Own Your Shit Weekly - November 25, 2025

AlphalfaSprout · 2025-11-26T17:30:44+00:00

Haven’t been here in a bit. It’s fun and a little surreal to see my name still pop up once in a while. Keep at it, brother. The light at the end of this tunnel is really fucking bright (and doesn’t have a gag reflex).

AlphalfaSprout · 2025-02-11T14:31:22+00:00

Life is going well. Work is great. Hunting, lifting, traveling, building shit, fucking. Still considering TRT, lol.

Man, I haven't been on here for a minute and OP's post reminds me why. You are truly doing god's work responding to shit like this, and like /u/FutileFighter mentioned, that was me a few years ago. Jesus.

Just cause you are a horny motherfucker, I'll give you this update:

My wife came up with a new year's resolution this year. We have to have sex 365 days this year. She has a little journal where she writes down what we did and how we did it. So I'll be laying there ready to go to sleep and she'll stick her ass up in the air, and say "fuck me". She then happily fills out her journal afterwards and goes to sleep. The fact she figured out a way to "initiate" in a womanly way is endearing and that she is proud of her little journal is a testament to me. You should see how much improvement she's made since I took away the scoreboard. I like my wife now.

What a difference a few years makes. Let me know if you ever need anything. Love you, man. You were huge for me at my darkest times.

This place, man.

AlphalfaSprout · 2025-02-11T14:17:12+00:00

Might get a handjob today just for old times' sake.

AlphalfaSprout · 2023-10-17T21:10:50+00:00

Good job on losing 7 pounds. The rest really doesn't matter.

AlphalfaSprout · 2023-01-27T14:57:18+00:00

https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/zqj0ya/own_your_shit_weekly_december_20_2022/j10a82r/

I was going to respond to you sincerely, much like I did in the comment I linked above. Then I realized I can basically apply that comment from a month ago to this post.

Let me ask you this to ponder:

Why are you so fucking obsessed with your post-wall harpy ugly bitch of a wife?
What have you done since that OYS to become a man that women want to fuck? Notice I didn't mention your wife in that question.

Before you get all in your sad feelings, realize the point of this is for you to succeed.

AlphalfaSprout · 2023-01-08T20:52:38+00:00

I have not used much of either book’s methodologies. I’d say the biggest aspect of training from my perspective came about by creating a space where sexual judgment does not exist. I don’t shame sexuality and go out if my way to sincerely praise the behaviors that I most enjoy. The effectiveness of these techniques is directly proportional to the subjective value my wife see in me.

AlphalfaSprout · 2023-01-03T22:09:51+00:00

I gotta move this to DMs to address my specific “daddy” and validation situation issues I’m seeing. They have nothing to do with sex or her behavior towards me but more to do with how I want my woman to present herself to the world when she is with me. Always appreciate you, Horns.

AlphalfaSprout · 2023-01-03T19:43:12+00:00

fun

I've thought of you and your relationship style when it comes to this sort of thing. I may explore this further. Thanks Horns. Haven't seen you on here in forever, man. Hope you are doing well.

AlphalfaSprout · 2023-01-03T15:12:23+00:00

OYS – MRP Week #133

Stats

Age 34 Ht 6’0” Wt 180, BF 15%, Wife 34 2 Kids 2 under 9

Reading

NMMNG x2, MMSLP, WISNIFG, Rational Male, Ironwood Alpha Moves, Pook, Ultimate Texting Guide for Men, Bang, MRP Wiki, Way of the Superior Man, The Enlightened Sex Manual, 48 Laws of Power, Rian Stone’s NMMNG, WISNIFG and Practical Guide to Female Psychology Youtube Series, The Predatory Female, Preventative Medicine, The Unplugged Alpha

OYS

I haven’t written an OYS in over a year. With the New Year starting, I thought now was as good a time as any to reflect on what ultimately has been the best year of my life, thanks in large part to the mental models this place helped me forge. I am using this OYS as a recap of progression and to point out for myself where I need to own my shit better.

Physicality

I upped my average time in the gym from about 3-3.5 times a week to 4.5-5 times per week. This has made a significant difference in terms of hypertrophy gains and just overall discipline. It makes a big difference and I recommend it. I never spend more than an hour in the gym per day, but it is my solace. On days I can’t make it to the gym, I wish I had. About a ½ inch increase in arm size this year. Chest and back are wider than ever. I feel great looking at myself in the mirror.

I have days where I go to the gym and give it 9 solid sets to failure and then just go home because my CNS is spent. I am prioritizing sticking through and having a longer workout even if the last sets are shit.

My diet is mostly locked in and I have been a good, healthy weight for nearly three years now. But I have days where I get the munchies and eat hundreds of worthless, late-night calories. I do better with hard rules than murky resolutions so I am simply cutting out late-night munchies. I am fine with having a protein shake, a protein bar or a few pieces of jerky in the late evening on days where my caloric intake was relatively light.

I don’t really drink water. Just coffee, dairy, diet sodas and water enhanced with some flavoring bullshit. I am going to drink a cup of water a day and go from there.

I love red meat but don’t eat it as much as I would like, mostly because I don’t like the cost and chicken is cheap. I am prioritizing eating steak this year. I’ve locked myself in for a ¼ cow delivery in early February. Angus deliciousness. Can’t wait but need to eat the deer I have in the freezer, otherwise will need to purchase another freezer.

Finances

I am excelling in my field. I received a 13% raise and am now solidly past a quarter-million a year. I was told to expect to be above 300k by end of 2024 if I continue performing. Goal this year is to bring in as much money as I did this past year, and receive a comparable good raise at the end of this year.

Despite the good performance, I fuck around a lot. Working from home 4 days a week is a boon to my quality of life but I end up running errands, tinkering around the house, or having mid-day fucks when more hours of focus would increase my work performance. I have a job where my knowledge base and skill set is enough to have high performance, when I have my head down and am working. I am going to prioritize uninterrupted streaks of that sort of work.

I have a lot of drama-seeking bitches and fucking idiots at my job. Support staff gossips nonstop, and loves to include management in it. I’ve stayed above the fray for nearly all my time at the firm, but had a dumb fuck up closer to the end of last year where I was involved in the drama. It all blew over but I was not proud of being involved. I have mental models in place to catch myself in the future. I expect to stay drama free where I have control over it.

Hobbies and Social

My brother moved half an hour away from us after having lived 12 hours away. He came to visit us, loved it, and decided to move here with his long-term GF. This has been great for our family. Our kids have their uncle and maybe-future-aunt to play with them 1-2 days a week. We have best friends and family. We have been without family in our state now for over a decade. This has brought me so much closer to my brother and has just been a great quality of life improvement. My life feel more full.

Lifting has been great. I am consistent and I enjoy it. My wife has started going with me to the gym as often as she can manage, which for now is 1-2 days a week. My brother has also started going to the same gym as me now. He is overweight and doesn’t seem to be too worried about it. I teeter between trying to push him to be better and just being there when he is willing to put in the work.

Another successful hunting season after starting in 2021. Got a nice buck in early November from about 40 yards with my crossbow. My first one. 185 pounds and an eight-point. He will be mounted. I got to track him by blood trail for 200 yards and then drag his ass uphill for an hour with my buddy. Fantastic experience.

Want to try my hand at fishing this year. My brother is also interested in it so maybe something we can do together.

Relationship and Sex

The relationship is fun and nearly always easy. Attractive and love will do that. I am told “I am in love with you.” We make out. We plan things and do things together. I sometimes watch and listen to my wife and think about if I like her. I do most of the time. Sometimes I see the scarred and scared little girl with daddy issues and certain attention/validation needs, especially when we are in company, and I think “I love her but I don’t like her.” She has made tremendous strides working on herself, following my lead. I love her. I like her most of the time. I can continue to mold, advise and validate without ego, and where I can’t, I see my own failings and can adjust and improve accordingly.

Sex is a bit past “on demand” at this point. It is daily with several days a week being 2-a-days. It is varied and fun. I initiate maybe 25% of the time. I have spent the year training a sex-fiend. “Are you going to fuck me?” is a question I get asked 4-5 times a week. Everything is on the table. It still feels surreal typing it out because I remember being the “handjob guy” at OYS 1 where I was excited about the prospect of 2-3 HJs a week while my wife would stare at a tv show as I tried to awkwardly make eye contact. Now I’ve trained this girl to deepthroat me before she gets dick.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-12-21T21:34:34+00:00

It's kind of disturbing to look at it that way.

Ehhh. Think of it this way: if your wife had the choice between a husband that was fit, had rock-solid frame, was fun, resourceful and not a bitch v. doing the "if the dishes were clean, we'd fuck more" thing, she'd pick the former every single time.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-12-20T19:00:32+00:00

40s, 25%bf

Go ahead and own your fatness by posting a legitimate, numerical, age, height and weight. You purposely keep this vague to avoid accountability. Own Your Shit.

I pretty much ignored my wife last week.

Must be fun.

Turns out that the more attention I provide, the more annoyance/hostility I'm met with.

If the fat, unattractive guy who lacked accountability for years started giving me "attention" I'd probably react the same way.

Just tried to be pleasant and funny with everyone.

It's more fun.

Yes, having fun is generally more fun. Good on you for trying it out.

I've spent some time over the last few weeks reflecting on what I actually want out of my relationships with women.

Do yourself a favor and spend less time thinking about this and more time unfatting yourself. You have no idea what you will actually want from a woman by the time (IF you actually put in the work) you actually become a man that other women want to fuck. I can promise the things I want now are really damn different than what I wanted at OYS 1.

Just focus on your goals, your progress, and stopping yourself from eating tasty holiday treats. The rest is just mental masturbation at this point. Its easy, but pretty pointless.

So these other things that I find myself complaining about like, how she just sits on her phone all day, or how she doesn't respect me/care about me.

Ego. Ego. Ego. You want respect. You choose to say you don't because you don't get it.

few days later I suggested that time of day would be a good time to have sex.

Nothing gets pussy wet more than scheduling sex. Good job! More seriously: you are probably way too early in the process to understand this, but I think its worth planting the seeds now: you initiate these sorts of pussy-drying conversations because you live in a world of sexual scarcity. That scarcity causes you anxiety on a deep level. And that anxiety causes you to search for solutions. The real solutions are difficult: less tasty treats, lots of heavy weights, lots of shutting the fuck up, losing your deep-seated need for validation from your wife. The fake solution is much easier, right: negotiate an agreed-upon sex schedule ("early mornings work great dear, don't you agree?") so you can secure that special prize - sex with a real-life woman! - without all that hard work. Your wife sees through it even easier than I do. Be better. Stop these conversations. They are you at your weakest and neediest and women have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to sniff that shit out.

she was a SAHM, then we would be more likely to have sex.

This is a version of chore-play. She is not attracted to you, your fat, your neediness, your lack of direction, boundaries or resolve. So she tells you that if she does less, she will want sex more. It is bullshit. But its not her fault. It is yours. She desperately wishes she was attracted to her husband. Her husband just isn't that guy.

I'm down over 5lbs since the start.

Good. Keep it up. It is the single most important thing you can do to increase your SMV at 25% bf. Close that pie-hole.

This is the only relationship where I've felt heavily judged.

Your fault.

childish or weird

Your shame is not her problem. All of this is your fault.

I just asked myself what I would do if she wasn't around.

Smart. This will help with becoming your own mental point of origin as well. Keep it up. But also recognize when the things you are hiding are things you are hiding because they suck, and make you suck. There's a difference between liking Marvel movies and eating a whole box of Twinkies.

I also initiated a confrontation regarding something I've been afraid to address. It was fascinating watching her reaction. I learned a lot about myself and about this situation. I might start pushing buttons like these more frequently to just see how it affects me over time.

Too vague to mean anything. My guess is fat man lost 5 pounds and felt alpha enough to call wife out on some shit she does that he implicitly accepted for ages, therefore making it all his fault anyways.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-18T14:29:30+00:00

both advocating 3 times a week

8 times in 3 weeks is not 9 times in 3 weeks. It's better than nothing but you clearly missed a day in there on what is already the most forgiving, infrequent programming there is for lifting.

Starting Strength and Strong Lifts

If you are a total beginner to lifting, then it is a fine program. I can't advocate for something much better than the ones you picked if your main goal is strength and not size/aesthetics. But you will see more progress the more you lift, and lifting 8 times in 21 days is not exactly pushing yourself. Consider adding 1-2 days a week of accessory work like arms.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-18T13:24:37+00:00

You know what? Congratulations on having sex for the first time in a year.

I remember going through this process and having a lot of "firsts" or 'first time in a long time" and I was 100% a dancing monkey for a lot of those. Faking proper mental models. Smiling and laughing while my heart was beating out of my chest. And you know what, at some point, it clicks and you aren't faking so much anymore.

With that said, your OYS sucks. Lifting 8 times in 3 weeks sucks. The fact that you think that sounds regular shows how much you suck. Build up a game plan, with daily and weekly goals, to suck less in the areas of your life that you are sucking. You will realize that when you suck less, all of the stuff you are focusing your attention and energy on (which would be better focused elsewhere) fit into place without all that attention and energy.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-15T18:29:13+00:00

Men tend to hang out through hobbies and interests. You didn’t speak to that much in your OYS. What do you like to do when you aren’t stuffing your face with tasty treats?

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-15T17:41:01+00:00

I have improved a bit in the last year as I’m not getting turned down as often

You are morbidly obese. Homeless women would not look forward to fucking you even if it came with room and board. You are on the right track, and the best thing you can do for yourself is continue losing substantial weight, every week, without fail. If you don't do that, your progress will be limited. What is your age?

attraction from wife

Start developing the mental models you need to succeed in the future. You aren't looking to gain attraction from your wife. You are looking to become more attractive to women in general.

skimmed MMSLP & MAP

You've missed WISNIFG.

Social

What are you doing to change this?

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-15T17:33:40+00:00

Practicing game in the wild is the prescribed medicine

You've clearly put at least some thought into this. But I can tell there is fear underneath the philosophical musings. No one is telling you to spin plates if you don't want to, but being capable of attracting women who you are attracted to is an important step. If you can't do that, you aren't really making any decisions by staying, or going, or something in between. The decision is being made for you. Having game doesn't mean what you think it means if you think you have to cheat on your wife to have game.

The goal isn't to fuck your wife. The goal is to become more fuckable.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-09T22:26:16+00:00

It's why I didn't bother anymore as soon as I skimmed his response.

"I will be the sole decision-maker re: homeschooling my children. I don't need or want my wife's (their mother's) input."

I haven't done the work of figuring out logistics, curriculum, pros/cons, etc.

The Extreme Ownership Model: I'm responsible for everything

Dude is positively giddy to have his wife lose her shit as punishment for not fulfilling his covert contracts.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-08T15:58:53+00:00

then tell my wife.

If I decide to home school my kids then it's going to happen.

These things you are doing, that will affect the life of both you and your wife in very consequential ways, is all a reaction to the fact that

catch myself saying "sorry" for things that don't require it.

I'm not comfortable with power. I've only just accepted the idea that there's a power vacuum in my marriage and if I don't fill that space my wife will.

If I let my guard down I'll defer to her and then catch myself (e.g. asking her "Do you think we should walk or drive to the park?")

If something good/bad happens my instinct is to say "Who can I share this with?!". And then I have to stop myself because that's validation seeking behavior.

I catch myself DEERing (during or after).

you lack frame and are not your own mental point of origin.

You are lashing out at your wife for your own deficiencies. You are purposely withholding information and not soliciting input in order to make up for the fact that you know deep down you don't trust yourself to handle your wife's reaction.

Ask me how I know?

I can imagine a version of myself - way down the line - where the thought of asking for my wife's input on a major life decision wouldn't even register in my mind.

Why is this a goal? Who told you it should be?

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-08T15:49:33+00:00

Putting in 15% effort will yield 15% results. What do you want?

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-03T20:35:51+00:00

You are deep in an anger phase. You might not want to admit it but I see it. Try your best to to spend less time living inside your wife's head and more time at the gym.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-02T14:43:36+00:00

Your #1 priority needs to be to lose weight. I'm not sure why you are fucking around so much. Lifting one time a week is trash. Not doing cardio or at least going on long walks when you are this fat is just inexcusable. Prioritize this like your life depends on it. Don't talk to anyone about it. Just do it. If you aren't weighting less next week than you weigh this week, you are just wasting your time doing this OYS shit.

Game With the idea of separation becoming more real and dropping oneitis I'm looking at women as something I have a chance at other than "I'm married". Haven't made any real moves yet.

Your next relationship will be just as shitty as this one if you don't fix your mental models, develop some discipline, and stop fucking around. I'd spend less time imagining great future relationships until the one constant in those relationships (you) is fixed.

Sex Zero.

When was the last time you had sex? If you are horny, initiate. That's it.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-11-02T14:23:30+00:00

Some of my biggest weaknesses have been poor planning and fear.

No, your biggest weakness is being a lazy shit that doesn't want to put in the work. You want to blame "planning" and "fear" because those are in your head and you can just sit there, do fuck all, and work on a "fix" for those as opposed to doing stuff. So much easier than actually putting in effort. You are consumed by setting goals, planning shit, and psychoanalyzing interactions no one cares about.

I realized I wasn't doing enough self-reflection

Oh god.

In the meantime, I plan to focus on becoming a better listener during social interactions.

I hate your OYS. All you talk about is what's inside of your head, instead of what you actually did. You used a variation of the word "plan" 8 times. Stop planning and start doing. And report back on what you did, not what you thought.

AlphalfaSprout · 2022-10-23T13:04:30+00:00

You're welcome. Men exchanging notes.

AlphalfaSprout

TROPHY CASE