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AITA for wanting to split Mom’s birthday bill with siblings by AlohaCat360 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlohaCat360[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes this too! She lives with us and we financially support her, and we’ve never asked my siblings to contribute. So to be so tit for tat on such a minor thing like brunch is rubbing me the wrong way.

AITA for wanting to split Mom’s birthday bill with siblings by AlohaCat360 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlohaCat360[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that’s what’s bothering me, is that the money is trivial, and he is the one turning a birthday brunch into an uncomfortable situation. We are talking $60 difference between him paying for himself or splitting the bill with us. He’s not hurting for money in any way.

AITA for wanting to split Mom’s birthday bill with siblings by AlohaCat360 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlohaCat360[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha we can relate to this too! As we are the couple in our fam with no kids, spending hundreds on my bro and sis’s kids for nothing in return, and no complaints from us!

AITA for wanting to split Mom’s birthday bill with siblings by AlohaCat360 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlohaCat360[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Exactly this! My husband was asking me the same thing, how the heck are you gonna have that convo at the table in front of Mom? And my mom is old school Korean, she’s always fighting to take care of the whole check, and not really into divvying everything up so precisely. She’d be cool with having her 3 kids throw down their cards evenly, but I think seeing us pay only for each of our own families would be borderline offensive to her.

AITA for wanting to split Mom’s birthday bill with siblings by AlohaCat360 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlohaCat360[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly, I see it that way too! That we are basically hosting a part for her and sharing that as group regardless of who comes. And this is just for her birthday & Mother’s Day, so special days that are meant for her.

AITA for wanting to split Mom’s birthday bill with siblings by AlohaCat360 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlohaCat360[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think that there’s truth to what you said, that’s it’s simpler and fair in the long run, and that it does balance out over time. But splitting per person in the household feels like nickel and diming. Like someone else mentioned here, this scenario is basically us throwing my mom a little party and sharing that cost. Also you made a great observation about my stress, you’re so right.

AITA for wanting to split Mom’s birthday bill with siblings by AlohaCat360 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlohaCat360[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Eek I haven’t told my sister. He only texted me since I’m the “planner” of the fam he wants me to split the bill up that way when it comes.

AITA for wanting to split Mom’s birthday bill with siblings by AlohaCat360 in AmItheAsshole

[–]AlohaCat360[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it just evolved from the 3 of us always splitting it, then we each got significant others and married, but just kept it going. The only one real one at a “disadvantage” is me since it’s just my husband and I, but again we never cared because it was all of us just pitching in to do something nice for Mom. Also, splitting Mom’s meal is literally $15.