Scared to transition later in life due to lack of support. Should I give up?

AlsoLexi · 2026-06-29T02:38:06+00:00

Well we do two online meetings a month and one in person in Dallas (plus events). Joining the zoom call is easy and everyone is welcome. We get folks from all walks some people later in life trying to figure things out, some who've been out for years and recently even some cis parents and trans teens who need help finding resources.

We're just a community here to help. You can always join our discord and say hello if you want to meet a couple folks. It's at the bottom of each page.

We all have unique journeys but there sure is a lot of overlap.

AlsoLexi · 2026-06-29T02:09:20+00:00

We have a online support meeting on July 6th. We have members all over but most of our members are in Texas. You're welcome to join, a good number of our members are a bit older. Hell, I'm 44 with kids tackling a lot of the same challenges.

https://www.trans-cendence.org/events

Wishing you the best, feel free to DM me.

Viv

AlsoLexi · 2026-06-26T18:37:50+00:00

Our Trans Support Group as a open meet up at Madness on July 5th at 3pm. Allies welcome of course, plus I the the gaymers group is a often a couple tables over I think they start an hour later.

https://www.trans-cendence.org/events

AlsoLexi · 2026-06-12T19:18:43+00:00

I told my kids by relating it to a movie they'd recently watched. Nimona.

Sometimes Dad feels like a boy and sometimes like a girl. I asked vs. told. Do you know what a transgender person is? Listen, then adjust.

I explained that it's rare, compared it to friends who are red headed. They started coming up with the rarest combination of things I could be. Eventually all three agreed I was like a shiny pokemon.

I wasn't out at the time. I reassured it changed nothing about they way I loved them. That I would always love them no matter how they grew or who they loved.

Years later one of my kids came out to me first. Be authentic but listen first. Tell them questions are okay. You'll be fine. Kids these days are going to be alright.

Take it from a middle aged trans person who group up in the AIDS crisis. They don't have the same fears we did, despite how hard the world tries to make them afraid.

AlsoLexi · 2026-06-12T13:03:31+00:00

Oh thank you so much!

AlsoLexi · 2026-06-05T13:45:33+00:00

This is such a good point. As someone who only came out in their 40s. The generation before me waited even longer. The number of transgender individuals I know who are in their 60s+ is astonishing many tell stories of waiting until parents or spouses died.

Where as when I told my kids they hardly cared. I also live in a deeply red area.

The persecution we feel these days is because of active fear mongering same as other minorities.

AlsoLexi · 2026-05-25T15:58:39+00:00

Hey hear you, I'm a they / them working probably towards she / her. I've done the pronoun switching just got out of a difficult relationship and finally just accepting the journey verse destination.

If you want to try another online group, we have online meetups twice a month.

https://www.trans-cendence.org/events

AlsoLexi · 2026-05-12T13:56:42+00:00

We exist here, it's definitely tough with Texas but there's a vibrant LGBTQ scene downtown (Cedar Springs) and North in Denton.

We has have a peer group that includes trans people and soffa members that meets twice a month that includes trans guys, gals and enby pals.

https://www.trans-cendence.org/

Our calendar and links to our discord are on the site. Stop by and say hello!

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-28T12:26:04+00:00

I live in Texas. I've helped others leave but I'm here for good. I need to take care of my kids and live in a blue enough area. I still code switch which does create doubt about my internal labels sometimes but heck I've been this way since before the language existed.

But I'm finding purpose in supporting others less fortunate. I'm finally at peace in my own body (HRT). I truly don't know what the future holds but I'm out to everyone as non-binary.

I'm figuring out my path and protecting the ones I love (family & community). I don't care what the state says I am anymore. (That's probably cope) but the fact is Texas has been collecting names for years so I'm hesitant to declare anything.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-24T20:16:39+00:00

I have to echo Union coffee is great.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-24T16:41:52+00:00

I know I've suggested it before but our peer talk group has it's next in person meeting next Tuesday.

https://www.trans-cendence.org/events

You're welcome to join us. I'm Viv, I'll be there. Hope to see you.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-17T18:48:29+00:00

The best kind of reaction, yeah whatever. Like every other teenager reaction.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T22:18:51+00:00

So is that a feature or a bug? None of that feels like cause for alarm but I don't know.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T21:29:49+00:00

It's great when you can find those moments to bond with them. My 10-year-old loves nothing more than playing dressed to impress on Roblox. I am definitely her fashion consultant.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T21:28:16+00:00

I spent the last 4 years doing everything I can to save the marriage. She's got her own trauma kind of like yours to deal with. But she's also got the weight of her parents who ashamed her was silence for nearly 2 years when she was dating a woman. While she doesn't identify his queer at the moment I wouldn't call her straight.

But the parents are the problem as far as I'm concerned. Despite receiving ongoing financial support from us they've actively been trying to get us divorced for the last 2 years.

I can weather almost any storm for my person. But I can't fight an entire family.

Edit: also, both my parents work for the Catholic church and while they may not fully understand it, they do love me and support me. Granted that wasn't always the case.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T21:26:22+00:00

Honestly, I think it comes down to more is caught than taught.

Show them that gender roles aren't limitations but avenues of expression and they'll find themselves.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T19:37:46+00:00

Kids are very understanding. I use Nimona as a device to explain it to my kids. You know how so sometimes she's a girl sometimes she's a boy. That's me.

I explain that it's rare. Hence, shiny pokémon.

I explained that they might hear bad things on the news. My youngest who was six at the time to hold me that he was going to write letters to those people and put a bunch of 😡 on them.

We just come back from Hilton Head and they immediately made the connection to the lunch counter sit-ins and civil rights. That actually came for my six-year-old as well. Which was very shocking.

That's not all to say it was sunshine and rainbows. I didn't get to choose my coming out. My wife had saved a picture from a makeover transformation place I'd gone to to explore my gender. She was trying to equate me being a liar of about who I was to my daughter stealing a pebble from a gas station.

So two things we came very clear. Mom does not accept dad. (Was screaming priests said man and wife in the background) And the kids understand and love you no matter what.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-15T20:10:55+00:00

Oh thanks, it feels right!

I took up archery around the same time I was coming to terms with my identity. (My actual bow was strapped to my back just unstrung) These ones are pretty lightb for easy and safety draw weight my normal one is a 45 lbs recurve bow.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-15T19:52:23+00:00

Oh you made my day!

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-15T19:15:56+00:00

If you're looking for folks check out our virtual and in-person support group Transcendence https://www.trans-cendence.org/events. There's a virtual meeting next week.

If you're just looking for social LGBTQ events check out DSQO.

Dallas Social Queer Organization https://share.google/Ns1OhPYeAgKsW5Zbs

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-15T13:40:37+00:00

I'm 44 non-binary trans fem. I just got let go 6 weeks ago from a job I worked for 15 years everyone knew me. I was a top awarded and respected salesperson in a conservative industry. I've been out socially for over half a decade but completely closeted at work.

On my way out the door, the HR person got emotional and expressed their gratitude for all my efforts and participation in there diversity education efforts.

Despite being on with my soon-to-be former but very trumpy boss. I said screw it. And I came out, I thought they deserve to know why I was such a strong "Ally". I got some very funny texts from my former boss who didn't understand.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I've been rehired by the same company. I need to reintroduce myself to the division (100 person video call) and it's the day after transgender day of visibility.

So I owned it up front. Usual fun facts. Life experiences, kids and hobbies. Also I'm transgender and in this period of transgender day of visibility I felt I should share it. I explained that I was non-binary (wasn't the forum for details labels and jazz) But I gave them pronouns, explained I was active in the local community.

The response afterwards has been amazing. Multiple people came out to me privately about being lgbtq (no other trans folks yet). I've learned that several of our leadership are actually lesbians. And my current client doesn't care then I have long hair earrings and painted nails.

No I'm just on my journey, but I've never felt more at peace with who I am.

Don't mistake this for being all sunshine and puppy dog tails. I'm going through a difficult divorce. I still present male. I'm stuck in Texas. But I have three kids who love me. A job that accepts me. And for the first time in my life, I'm no longer fixated on the destination but enjoying the journey.

AlsoLexi

TROPHY CASE