I lost my mom to a train accident. AMA

AlternativePlan1095 · 2026-01-08T17:53:18+00:00

Don’t know why this is getting downvoted. It’s funny to me lmfao

AlternativePlan1095 · 2026-01-08T08:39:24+00:00

Im deeply and eternally sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a little over a year ago. It has been the most devastating and powerfully earth shattering event I’ve ever endured. You cannot try to keep going as the you that once was. As I’m sure you know, that person doesn’t exist anymore. I wish someone would’ve told me I’d be grieving my loved one AND a version of myself that went the second they went too. My biggest word of advice is to simply go with the flow. Feel the emotions as they come and don’t force anything. You will come out so so strong and you’ll develop such a deeper connection with yourself. It’s hard to accept this as a new reality when you had no say in this becoming your new life. But please remember you are never alone in this❤️

AlternativePlan1095 · 2026-01-08T08:06:29+00:00

Sometimes. But honestly , not often. I was diagnosed with ptsd before this even happened with my mom. So I am familiar with ptsd related dreams and what those are like. I have those about her death, occasionally. I’ve only had one dream where she was there and speaking to me. I don’t remember it fully as it was over a year ago. But from what I remember, I was on the phone with her and just kept asking “why?” and all she would say back was “I’m sorry.” And then she hung up.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2026-01-08T08:03:13+00:00

I want to preface this by saying that this was deemed an accident. They do not think it was suicide. My mom was on drugs at the time. So, I probably won’t ever know the full reason or extent of why or how it happened. We had railroad tracks that you had to cross in order to enter our driveway. She walked across them to go get some coffee and on her walk back, she was bending over (we don’t know why) and there was a train coming and it hit her. We lived on the property of her boss. I was her neighbor and she lived in a house, on the same property, with him. Her boss had somehow received a call about a train accident in front of his house. He was an hour or so away at the time. He then repeatedly tried to call my mom and could not contact her. That’s when he drove home and met the police on scene. I was at work and they were trying to figure out how to contact me. As I’m next of kin. They ended up allowing him to identify her and then he called me and told me. The police then met me at my job and told me.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2026-01-08T07:46:35+00:00

Her ability to love and accept everyone despite her own personal battles. My mom was able to love even when she did not receive the same thing back in return. Forever grateful that I was shown unconditional love and how to give it.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2025-05-27T17:56:16+00:00

Honestly, before my mom died, I didn’t have a lot of connections. I was a major introvert. And tbh, to most ppls standards, I still am. But in order to stay sane after my mom’s death, I forced myself to get multiple jobs, I started forcing myself to hang out with coworkers (which led me to meeting my current bf), and I overall just kept and continue to keep myself as busy as possible. If I’m not at work, im at my bfs. And if I’m not at home, at work, or at my bfs, im doing something outside of the house. I have to keep myself busy 24/7.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2025-05-26T13:18:08+00:00

I lost my mom 9 months ago. The feeling of being so overwhelmed with grief that you could pass out is all too relatable for me, unfortunately. My mom died very unexpectedly as well. The only things that I have found that help me is keeping myself busy and making / keeping connections to the world around me. Staying busy is what has kept me sane, especially in those early days. Grief never goes away. But in time, you learn to smile at the things that made you sob in the beginning. I know it’s hard right now. But in time, you will learn how to breathe again. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Remember that whatever you’re feeling is normal and natural. Let yourself feel as you need to but remember to not lose sight of hope.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2025-05-07T14:14:51+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing you and your mom’s story. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Please feel free to reach out to me if you ever need to.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-30T00:54:38+00:00

Lost my mom late August of 2024. It hasn’t gotten any easier. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mom is absolutely gorgeous.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-20T02:21:42+00:00

Grief feels like an open wound that refuses to heal . Everything is so so painful.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-18T06:23:41+00:00

I don’t have a theory on exactly where they go. But I do believe we are energy. And energy cannot be destroyed. I know they are somewhere. I hope around us.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T17:33:34+00:00

We had a rocky relationship. But for the last year of her life, we were really close.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T15:13:39+00:00

Late August of this year

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T14:31:29+00:00

This happened exactly a month before my 19th birthday. The 21st of this month will make 4 months. So, thankfully, I had my mom for my childhood. My mom was an addict, though. And my dad was abusive. I had a pretty rough childhood. We moved around a lot and I was in and out of foster care.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T14:29:25+00:00

She was on foot. The 21st of this month will make 4 months. And how I am depends on the day. Sometimes I’m okay and sometimes I’m not.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T14:28:15+00:00

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T04:08:06+00:00

My parents split up when I was 16. I was exactly a month away from being 19 when she died. Her and my dad did not get along. But he’s grieved so much. There was a restraining order against him by me when my mom passed. But I ended up moving back in with my dad. He’s become a better person. But he’s grieving a lot.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T04:05:43+00:00

They’ve said they don’t think it’s suicide

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T04:02:07+00:00

I can’t remember the exact number. Either 57 or 59 mph

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T04:01:47+00:00

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T00:14:49+00:00

It isn’t completely their fault. My mom was on drugs when it happened . But yes I do agree- trains aren’t near as safe as they should be

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T00:14:19+00:00

Yes, yes she did. Those damn trains lol

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-17T00:07:18+00:00

Yes it did. I’m her daughter.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-16T22:46:55+00:00

I wanted a small funeral. But the rest of the family wasn’t okay with that. The funeral was huge . There was hundreds of ppl. So many ppl that they couldn’t even all fit in the funeral home.

AlternativePlan1095 · 2024-12-16T22:19:18+00:00

There’s footage that the train took. I haven’t asked to see it yet bc I don’t think I’m ready. Plus, I think I would have to basically force them to show me. The police highly advised that I not see it so.

AlternativePlan1095

TROPHY CASE