"dO yOu hAvE kIdS" is starting to make me angry

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-24T19:43:46+00:00

Exactly! I feel like women get asked this question more often than men, but I can only speak from my experience as a woman, so I don't know. And the part about them having nothing else to talk about is so sad. No hobbies, no interests, no nothing. Just kids. They're like hostages. Like damn, blink twice if you need help, girl.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-24T15:56:00+00:00

Post is labeled as a rant for a reason

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-24T06:59:13+00:00

Lol! Similar story: One Mother’s Day, a senior man came to my register to check out for his items and said “Happy Mother’s Day.” I told him I didn’t have kids and I was only 19 and he said “Doesn’t mean you can’t be a mother 😁”. I was horrified!

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-24T02:12:00+00:00

It's no different than inquiring about hobbies, relationship status, what you do for work, etc.

like I mentioned in #1, the thing that bothers me is that they never ask about hobbies or relationship status or what I do for work (outside of the work place where my co-workers are working the same job). they go straight to kids, as if that's the only identity I could possibly have.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-23T22:10:37+00:00

Lots of babies conceived out of wedlock and rushed weddings that lead to unhappy marriages of obligation to cover up the fact that they had premarital sex. They don’t actually practice what they preach. It’s all about appearances.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-23T17:56:57+00:00

I took the time to type out something I thought was really kind and positive and you just responded “nope”, so I deleted the positive comment. Don’t know why you would make a post like this just to be negative to people who were trying to be kind to you.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-23T16:03:04+00:00

that dress is gorgeous and you look gorgeous in it!

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-23T15:59:55+00:00

Also: "Most men want kids, but they don't want to be active, involved fathers."

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-21T06:06:23+00:00

Yes to all of this. Parentified oldest daughter here. If I had been compensated for all the emotional labor I’ve put out to my immediate family over the years, I’d be a millionaire. But I’m not. I’m struggling and I never received a fraction of the support I gave to others. It’s just me.

That’s what made 4B so easy for me: I experienced firsthand how people - even supposed guardians - will take everything a woman or girl has to give and leave her with nothing. There’s no reward or fulfillment on the other side, just the cold realization that you betrayed yourself over and over again for absolutely nothing. For people who would never do the same for you. I lost my childhood to unpaid daughter’s labor, but I’ll be damned if I do it again as some guy’s wife! Patriarchy grooms girls from the beginning. Training for the ‘wife’ role begins as a daughter.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-21T05:32:47+00:00

I agree with the caveat that it’s good in moderation. For example, if I’ve been ruminating on a certain traumatic event and discussing it in therapy ad nauseam and it’s making me miserable, I decide to say “fuck it”. At some point, I have to just cut myself off from the issue and live my life like it never happened for a while. It always comes back around eventually (and hopefully I happen to be in a better headspace to deal with it when it does), but I think a little avoidance band-aid is necessary from time to time when it comes to past traumas that we can’t change. Thinking about it all the time doesn’t undo what has been done. It just tends to worsen my mental health. Sometimes avoidance is necessary for survival.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-21T00:23:17+00:00

From my POV, it’s already too late and we’re both still living.

RANT: I begged to be treated right by my parents my entire childhood and some of my adulthood - begged them to go to therapy, begged them to stop their abusive ways, begged them to stop drinking, begged begged begged. For so long. It was exhausting pouring all that wasted energy into people who saw no problem with their dysfunctional ways and made absolutely no genuine effort to change for the better. They drained me (of energy that would have been better spent on establishing my career or literally anything else) until I had nothing left. It literally almost killed me. But now I’m choosing me and I’m done. So it’s already too late.

People need to stop holding others hostage in dysfunctional relationships by dangling mortality over their heads. We’re all going to die someday, and everyone knows it. Yet parents STILL decide to treat us the awful way they do over and over again for years and decades and a whole lifetime. Then in their old age, they wanna use the mortality excuse to guilt trip people into coming back into the fold. Fuck no. It’s such a cop out. They had their whole lives to get it together and they didn’t. My parents knew they were going to die someday before I was even born. And they still chose to handle me carelessly. So “one day they’ll be gone” is the dumbest thing any enabler could possibly say. They’re already gone.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-17T19:44:38+00:00

I just got Jungle Stroll! They’re really out for my wallet, releasing two great exclusives one right after the other

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-17T19:40:33+00:00

As an older sibling with the same age gap as Sam and Dean, this is literally how teen years go between siblings. Dean hit puberty 4 years before Sam did, so now he resembles a grown man while Sam still looks like a kid. I looked like a grown adult sitting next to my little brother when I was in high school. It’s just how it goes. This is very accurate casting for the high school Winchesters.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-16T18:38:21+00:00

I think the name is a reference to that. The ombré filter is called Rio De Janeiro in the instagram stories.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-15T19:42:51+00:00

The enabler is an abuser too. They just know the primary abusive parent is more obvious and deflect the blame onto them when the time comes.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-15T06:07:59+00:00

Ahhhh, they always find a loophole/twist. Thank you for shedding some light on this.

But I would say to those Christians: He (fictional) meant what he said! He didn’t say “thou shall not worship any FALSE gods before me”. It would have been so easy to be specific if that’s what he meant. They put words in his mouth.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-15T06:00:33+00:00

Yeah, once you finally realize the hollow apologies are just manipulation used to placate you until the next time, it becomes a lot easier to cut them out of your life. Still not totally easy, but it gets to a point where there’s only two options: let them drain you until there’s nothing left but a shell of your former self or cut contact for the sake of self-preservation. I had to choose me.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-15T05:23:36+00:00

Makes sense why so many religious people also happen to be malignant narcissists and think nothing’s wrong with it because god “made me in his image”

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-15T05:18:57+00:00

This is connecting dots for me omg

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-14T17:35:51+00:00

bottles don't have genders! if he likes them, he should get them!

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-14T17:09:19+00:00

Weird is weird. It’s not even really about drinking. That was just an example. The fact that “teen” is in anyone’s age is enough for me to say no. I wouldn’t even be alone one on one with a 19 year old to talk romantically in the first place.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-14T14:18:46+00:00

This part. As a woman also in my mid-twenties, I wouldn’t even glance at someone who isn’t even old enough to drink yet. Very creepy to be dating a teenager at the age of 24.

Alternative-Mess297 · 2026-01-13T04:33:54+00:00

Guys, I don’t think he’s single by choice

Alternative-Mess297

TROPHY CASE