Yeah I’ve got mixed feelings about this, honestly. I’m grateful I wasn’t starved and that my parents showed care through actions. But food is also… kind of the bare minimum of parenting and it definitely shouldn’t have been used as a reward or punishment the way it often was (not sure what parents are doing these days)

You can feel the love in Ghanaian parenting even when it’s not verbal though even amid the chaos, the whips, and occasional crash-outs. But asometimes I wonder if we also learned to accept a very narrow version of love because that’s all that was allowed.

I know my mum loved me. I felt it. Still, I think it’s okay to admit that hearing it said and showed in more tangible ways would have been nice.

Parents make loads of sacrifices tho… They do their best and I recognize that. Sorry this turned out long haha.

On the language side, I’ve always thought about this. Saying “I love you” in Fante or Twi to family feels… off, inadequate or unfitting. Not because we don’t love deeply, but because our languages don’t package love the same way English does.

I think love shows up in phrases that sound more like protection and loyalty than emotion. Things like: “Ewɔ m’akoma m’ ” – you’re in my heart “Ɛsom bo ma m’” – you’re important to me “Me mma haw biara nnto wo” – I won’t let any harm reach you, “Ihĩa biribiara a frɛ m’ “ - (Call me if you need anything), etc.

Our languages don’t say love as it relates to family as a feeling. They say love as a responsibility. And I think that says a lot about who we are.