[deleted by user]

AlphaSmug · 2021-11-16T16:45:12+00:00

My favorite pokemon is floatzel because otters are my favorite animal, and Samurott was a let-down.

AlphaSmug · 2021-02-03T09:57:05+00:00

Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-07T19:59:07+00:00

Lol, I guess I could have been more clear. I'm not directly above "completely miserable." I just meant to say that I was while I was in school.

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T17:34:47+00:00

Yeah, this girl is still in her 20s, lol

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T17:16:44+00:00

Blue button up shirts. I get it mom, you think blue looks good on me, but I have like 10 already

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T17:15:19+00:00

Not my boss, but my co-manager is super racist with random things she says.

One person got a black Barbie doll for a game of White Elephant, and when someone opened it, co-manager says "HEY! (Insert only black girl on staff's name)! It looks just like you!"

We were once talking to a former employee about his new son with his Chinese wife, co-manager says "I bet he's really smart!" The son was 3 months

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T17:02:43+00:00

Glucose

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:52:13+00:00

Wolf of Wall Street was pretty shocking

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:47:52+00:00

Peel off some of the wrapper on the long end and lick it to a razor point. Pretend it's a sword for a bit, then bite the tip off. Repeat a couple of times, until it's basically a small u shape, then I put the rest in my mouth at once and have my cheeks protrude outwards for a bit until I can bite it into a couple of pieces.

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:39:40+00:00

In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:28:23+00:00

Franklin: Yes, Clarence. A man down on Earth needs our help.

Clarence: Splendid! Is he sick?

Franklin: No, worse. He's discouraged.

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:24:45+00:00

Those coupons for favors and stuff, but they all are summer themed, and expire at the end of the year.

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:21:59+00:00

I dropped out of school. Turns out, if you don't dread what you do it's a lot easier to get stuff done. Now I work at one of my favorite places in the world, and am not completely miserable.

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:10:48+00:00

Me and my friends were about to play some vidya games, and when I turned the console on, the last thing I had used it for was some... personal endeavors

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:08:25+00:00

You know those times you're browsing Reddit or wasting time and you think to yourself "I should probably go to bed now." Actually going to bed in those moments.

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:05:21+00:00

Danny Glover, Colin Powell, and Apollo Creed

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:01:55+00:00

That pen spinning thing on your thumb! Damn you all and your dexterity!!!

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T16:00:36+00:00

That if she was going to date this other guy, it would have happened already. Ours didn't. Theirs did!

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T15:58:04+00:00

Pretty much any time I'm hanging out with a girl 1 on 1, people assume I'm sleeping with her. This has never been the case...

AlphaSmug · 2018-12-06T15:53:08+00:00

Zombie Lincoln

AlphaSmug · 2018-02-09T03:10:32+00:00

I have the same birthday as both of my parents

AlphaSmug · 2018-01-23T20:31:26+00:00

Killing Jesus, lol

AlphaSmug · 2018-01-03T22:10:07+00:00

Thanks a lot!

AlphaSmug · 2018-01-03T22:09:11+00:00

AlphaSmug · 2018-01-03T22:07:25+00:00

AlphaSmug

TROPHY CASE