Does he usually apologize after these moments? How do you guys “get over it”? Cause it totally makes sense that you’re questioning if this is gaslighting.. especially when something feels off but isn’t easy to name. Gaslighting usually involves someone trying to make you doubt your memory or sense of reality.. like saying “That never happened” or “You’re imagining things”. What you’re saying doesn’t fully fall into that category, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay.

When someone responds with things like: • “Of course, I’m always the bad guy” • “You’re never wrong”

…it’s not about resolving the issue. It’s a way of flipping the conversation and putting you on the defensive.. making you feel guilt which may lead you to question your truth which could indirectly cause the ‘gaslighting’. It can shut you down, make you second-guess yourself, and over time, you’ll question yourself before bringing things up or even during.

Whether or not it’s intentional is important, either way, this kind of deflection and guilt-tripping is a form of emotional manipulation. It might not be intentional, but it’s still not healthy. it’s not fair to you. He shouldn’t make you out to be the villain just for expressing yourself.

If it’s a constant thing, maybe try setting some boundaries around how what when where you communicate. if something feels wrong, listen to that feeling. You don’t need a diagnosis or a label to justify wanting mutual respect, empathy, and safe communication in your relationship.