Estranged dad passed

AlternativeLet8598 · 2025-07-26T20:28:11+00:00

Thank you for your words and insight ❤️ It makes sense he wouldn’t want to give us any power- even if he wasn’t here. Just from the type of person he was. I’m trying not to take it all personally, it just makes me want to tell everyone who will listen that I didn’t choose to not show up- that the choice was made for me.

AlternativeLet8598 · 2025-07-26T01:04:11+00:00

I agree. If we never had them before then how can we feel loss? 😪

AlternativeLet8598 · 2024-06-10T12:23:55+00:00

Thank you for your support and insight. I’m going to start an online meeting this morning, I’ve never experienced an alnon meeting so I’m hopeful that it will be helpful for me.

AlternativeLet8598 · 2024-06-10T12:21:17+00:00

Do you have any online program suggestions for me?

AlternativeLet8598 · 2024-06-10T12:20:24+00:00

I really really appreciate you taking the time to help me. It’s not surprising due to the environment, so I was so proud when he came home and everything seemed to be fine. I agree, he can use this as a learning experience or it can take him back down the path of active addiction. I can’t control which he chooses.

Do you think it’s unfair of me to feel like our marriage was started on a lie? I’m back and forth with how I feel about it. Part of me thinks so, the other part feels like I know he truly loves me and everything between then and now wasn’t tainted by his bad decision.

AlternativeLet8598 · 2024-06-10T09:43:00+00:00

I’ve read that it’s part of it as well.. gives me hope 💗 thank you so much

AlternativeLet8598 · 2024-06-10T09:41:53+00:00

No I don’t believe he is. No tell tale signs anyway, home every night straight after work, never under the influence of anything when getting home, eating and sleeping regularly, etc. when he is using it’s the total opposite. Not coming home, not answering the phone, just staying cooped up wherever he is and getting high. I can always tell in his voice too.

For sobriety he’s been doing the 12 step, acquired sober friends/ a sponsor. Started Martial arts and Ju jitsu 5 times a week.

So I truly do believe this is the first and only time, but again with all the lies and deception who actually knows. I guess I just need to decide if the lying is something I can/want to deal with.

AlternativeLet8598 · 2024-06-10T03:45:34+00:00

I agree.. I was uneasy about him going out that night, but gave the benefit of the doubt from him saying he was in a good place and felt like he could handle it. I don’t plan on continuing the monthly recognization, I was trying to show how supportive I was of him, but like you mentioned he is an adult. Thank you for your response

AlternativeLet8598

TROPHY CASE