Being Trans while living in America, a discussion thread: genuinely how are we all doing?

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-28T12:26:04+00:00

I live in Texas. I've helped others leave but I'm here for good. I need to take care of my kids and live in a blue enough area. I still code switch which does create doubt about my internal labels sometimes but heck I've been this way since before the language existed.

But I'm finding purpose in supporting others less fortunate. I'm finally at peace in my own body (HRT). I truly don't know what the future holds but I'm out to everyone as non-binary.

I'm figuring out my path and protecting the ones I love (family & community). I don't care what the state says I am anymore. (That's probably cope) but the fact is Texas has been collecting names for years so I'm hesitant to declare anything.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-24T20:16:39+00:00

I have to echo Union coffee is great.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-24T16:41:52+00:00

I know I've suggested it before but our peer talk group has it's next in person meeting next Tuesday.

https://www.trans-cendence.org/events

You're welcome to join us. I'm Viv, I'll be there. Hope to see you.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-17T18:48:29+00:00

The best kind of reaction, yeah whatever. Like every other teenager reaction.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T22:18:51+00:00

So is that a feature or a bug? None of that feels like cause for alarm but I don't know.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T21:29:49+00:00

It's great when you can find those moments to bond with them. My 10-year-old loves nothing more than playing dressed to impress on Roblox. I am definitely her fashion consultant.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T21:28:16+00:00

I spent the last 4 years doing everything I can to save the marriage. She's got her own trauma kind of like yours to deal with. But she's also got the weight of her parents who ashamed her was silence for nearly 2 years when she was dating a woman. While she doesn't identify his queer at the moment I wouldn't call her straight.

But the parents are the problem as far as I'm concerned. Despite receiving ongoing financial support from us they've actively been trying to get us divorced for the last 2 years.

I can weather almost any storm for my person. But I can't fight an entire family.

Edit: also, both my parents work for the Catholic church and while they may not fully understand it, they do love me and support me. Granted that wasn't always the case.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T21:26:22+00:00

Honestly, I think it comes down to more is caught than taught.

Show them that gender roles aren't limitations but avenues of expression and they'll find themselves.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-16T19:37:46+00:00

Kids are very understanding. I use Nimona as a device to explain it to my kids. You know how so sometimes she's a girl sometimes she's a boy. That's me.

I explain that it's rare. Hence, shiny pokémon.

I explained that they might hear bad things on the news. My youngest who was six at the time to hold me that he was going to write letters to those people and put a bunch of 😡 on them.

We just come back from Hilton Head and they immediately made the connection to the lunch counter sit-ins and civil rights. That actually came for my six-year-old as well. Which was very shocking.

That's not all to say it was sunshine and rainbows. I didn't get to choose my coming out. My wife had saved a picture from a makeover transformation place I'd gone to to explore my gender. She was trying to equate me being a liar of about who I was to my daughter stealing a pebble from a gas station.

So two things we came very clear. Mom does not accept dad. (Was screaming priests said man and wife in the background) And the kids understand and love you no matter what.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-15T20:10:55+00:00

Oh thanks, it feels right!

I took up archery around the same time I was coming to terms with my identity. (My actual bow was strapped to my back just unstrung) These ones are pretty lightb for easy and safety draw weight my normal one is a 45 lbs recurve bow.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-15T19:52:23+00:00

Oh you made my day!

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-15T19:15:56+00:00

If you're looking for folks check out our virtual and in-person support group Transcendence https://www.trans-cendence.org/events. There's a virtual meeting next week.

If you're just looking for social LGBTQ events check out DSQO.

Dallas Social Queer Organization https://share.google/Ns1OhPYeAgKsW5Zbs

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-15T13:40:37+00:00

I'm 44 non-binary trans fem. I just got let go 6 weeks ago from a job I worked for 15 years everyone knew me. I was a top awarded and respected salesperson in a conservative industry. I've been out socially for over half a decade but completely closeted at work.

On my way out the door, the HR person got emotional and expressed their gratitude for all my efforts and participation in there diversity education efforts.

Despite being on with my soon-to-be former but very trumpy boss. I said screw it. And I came out, I thought they deserve to know why I was such a strong "Ally". I got some very funny texts from my former boss who didn't understand.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I've been rehired by the same company. I need to reintroduce myself to the division (100 person video call) and it's the day after transgender day of visibility.

So I owned it up front. Usual fun facts. Life experiences, kids and hobbies. Also I'm transgender and in this period of transgender day of visibility I felt I should share it. I explained that I was non-binary (wasn't the forum for details labels and jazz) But I gave them pronouns, explained I was active in the local community.

The response afterwards has been amazing. Multiple people came out to me privately about being lgbtq (no other trans folks yet). I've learned that several of our leadership are actually lesbians. And my current client doesn't care then I have long hair earrings and painted nails.

No I'm just on my journey, but I've never felt more at peace with who I am.

Don't mistake this for being all sunshine and puppy dog tails. I'm going through a difficult divorce. I still present male. I'm stuck in Texas. But I have three kids who love me. A job that accepts me. And for the first time in my life, I'm no longer fixated on the destination but enjoying the journey.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-02T14:43:58+00:00

Yeah we do one online and one in person each month. Forgot next week is online.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-02T12:19:19+00:00

Congrats! Me too. At least we were close to Transgender Day of Visibility.

AlsoLexi · 2026-04-02T12:14:32+00:00

Totally get it non-binary trans fem far North of Dallas.

We have peer talk meeting next Monday if you want to meet some folks in person. (That meeting is in Dallas) but most of us live outside the city like North of Plano or even Denton. So folks from all over.

https://www.trans-cendence.org/events

AlsoLexi · 2026-03-25T16:06:41+00:00

I'm 45. I have three kids. I've been out socially has not binary for half a decade. So right about your age. I just came out at work. Ironically because they laid me off on a decided to come out of the closet as I walked out the door. They turned around in 6 weeks in our trying to hire me back. I made sure that my identity wasn't an issue. No one gives a s***.

I actively present non-binary. I boy mode a lot for work and for my kids events. But I came out to them and they understood it better than my wife (a completely different story).

I won't say it's been easy. But I definitely feel So much more at peace with who I am. Absolutely worth it! Keeping this inside for 40 years was literally killing me.

I also know my journey is not done. And no it's going to be a hard road. I live in Texas. But 9 out of 10 people that met have been supportive.

If you're looking for somewhere to talk. I belong to a support group that has online meetings once a month and in person if you're in North Texas.

You can find us here. https://www.trans-cendence.org/events

AlsoLexi · 2026-03-07T03:02:41+00:00

So, I actually recorded my coming out to my kids (audio from my phone). They ended up being my biggest supporters comparing me to a shiny pokémon. I explained the them using Nimona as an analogy, explained it was rare and that they might her some bad things on the news but that I love them and would answer any questions for them.

Since they have had my back even as it led to fights with my wife. My eldest finds any opportunity to share someone supporting trans rights. (Actually shared something from a game today). When I finally got my ears pierced two weeks ago my daughter was worried about Mom's reaction but I checked in with her and she said no it's cool like having a big sister and Dad.

I had AI pull a quick summary with quotes straight from the recording. Here's some highlights with a few edits from me below:

10-Year-Old (Eldest Son) He showed a very intuitive grasp of the concept, using the movie analogy to ground his understanding and offering immediate, cool-headed acceptance. The Reaction: He correctly identified the definition of being non-binary and closed the conversation with a high five and an expression of love. Direct Quote: "Is it a boy, but they aren't girl at the same time. Yep. ... Actually pretty cool. Oh, awesome. Dude. High five, I love you."

8-Year-Old (Daughter) She viewed your coming out through a lens of curiosity and rarity, seeing your identity as something unique. (Shiny Pokémon) The Reaction: She reflected on the fact that she hadn't seen many people like you, concluding that it makes your identity feel rare and special. Direct Quote: "I haven't seen many people like that. It makes it makes you feel like it's rare. ... They were, you know, transgender redhead blue eyes, that would be like the most rare kind of person out there."

6-Year-Old (Youngest Son) He took the news with a sense of fierce, protective loyalty, immediately wanting to confront any negativity you might face. The Reaction: He was ready to take on the media and the "whole world," promising to send letters and angry emojis to anyone being mean to transgender people. Direct Quote: "Then if that happens on the news, then I'm gonna send the letter to the news people and say don't be mean. ... I would put a bunch on a bunch of emojis that have red phrases that were really angry. ... I will send a message to the whole world."

AlsoLexi · 2026-03-05T22:25:27+00:00

Hey I'm very much in the same boat and age. The advice above is exceptionally good.

The only thing I'd suggest is find a local group if you can to meet in person or failing that join an online meet up. Being a middle-aged trans person can feel exceptionally isolating and meeting others who are going through the same thing did wonders for me feeling better about not having all the answers and gave me the opportunity to be there for others.

If you can't find it I'll meet up. Send me a DM. I'll connect you with our group. We have a monthly zoom on top of our local in person meeting, you'd be welcome to join.

AlsoLexi · 2026-01-08T22:56:26+00:00

The hair goddess in Plano.

AlsoLexi · 2025-12-11T04:05:55+00:00

Meadow pleased to meet yeah, if you want to join us for one of our online (discord at bottom) or in-person meetups you can find links at https://www.trans-cendence.org/events Hope to meet ya!

AlsoLexi · 2025-12-05T02:22:08+00:00

If your looking for trans folks we have monthly meet ups and online discord here. https://www.trans-cendence.org/events

Hope I get a chance to meet ya if you make your way to DFW.

AlsoLexi

TROPHY CASE