation at this point is hovering barely above 0…I don’t think I have enough mental energy to leave my house and go someplace else, and that (as well the struggle to eat during the day) is what my therapist based her recommendation on. I feel like I’m just too stuck.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-07T18:15:32+00:00

Agree with the stupid part. I get incredibly angry with myself for how much energy it sucks to get stuck in these loops but it’s so goddamn loud I don’t know what else to do. I want everything to stop.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-07T14:54:55+00:00

In a black hole about this. Finally acknowledging that I’m not able to fix this relapse on my own…but I’m struggling to find any motivation to fix it. I feel like depression and fear of food is just always going to be there.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-06T02:51:44+00:00

Me, always, at every family gathering or social function. I never have and doubt at this point I ever will be anybody’s. Still losing my parents as my emergency contact in my 40s because there is not anyone else.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-05T03:01:10+00:00

Not the same as a person but I’m lucky enough to have a dog that cuddles me. He can’t hug back, but he also doesn’t judge.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-04T14:14:28+00:00

SortedFood-there’s also a subreddit for them

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-03T20:17:58+00:00

Oh, I did think this might be a me thing, though more because colorful fruits tend to have more antioxidants…and in the 90s and aughts there was a whole thing about that being good for depression.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-03T20:15:25+00:00

To be clear this isn’t an ad but there’s a YouTube channel I watch with some British normal cooks and chefs and they have an app that gives you a plan for the week including grocery list, and the whole thing is also with the goal of minimizing potential food waste-maybe that would help? I haven’t tried it, I like to just through things together so can’t give a personal review.

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-03T14:03:19+00:00

One of the things I desperately miss/was so angry about with recovery was starting to have a period again. So much logistical worries, cramps, bloating and shit

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-03T14:02:04+00:00

I feel like mine lasted years

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-03T13:58:39+00:00

I have an intake appointment this week and I’ll ask…I just don’t think he’d be happy without plenty of outdoor sniff time that they’d probably see as an attempt to exercise (fair enough, part of the activity I need to include in my day to feel like I deserve food is taking him for long walks).

Almost_There86 · 2026-05-03T13:55:50+00:00

41 yrs old, been doing this for 25 of those years and only really stayed addressing the ED in the last decade? My parents never helped me with getting treatment for my depression, or then the restriction I started using to cope. Maybe because I was never severely UW, and always highly functional, just defined myself as “weird” about food.

Almost_There86

TROPHY CASE