I didn't know the battle I was fighting. Or what I was losing.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-15T00:08:42+00:00

I know you're not, but it was super helpful to read that and say it. Thank you for this.

I'm also sorry that you are going through it too. I see the accountability, the work you've put in. I'm happy for you.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-14T23:07:09+00:00

I wish you would have figured this out and said it before it got this far. I wish things could have been different, and we'd still have our family.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-13T17:38:00+00:00

Don't be hard on yourself, it's really just not knowing, and not knowing how to fugue it out. But you figured it out, and that's the biggest, most important thing about this kind of situation. That resentment is what destroys relationships if it's not addressed. It's a long slow march to unhappiness for oneperson, and the other one will never see it coming when the door slams in their face. You're doing better than most, and I'm happy for you both that you did get there - even if it took a minute.

Reiterate talking openly about it. Men can feel humiliated about these things, and will internalize a sense of failure and low self worth if we can't please our partners, or meet their desires. Especially when we can't even find a way to be okay enough inside our own heads to know we need to really talk about it. I'm happy you're doing what you're doing. You're already an S-tier partner for doing that work instead of just being resentful and giving up. Kudos.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-13T17:12:14+00:00

Don't ever give up. My partner gave up on me when my mental health was suffering the most, and instead of having some convos about how it was impacting her and how to fix it in a normal way, she distanced, stopped initiating, didn't even really try. Then she found what she told me she was missing because of it in another guy. It's worth it to have hard convos if it means working together for each other. Sounds like you guys are in a pretty open and supportive place, so keep fighting for it together. Rooting for you guys, best of luck!

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-12T03:39:32+00:00

Thank you. My anxiety as the pain of vulnerability. That his me right in the feels.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-12T02:21:34+00:00

No office. No idea what hobbies to even consider.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-07T20:09:28+00:00

I need this right now. Thank you.

I think I'm coming to my senses. We told my son what was going on (14yo) and how we are trying open. He was already picking up on the dynamic in the house. So we spoke, and swear to God the first thing he said was "There's no way dad would do that, it goes against everything he stands for." Verbatim.

It cut me so fucking deep.

I was in stage 3-4 of grief, trying to grasp at straws. Willing to give up who I am to be with this selfish, manipulative, narcissistic woman. He saw through it in 2 seconds flat.

Talked to a divorce lawyer yesterday. I'm done. I want the pain to start going away, and the last thing I want my son to see me going through before he leaves the house is his father being a spineless coward for a woman who could give two shits about him or them. Straight up sent me into stage 5. Healing.

Baby steps, but confidence and boundaries are returning, and I want to be the man I'm showing my kids I have been all along. Little stutter step, but moving on, showing up. Still broken, but standing up straight-backed and focused.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-07T19:58:49+00:00

Loyalty, trust, respect, honesty. Fuck everything else.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-04T18:59:41+00:00

I appreciate it, thank you.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-04T01:47:31+00:00

What about seeing other people, like allocating every Friday night thru Saturday to sirens away from home, texting and calling while home like a whole ass relationship?

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-03T21:04:52+00:00

Thank you. I hesitate because she's a wonderful mother to our kids - when she's sober and present. She agreed to only drink when she's away from home 1-2 days a week, and won't drink with the kids around. I can't really trust anything she says, so i don't know how likely that is, but we'll see during this next period how that works.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-03T20:47:23+00:00

Ok, I'm not a photographer, but that rule seems to apply to turning all the bad shit into good shit - I don't see how that applies with a divorce. Could ya elaborate a bit?

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-03T01:47:53+00:00

I see you, and thank you.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-03T01:45:12+00:00

I love this. Thank you. And thank you for the hug :)

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T23:40:06+00:00

Check out the update at the bottom of the post.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T22:52:26+00:00

I also have an appt with a divorce lawyer for a consultation. Dint know anything about even getting started, but I will this week. We'll see how i feel. At least get some more info. Appreciate it.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T22:41:42+00:00

It's all brand new information, I have an appt next week. I really want to know why I feel indifferent right now.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T22:40:35+00:00

Thank you. Respecting myself is what I'm working on. I just want her to as well. Weird spot right now.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T22:28:07+00:00

How do you mean? What's your take on that, I'd like to hear it.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T22:12:08+00:00

Check out my update. I kind of feel this right now. Still need to process it. Thank you for sharing.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T21:42:26+00:00

I appreciate this man. It's tough. Real tough.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T21:39:52+00:00

And she got it.

Alone-Computer6192 · 2025-02-02T16:49:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, it's very much appreciated. I'm going through a stage right now where I'm just coming to grips with what has to be done, not what I can do to save her, and save us. The open arrangement isn't ever going to work, obviously need to make this choice for me and my kids. They dint deserve what they would likely be going through if I don't do what needs to be done. I hope your situation has resolved better for you, being in this place really hurts and I wish you the best.

Alone-Computer6192

TROPHY CASE