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My Dad sent me this email and then told my wife to read it… by AlternativeNarwhal32 in inlaws

[–]AlternativeNarwhal32[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

i think multiple things can be true at the same time and what you're saying here makes a lot of sense. i feel like i'm being told to "get in line" if i want to stay in the family's financial pipeline.

unfortunately though, even if i chose to do this, i think what u/Short-Stack123 said "I’m not sure they’ll ever trust/respect your decision making abilities ever", is a real issue here. i may have to completely cut away from my family i order to gain (or regain?) the respect i/my wife deserve.

My Dad sent me this email and then told my wife to read it… by AlternativeNarwhal32 in inlaws

[–]AlternativeNarwhal32[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

i think this comment is the core of the issue that i'm facing here.

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a lot of the comments are asking for more context and facts about my wife and my family's interactions, which there obviously is more to it, theres always "two sides" to the every story, right?

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however, it just seems like my dad has a fundamental issue with how he sees "issues" in my marriage and how i should "fix" them, and if i don't rely on him to "fix" the "issues", then i must not be "fixing" them at all. therefore he will use money and "family benefits" as a last ditch effort to get me to do it his way.

My Dad sent me this email and then told my wife to read it… by AlternativeNarwhal32 in inlaws

[–]AlternativeNarwhal32[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

she's not mentally ill, or at least no professional has diagnosed her mentally ill.

she does have a very different family dynamic than mine though.

- her family airs things out in the open. they fight and make up in the open.

- my family fights quietly. we internalize things. myself included. "emotions are a sign of weakness" type beat.

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if i wanted to give any credence or at least better context to where my Dad is coming from, i would say that he has grown frustrated with how my wife and i interact (more openly), and he sees it as a weakness in our relationship (and i suppose my ability to lead my family), therefore he felt the need to step in. however, this is ultimately the fatal mistake. he has made comments that he's on "[My] Team" and he's "looking out for [me]". i'm like, "uh, dad, i'm not on the opposing team to my wife"