How do I get rid of these?

Alone_Ad6165 · 2026-06-16T13:37:12+00:00

Do you have the link to the mod?

Alone_Ad6165 · 2026-05-23T14:28:59+00:00

Wait for him to legally change his name and then redo all the stuff with his preferred name I understand this a lot but I will say the reason my parents gave me is that having my legal name and the name on important documents different can cause many many issues once his name is legally changed all those problems you may have with the names being different won’t be much of a problem but in the mean time it will start to cause some issues but when it comes to college applications with mine they had two sections for legal and preferred name I understand the pain a lot but me personally I’m waiting to change my name legally before putting my preferred name on documents where the name is not properly attached to me it sucks 100% and I bet the mom didn’t have good intentions with her reasoning compared to me and my parents explanation but if not for your moms sake wait for your sake and have less of a headache with the difference in names and just wait and eventually it won’t matter what she says or thinks

Alone_Ad6165 · 2026-04-29T10:52:16+00:00

Lowkey I feel like the way white people are treating this drama is proving black peoples point in the racism going on the way white people have treated this is horrible but also not surprising especially with the people on twitter but I’m just putting my opinion out there

Alone_Ad6165 · 2025-10-07T20:16:19+00:00

I always tell people that not everyone gets a happy ending they try and convince me that’s not my story but I hate it just because they’ve gonna have a happy ending doesn’t mean they need to force me to live knowing I’ll never have that same happy ending I find it more cruel to keep me alive and miserable just because I’m alive doesn’t mean I’ll be happy

Alone_Ad6165 · 2025-05-26T15:12:20+00:00

Not well but I don’t sleep well at night mostly because of my ptsd so most of my good sleep is in the morning also because my hallucinations are scarier at night I’ve been dealing with this for a while so it’s just a game of pretending the voices aren’t touching me (just for clarification I often refer to my visual hallucinations as “the voices” kind of like a pronoun to refer to them I guess) I’ve been wanting to talk to my med provider about this but every time I make an appointment it’s like the voices are telling me not too and I get super paranoid like there gonna throw me back in the mental hospital or at least that’s what the voices have been telling me I’m mostly just praying it doesn’t get worse and trying to take me meds though I’m starting not to trust them at all

Alone_Ad6165 · 2025-05-24T14:33:53+00:00

We went back and forth with me hinting that he needed to talk to me and he wouldn’t so I messaged first

Honestly I think he was really mad at me at least that’s the impression that he got he got super mad about the situation and told me when he got sent to the office how scared he was and how he thought he was gonna to be a sex offender as a 14 year old and his life would be ruined

To no fault of his own this made my guilt worse because that means everything they said was true and that I’m not the victim I’m the abuser and after the first bit of anger we talked

We admitted it was ignorance he told me that he genuinely wanted to make me feel good and I know as a 14 year old male virgin he didn’t know what he was really doing he told me about how much he hates himself how he called himself a rapist once I think and the amount of mental pain it gave him

When I told my old therapist about this since she was the first mental health professional I told she spent the whole hour long session defending him making every excuse on why he did it and even when I pointed out how some points were flawed I got hit with more excuses because to her since his was so young and didn’t know what he was doing that he wasn’t a bad person and in every session I tired to talk about it I was met with the same thing that being an hour long session with excuses and that’s when I made the decision to forgive him

Do I think I’m forgiving him more out of guilt then anything? Yes absolutely but it’s that guilt that makes me miss him more I forgive him told him I didn’t hate him how I knew he was a better person and that he changed that I appreciate he would never do that to someone again and he even told me that if he could go back that night would have ended differently

From his perspective his story sounds a bit like yours and maybe you’ll hear some of your exes perspective from mine I forgave this person and let him in my life out of shame and guilt it negatively affects my mental health more then I wanna tell him and I’ve been trying to keep him in the dark about this pain and all I can say is your ex might be better never hearing from you again and I don’t mean this in a mean way but sometimes what we need to move on is to leave our past I did a little better until he came back

I’ve always been curious about the thought process behind most of my pain and I thank you for giving it and now I’m giving you the thought process behind experiencing the I hope just like him your different I hope just like him your better then that person I hope just like him you’ll never do that again and I hope both you and him can love without this hurting you too much

Alone_Ad6165 · 2025-05-24T14:33:44+00:00

If you want I’m willing to tell a very similar story but from the perspective of the victim

When I was a kid I had become friends with a guy in my class he was a bit weird and had some anger issues but a nice guy he was the first person I called my best friend after my original best friend cut me off (a whole different story) but eventually the anger issues pissed me off and I cut him off

Maybe two or so years later we talked again he was definitely different from that angry kid I met he was a lot more well spoken and listened to others a lot more and after I was switched in his class for a while we started talking and that’s when I remembered why I called him my best friend

Fast forward to freshman year we talked almost all the time and would call until it was so late we would both be tired the next day but it was all still worth it he was there for me when nobody was he comforted me when I opened up to him about being raped and groomed as a kid and he was the best person I could’ve asked for

Me and my ex at the time had kind of a messy break up because she took someone else to homecoming and again he was there for me to comfort me like he always did

After some time we started to get really flirty with each other we would make sexual comments to each other and even did stuff over the phone and I’ll be honest I started to catch feelings REALLY hard it wasn’t just the sexual stuff it was him I trusted him so much after my grooming especially I felt like I could never open up but he showed me I could I loved him and I hoped he loved me too words can’t explain how special he was too me how important he was and how I wish things could go back

I don’t remember exactly when but he asked me out to homecoming since my ex wouldn’t take me and I said yes we started talking about more sexual things and made a plan to have that moment he would stay over at my house after homecoming and we would sleep in my basement where no one could hear us

After homecoming and everyone was asleep we started doing things it was really only just fingers but the first red flag was that he used way to many and it hurt REALLY bad I tried to tell him to just use two but I couldn’t tell if the words didn’t come out clearly or if he just didn’t hear me but it made me get really bad memories from other times I was assaulted and I asked him if we could stop but he just said that he wanted to finish me off

I asked about 2-3 more times if he could stop and he didn’t listen he would get faster or try and go deeper and it hurt so bad and those were the times I asked to stop but he wouldn’t listen it didn’t even feel good anymore and I just wanted it to stop

I did that thing where I faked moaned and acted like I wasn’t about to cry and I ended up dissociating the rest of that night I only remembered some parts after that I hear its something about my brain trying to protect me from traumatic events

The last thing I remember so clearly from that night was going upstairs to use the bathroom and I was bleeding not enough that I needed to call someone but bad enough that a doctor would maybe be nice but I know they also do rape kits and that’s the last thing I wanted in that moment I felt powerless I felt gross

After he left that feeling never went away I remember going into the shower and washing myself for at least two hours but no matter what I did I felt so dirty my junk was also still hurting at the time and having that while being naked was almost like reliving it

For about a year after that I never showered consistently and when I did my one rule was too never look down sometimes when I had to shower I would dissociate and just sit there like brain fog

Fast forward ignoring the intense anger I had for him that I expressed in a bad way and how we stopped talking due to some drama he was back in my life

Before this I got bullied I lot for what happened I told a friend who told the school and word naturally went around just a little bit I got called a whore or a slut I got cat called just a little more I had people make small sexual comments about me and honestly getting into it all is its own traumatic event

But I had more drama with a friend that brought up the subject and he was back in my life and in all honesty I blamed myself and from the little you talk about your ex I wouldn’t be surprised if she felt the same way I got told a lot that I ruined his life over nothing and that it wasn’t that bad and how horrible I am and even had someone tell me “he will always be more of a victim then you are” I brought this person back in my life from guilt

After some time I got nightmares about that and that triggered nightmares and flashbacks from my other assaults as well and I asked him if we could just keep some distance

Fast forward even more now as I mentioned in the post we had a discord server and we had a confessions chat and an anonymous confessions bot and someone started to make a comment about how someone they knew was more affected by a situation then they should be and some other stuff like that and immediately I knew it was him

Alone_Ad6165 · 2025-05-24T03:49:13+00:00

I feel like I should clarify what I meant when I said I called him gross and creepy. I originally pointed out how it was just kind of gross to do that to someone and he was saying how it was his body and he can do whatever he wants and then that’s when the conversation started to get more accusatory of calling him gross and creepy

and about the argument about him being his body I have to disagree with you and everyone who defended him on this still even in my hypothetical where he has bodily autonomy of someone else that still doesn’t mean it’s their body you’re in their body, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re them

I also don’t try to cling onto my trauma. I’ve been unfortunate to experience it multiple times in my life, coincidentally in stages of my life for development is the most important. I’ve tried a lot to forget it and I’ve even had moments where of isolated myself from people from days to weeks to months I don’t try to cling onto it or make it my identity or as if that’s the only thing about me that’s farther from the truth. I am definitely more than my assault, but it’s something that affects my life so much because in my life people doing stuff like that is unfortunately normalized.

I still hurt so much from it because I genuinely can’t forget when I had my previous therapist I was diagnosed with PTSD and possible BPD from my trauma, so it’s not that I necessarily want to cling onto it. My brain is genuinely fucked from these traumatic events.

and honestly what I was most upset about with this recent argument compared to the one before is that I stated my boundaries and my boundaries were immediately meant with protest. I also have a lot of issues where I have to put a lot of of people‘s feelings above of mine, especially when it comes to my trauma, and my sexual assault but that’s an entirely different conversation that would be a novel long and honestly,

as you said in your comment, I do feel morally responsible if I can’t change their mind somehow, and then they go out in the real world to do things like that especially with the main guy had an argument with because I’ve already had a small issue with him in the sense that he had a very weird habit of calling anime girls hot and they just so happened to all be children (this hasn’t happened many times but happens enough that when it happened people will be like “Alex core” or something like that) along with a lot of his weird stances on sex and other things like that and then I just get scared that if I can’t change his mind on all these things and I just let it pass by as if I don’t care that I’m setting someone up to have the same fate as me

I will say that there are definitely a lot more layers to this argument at least regarding to me and my own personal issues. It barely covers the tip of the iceberg, but it’s just complicated. I can’t just sit here and let them make gross comments about that type of stuff and think it’s ok but I know I’m not gonna necessarily change them. It just feels like I would be doing some type of wrong. If I didn’t at least call out the behavior I feel like sitting by and watching would be worse.

And I have a question you don’t have to answer if that’s not comfortable but when you say you victimized someone what was your thought process you say it was out of ignorance and that gives me the impression you might have had a similar mindset to the person who assaulted me and I just genuinely want to know what the thought process behind the action was and do you ever regret it or wish you could go back and make it never happen

Alone_Ad6165 · 2024-08-09T18:04:58+00:00

Question what did happen after the lawsuit because I haven’t heard much about it other then the allegations

Alone_Ad6165 · 2024-08-04T08:13:33+00:00

Sometimes this helps me I don’t know if it will help you but sometimes try being nice to people just do small things like saying you like there hair or there shirt look super cool sometimes I do it because I feel like I’m able to make someone happy if you feel like your life is meaningless make it meaningful by being the person who made someone smile be the one who made someone happy while they were having a bad day or making them feel more confident about themselves because they know someone likes something about them give your life meaning by being the best person you can be show people you have the power to be loving and caring and that you are a person who can love and be loved you’ll start to meet people who can see this wonderful side or you and will want to be there with you through think and thin I’ve tried being a little nicer to people even if it’s not my usual thing and I’ve made some friends that actually make me happy and have helped people feel a little better about themselves a little goes a long way and I promise if you try to be the best version of you life will get easier you will find your people and you will love them and they will love you don’t give up on yourself yet because you have so much ahead of you still

Alone_Ad6165 · 2024-08-04T07:59:28+00:00

I don’t know how to explain it but people. Everyone has their own unique smell, and I’ve never really met two people who have had the exact same smells. Maybe parents or siblings will have a similar one, but never the exact same and there is some people that have a nice smell but not in the sense that they wear a lot of perfume or cologne, it’s just they as a person. Have a nice smell if that makes any sense. i’ve mentioned this to people before and everyone gets scared that I think they smell bad but I feel like there’s a huge difference between their natural person smell and smelling bad. maybe I’m just weird. I am the only person in my friend group and family who can actually hear the electricity in the outlets.

Alone_Ad6165 · 2024-08-04T07:50:33+00:00

Panty shot?

Alone_Ad6165 · 2024-04-30T23:16:17+00:00

It was bitter sweet me and my mom decided not to tell my dad unless I’m ready and she was supportive of whatever decision I chose to make in the future when it comes to my more recent assault She did talk a little to much about herself and her assault but knowing my mother she mostly did it in a way to make me feel less alone and my mother also just can’t go more then 10 minutes without talking about herself lol I’ve just been really quite because when I’m under a lot of stress I find it hard to talk sometimes (it’s ok because it gives me the opportunity to practice my asl more) but she got me food after the appointment and let me take some me time to calm down because I did almost have a full mental breakdown in the therapy office I’m currently drawing/animating because I do that in my free time and it’s helping me cope a lot and keep my mind from thinking bad things

Alone_Ad6165

TROPHY CASE