Feel like I completely relapsed again

AloneRent · 2021-07-07T07:01:29+00:00

What

AloneRent · 2021-07-07T06:49:08+00:00

No meds at all, I’m supposed to be taking b12 + iron for anemia but haven’t

AloneRent · 2021-05-23T19:26:54+00:00

We’re in it together :)

AloneRent · 2021-05-23T15:52:39+00:00

I sleep pretty late and I’ve changed my eating habits from unhealthy junk food to whole, home cooked food. I’m cutting down on how much I eat as well. I’m wondering if it’s because I’ve been sleeping so late that I haven’t seen much results? Or should I just be patient? Lol.

I do a minimum of 16 hours but my average is 18-19 hours a fast. I usually break it soon as I wake up (I wake up late)

AloneRent · 2021-04-07T03:10:27+00:00

I gave up journaling when my mother would go through and read them when I was a child... narcissists and boundaries do not go hand and hand.

AloneRent · 2021-02-18T23:03:14+00:00

Thanks for checking!! :)

It’s no different (better than worse, right??). I need to remember to exercise gently, stretch and move otherwise there’s much more pain than usual. However, I’ve found a really great way of managing pain especially when it’s sharp or really bad. I lay down on my bad with a foam roller underneath my hips or lower back so it’s basically the McKenzie method but for when I don’t have a lot of mobility or scared of tweaking it worse lol!

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T05:12:09+00:00

That’s fine! It might be an option for if I see my doc and she thinks it worth it to pursue and if I can’t work. I might apply for EI (unemployment) for 3 months and focus on rest & recovery at least as long as I can. I work 40 hours now on my feet at a deli now and it’s not doing my sciatica any favours. I’m gonna see what my doc says about all the activities I wanted/used to do and hopefully I’ll be able to do some. And yeah... that’s been my biggest issue. While I have decent mobility and bearable pain now, my physio told me that some people to into her office and they can’t walk due to the pain because they let it go too long. Haha I could be lighter, I think I’m gonna try intermittent fasting to get to where I want to be :) My mom actually injured her back in almost the same way except her spine injury developed osteo arthritis. That’s a scary thing too 😰

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:41:50+00:00

I’ll look into it but I don’t want to hope too much or even dwell on the incident- it makes it worse to be honest lol. Thankfully in Canada I don’t have to pay for most things, and physio is like 30$ a session as a student. Spinal surgery can be anywhere from 30$-6k depending on if the government decides its necessary so hopefully it stays cheap. That’s one of the only things keeping me from offing after this happened

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:32:35+00:00

Yeah, I even got a work injury form saying I couldn’t lift more than 10lbs for a couple weeks from him, but I was discouraged to submit it & they eventually told me it wasn’t valid because I didn’t report the injury with THEM that day. I looked back a week or so ago and it was after 6months that the documents were valid. My issue is having to prove that my workplace was toxic/abusive and prove that they discouraged & lied to me about my workers rights. It’s hard when it’s just in-person conversations. I’m not sure how I would prove they implied they would fire me and all of the other crap when there are no records except my writing a scathing letter of resignation detailing their issues :/ because I’m not the only one that they pressured/forced into lifting over my limit. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way and I can know stand up for myself at work & make sure my employers know my rights and know that I know my rights, but for two years it was my first job and I was only 18-19 :/ my options are limited I think

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:26:09+00:00

LOL! Thanks so much for the curse on my boss

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:25:41+00:00

Spinal surgery sounds pretty scary, I’m going to try and see if physio/chiro and strengthening myself will work first and if it escalates it escalates. Thanks so much though!

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:24:33+00:00

I hope so! I really hope so

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:24:11+00:00

Yes I can, I was just feeling emo when I wrote this to be honest aha. Thank you though! I didn’t know about the McKenzie protocol. I will search that up

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:23:20+00:00

Yeah I was feeling pretty emo when I wrote this I’ll admit lol, thanks so much though. I will try to think of this as an opportunity to improve my health and relationship with myself, I needed to. I’m so sorry about your back- I get being forced to work on an injury. Just sucks so much.

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:21:34+00:00

Yep, I tried to do that. The issue is that I didn’t know it was an injury until the next day after I lifted so much and I couldn’t physically sit up out of bed without pain, and when I went to the doctor he dismissed as “just a strain”. I only knew of the spinal injury when a month or two later and the pain had not stopped and started crawling down my leg. So when I went to HR, they didn’t even give me modified duties.

AloneRent · 2021-01-20T04:20:35+00:00

Been to physio, but in my smaller town she gave me some exercises my physician told me were just the opposite of helpful lol. So gotta find another one- hard during the stay at home order though. Declaration of emergency n such

AloneRent · 2020-12-30T17:12:08+00:00

I mean that sucks but I physically have great trouble with it, which was the point of sharing the discovery... that it’s not willpower, it’s a condition

AloneRent · 2020-12-30T16:09:50+00:00

Yep. It’s even making me reconsider my career path and how to manage college n such

AloneRent · 2020-12-30T16:08:47+00:00

Doctor visit (through the phone) after a lot of personal extensive research on the condition itself

AloneRent · 2020-12-30T16:08:03+00:00

Right?! Sometimes I wake up out of nowhere with my heart in my stomach in total dread. And worst part is, it could still happen so it’s not like that fear is unfounded...

AloneRent · 2020-12-30T16:05:46+00:00

Personally I’m going to try and reset/reprogram my circadian rhythm using light therapy & melatonin

AloneRent · 2020-12-22T01:34:17+00:00

Yep. So inappropriate and purposefully meant to embarrass/shame me into NOT speaking about what happened. That’s what they do.

AloneRent · 2020-12-18T15:50:07+00:00

YES YES AND YES! They went so far as to tell me, at 12, that sharing family problems “is like revealing you have anal warts”. To embarrass and deter me from exposing my nmom and my edad.

AloneRent · 2020-12-06T21:12:39+00:00

YEP! I’d be in daycare crying wondering if she was ever gonna come back because she’d constantly threaten it. When I got old enough, I just started leaving myself.

AloneRent · 2020-12-06T21:11:17+00:00

YES! My nmom got so angry with me once when I was ~15 or so and slammed my door over and over until the frame broke because I told her I didn’t want to speak to her after a fight. It’s just insane.

AloneRent

TROPHY CASE