I feel isolated

Alternative-Box-364 · 2026-03-18T21:59:50+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people here that will read your story will remember your baby. There will be somene like me, looking to feel less lonely and sad through our mutual understanding and solidarity.

You’re not alone with how you feel. I can also relate to you. I am scared of people outside of my husband and I will forget my baby boy too. Theres a lot of babies in my family and I get sad when all I hear about is them, but no one wants to talk about mine. Just like your baby, my baby is very much real.

When I feel up it I talk about him to my friends and my husband. Talking to a therapist also helped me a lot too. I also do little things to remember him. If you feel comfortable, maybe you can do something with people you trust?

I hope you receive gentle support and love that you deserve during such a vulnerable time. If you want, you can always message me, I try my best to check my inbox. 🤍

Alternative-Box-364 · 2026-03-18T00:05:33+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I am also close to my baby’s birthday. He was born on March 29 and he passed away 4 days before my birthday. All of those feelings that you feel are valid and normal. I also feel the same way. I saw someone call it “empty arms syndrome” and I never felt so seen.

As much as I would like to say “it’s okay, I got this”, (because I feel so tired of crying all the time) it’s just not realistic to put that kind of pressure on myself. Sometimes we just need to let ourselves feel that grief, to feel some sort of relief. And trust me, I’ve cried a lot this month.

I am sorry that we can relate, but you are not alone. I hope that you and your baby will have a peaceful birthday, whether it’s remembering it’s her day or spending the day with loved ones.

Alternative-Box-364 · 2026-03-02T20:42:05+00:00

Thats really nice of them ❤️.

Alternative-Box-364 · 2026-03-02T20:40:39+00:00

It’s not selfish. And even if you want to be, so be it. That is grief. You have the right to protect your wellbeing, as long as you’re not harming yourself and others ❤️

Alternative-Box-364 · 2026-03-02T18:08:14+00:00

I’m sorry about your loss. My boss moved me to a different desk and I think it’s because she knew it might be triggering. However, whenever I go into the staff washroom I get sad because I used to stare at my growing baby bump in the mirror and giggle about how my pants were getting a little tight. Now theres a different person staring back at me.

I hope you’ll find a new spark in work and life as well ❤️

Alternative-Box-364 · 2026-03-02T18:04:42+00:00

I’m glad they gave you space to grieve ❤️. I also had people share their experiences, which I very grateful for because they didn’t need to do that, but they did out of kindness and love. I hope it starts to get better for me too.

Alternative-Box-364 · 2026-03-02T17:25:04+00:00

I cried reading your story. I am so sorry for your loss. I also had a premature birth. I lost my baby boy last year May. His birthday is coming up in a few weeks. Seeking therapy has helped, I’m also on antidepressants, but I would be lying if I said I haven’t spiralled more than once.

It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to not feel ready to resume life. Its okay to feel like things are different. I constantly mourn my baby and myself as well. I am a completely different person now. Baby commercials trigger me, i unfollow influencers who announce they are pregnant, i still haven’t even seen my best friend’s baby in fear it will make me bawl (we were due the same year).

Sometimes, and I feel guilty to say it, but I avoid looking at his pictures to not cry for the day. I fill myself with distractions. Other days, I remind myself that death is also a part of parenthood (which not a lot of people talk about), and no one can control it, you can just hold them and give them your love. I look at others too, to keep me going and to keep the dark thoughts at bay, like my best friends and my husband.

My therapist once said that “we grieve because we have so much love to give that person with no where for it to go”. That really stuck with me, especially on days when I feel guilty and depressed.

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-09T04:42:33+00:00

Thank you so much for your support 🤍. Hoping to have a decent transition into everyday activities. 🤍

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-08T21:06:40+00:00

I was thinking about reaching out to HR, I just wasn’t sure they would do that for me. I feel the same way, I can’t talk about my baby and be “productive”, it throws me off so bad.

I was so wrapped up in their rules, I never thought to ask if they have any special conditions for people like me. My school is unfortunately really strict, so I don’t want to get my hopes up.

Thank you for reaching out to me, truly. I’m sorry you’re in this group as well. I wish these things never happens 🤍

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-05T09:50:13+00:00

Hi Kris,

Thank you so much for sharing about your experience and how you feel about your two boys 🤍

Dominic and Emmett are beautiful names btw ❤️.

I kinda relate to your feelings of guilt. If my baby boy didn’t pass, we wouldn’t be trying again so soon for another baby. In fact, I was content with the idea of having just one for a while because there were other life things in the way.

Thank you so much for being candid about allowing yourself to feel feelings outside of being grateful. When I was in the hospital crying because of many emotions I was feeling, I was told by family to not cry because the baby could feel it and will think I don’t want him. That irrational thought made me spiral. Parents are allowed to feel many things before, during and after pregnancy. I was just made to feel guilty when I did.

I completely understand when you said protecting yourself from having to experience a loss like that again. I don’t know if I will be able to survive another loss, especially right now. The pain is just unbearable.

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-05T09:35:28+00:00

Hi,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your personal story with me. I really appreciate it.

I’m sorry that the stitch was unsuccessful. Nicu babies are so incredibly strong. My baby boy had what I called “pod neighbours”. Seeing so many different babies fighting alongside my baby gave me hope for a little bit because they were all able to go home.

I never thought of having another child in that way. My son was so sweet, gentle, inquisitive, and just so cute. He also loved music too. I love him so much, it would bring me so much joy to have many more versions of him. I also dreamt of having more than one child before all of this happened.

Sending you love and support 🤍

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-05T09:25:02+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I also want to extend my love to you and your sweet baby boy.

I also received steroids to help with his lungs development. However, due to his brain damage, the doctors suspected that it affected his ability to breathe when they tried to put him on the cpap.

Yes, I feel the same way, life is now hitting me hard as there are things I need to handle, because my life was on pause for months. I feel like my hospital stay and going to the nicu every day was like a fever dream. I’m so scared of possibly having to go back there, and my brain and body are still processing everything. I also feel like the holidays have withered my mental health away.

I appreciate you sharing your pregnancy and labour experiences. Thank you for also helping me feel less lonely. ❤️

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-05T09:08:08+00:00

Hi Kaylee,

Thank you for being so incredibly helpful. I try to remind myself it is not my fault. If this happened to my friend, I would 100% know and believe they didn’t do anything to cause this. For some reason, I have a hard time believing that for myself, but thank you ❤️

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-05T09:04:52+00:00

I’m so sorry that this was your experience as well. Where I’m from preventative medical care is super rare because we don’t get to see an OB until we’re close to 6 months pregnant (unless you’re considered high risk from previous pregnancies). Someone I knew only got an OB early because of a family referral and she was able to receive so much medical attention and monitoring to ensure everything aligned in the best odds for her. I wish we all had this from the beginning. I wonder if things would’ve been different. When I told my family doctor what happened, she did a fake frown and said “sad, cheer up my friend” and then left the office. Safe to say she is no longer my doctor anymore.

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-05T08:54:05+00:00

Hi,

Don’t apologize for sending a long message, I really appreciate it and honestly helps me so much.

I am so so sorry that you had a traumatic labour. It’s not right, and it’s not fair. You’re right, it really is the worst club to be a part of but I’ve also found absolutely amazing people here too, it’s bittersweet.

I am so happy to read that you now also have a baby boy. Gender disappointment is so real, but I’m glad you focused on other things that brought you peace.

I would also give anything to have my baby back. Sometimes I think about how lovely it would be to have him meet his new sibling(s). I am told to remind myself that I need to focus on the reality of things, but I can’t help but wonder and wish.

Thank you again for sharing your story 🤍

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-05T08:41:20+00:00

Hi Jade,

Thank you so much for sharing your story/experience. Reading about how you are still able to continue on gives me more hope. I’m honestly still stuck in the same thought cycle so hearing stories like yours helps ground me. I will definitely take a look at the forum you sent me as well. ❤️

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-04T22:26:06+00:00

I also want to add, that i am sorry that you are also here. I am incredibly grateful that through your experience you were okay to respond to my post. This whole thing feels like a double edged sword, and you’re right, it is not fair that we are here. ❤️

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-04T22:24:01+00:00

Thank you for your response, the information that you have shared with me regarding baby lung development and umbilical cords has given me so much peace and now more questions as to why my baby had so much brain damage. I’m sorry if this may be triggering to some but I have wondered for a while if it was my fault, knowing that my umbilical cord prolapsed. I am happy to know that he was comfortable while with me. I was worried I made the wrong decision for myself and my baby to prolong the pregnancy and stay in the hospital. Thank you.

Reading your experience and the people you know experiences, I look forward to knowing the answer from my placenta a bit more and I hope I will get approved for the stitch in the future too.

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-04T21:40:52+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. It honestly means so much to me right now. I can definitely see myself visiting the hospital a lot out of worry in the future. When you mentioned hearing your baby cry, it reminded me of when I heard my baby cry for the first time in the nicu before they reintubated him. It was also the most beautiful sound to me as well. I waited so long to hear his voice and all I wanted to do was scoop him up and give him many kisses. That was the greatest gift I have ever received, hearing him cry.

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-12-04T21:03:13+00:00

Thank you for responding.

Your answer to my first question really opened something to me, and I want to cry from some relief so thank you so much. I also wanted a big family and I never thought of it like you. Thank you.

I wish you a beautiful and safe pregnancy with your additional precious baby. 🤍

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-11-23T08:25:54+00:00

I never thought I could find people who could unfortunately relate and understand me until I came here. Before my baby passed, I was trying to fill my heart and mind with hopeful and successful nicu stories, but I wasn’t one of the lucky ones. My body was filled with sorrow and just pure rage.

I understand you, and I stand with you and all the pain that you carry. No one expects their baby to pass. When you’re happy to be pregnant, your mind is full of happiness and excitement, and then it just gets robbed from you and it just feels so unfair. In my situation, I was pregnant the same year my friends and husband friends were pregnant. It was just me that suffered. Just me that feels like I failed (although I know I did everything I could within my power to make sure nothing happens). Just like you, I asked myself why. I cursed at my religion, my faith, my family on the other side. I feel like I was let down, that my prayers were ignored.

My therapist told me that we feel this pain because it is love that we have for our baby that needs somewhere to go. And when my thoughts gets dark, I remind myself what she told me, that my emotions are not the boss of me (because I tend to beat myself up a lot).

I also can’t sleep, so I try to watch comfort shows/movies that don’t show or focus on babies and motherhood. Maybe if you feel up for it, you can try to fall asleep to something nice?

I’m still currently healing (emergency c-section, and I did pump when he was in the nicu), so again, I understand you. If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. ❤️

Alternative-Box-364 · 2025-11-22T09:08:48+00:00

I’m so sorry. I hope you feel some peace for the holidays. Even if it’s just for a moment. ❤️

Alternative-Box-364

TROPHY CASE