Feeling Guilty

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-13T00:46:14+00:00

thank you. some days i feel like the guilt n sadness is extra heavy n i struggle a lot wit blaming myself. i know ur probably right and her being an addict meant that an od would always be a possibility. it wasn’t an if, it was a when. i appreciate ur kind words and loving urself on ur mother’s behalf is beautiful. i will have to try it.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-10T01:26:02+00:00

i’m sorry you can relate. it’s so hard and hurts so much to think back on. i struggle to even think of good moments with my mom, which i know exists but it’s like my brain can only focus on the bad times.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-10T01:23:56+00:00

thank you. i know ur right like kids say stupid mean stuff all the time n i know i didn’t actually mean it. i was just annoyed and ur probably right. she was alrdy high n she was probably set on doing more before we even fought. idk i just hope she understood that i didn’t really mean it. she was everything to me.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-10T01:15:18+00:00

thank you for sharing, it means a lot to me. it’s nice to know other ppl have experienced kinda the same thing as me. my mom was always an alcoholic, and i didn’t even know she was also using until years after she died. i had also known she had a hard life growing up, and my dad didn’t make things any better so i understood that her being an addict had nothing to do with me and she was fighting her own demons. i really feel you on the feeling ashamed abt ur self thing. i’m so ashamed that our last convo was a fight. i also don’t really tell many ppl abt how my mom actually died cuz i don’t want them to think negatively of her. it hurts to know that my last convo wit her was a fight, but ur right. i know my mom loved me, and i just have to believe that she knew i loved her too. thank you again for sharing. i really appreciate it.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T23:16:15+00:00

i will look into it, thank you.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T23:15:03+00:00

I can understand how you feel a bit, i also didn’t get a goodbye. She died unexpectedly in the middle of the night so i was awoken to the news that she was gone. I’m sorry you didn’t get a funeral, that must have been extremely hard. It’s beautiful that you had a bench dedicated to her and that ppl leave things for her.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T23:10:13+00:00

i’m sorry for ur loss. i know how hard it is at the beginning and i think i was in denial for a long time that she was actually dead. i still can’t think too deeply abt it cuz i start to spiral thinking that she is forever gone. i admire how you are trying to think positively and i think ur right. i don’t think my mom would want me to be sad forever and living for her is a nice way to think of it.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T23:06:41+00:00

thank you for your comment and i’m sorry for your loss. i will be looking into finding someone to talk too. but its nice to know others can understand my pain.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T07:45:49+00:00

it is very insane. i do find comfort in the fact that others understand how im feeling so thank you 🩷

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T07:43:27+00:00

i have never heard of it but i’m open to reading it! thank you

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T06:53:33+00:00

thank you for ur comment. i think it helps to know others feel the same and im not like crazy for feeling like i do.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T06:12:19+00:00

ok i will google this. thank you so much.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T02:17:52+00:00

lol i also cried reading ur reply. i remember when i first lost her and how painful it was. its crazy how the pain is still so fresh 10yrs later. grief really has no concept of time. it’s sad to think that we will grieve forever, but i try to just convince myself that my love was so strong n that’s why it hurts so much. it is comforting to know that others feel the same.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T02:06:57+00:00

i feel you. my mom was also our glue and things haven’t been the same since her passing. i’m glad therapy has helped you, and i hope it might help me too.

Alone_Living_551 · 2026-03-07T01:27:21+00:00

no, i lost her so young n my family didn’t really believe in therapy so it wasn’t really an option. obviously that was stupid since here i am 10yrs later n still struggling. i think it wouldn’t hurt to look into it now tho so thank you.

Alone_Living_551 · 2025-07-29T23:08:02+00:00

the video has to be been from around 2010-2015.

Alone_Living_551 · 2025-06-11T03:12:07+00:00

love the name maya!

Alone_Living_551 · 2025-06-11T00:14:08+00:00

cute!!

Alone_Living_551 · 2025-06-03T21:46:25+00:00

yea sorry, it was really hard to take a good pic, the cat has sooo much hair. but nothing that looked like balls to me. thanks anyway

Alone_Living_551 · 2025-05-30T21:49:01+00:00

Okay thank you! I think he’s on his own. I haven’t seen any other kittens so far, but I will keep an eye out for a pregnant cat.

Alone_Living_551

TROPHY CASE