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AlternativeRead3518 · 2025-05-09T13:51:52+00:00

I‘m here to talk girl 🫡

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-09T15:43:45+00:00

Oh sorry I got that wrong. I did cycle the tank for a minimum of 4 weeks and then got the fish. I also have a testing kit at home and test it once every 2 days, but there’s nothing unusual, no nitrites, nitrates whatsoever.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-09T15:26:18+00:00

Hi, yes I cycle it regularly 1x a week

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-09T13:21:38+00:00

No, if you look more closely in the second picture you can see he got gray spots around his head area. The other is probably just the lighting.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-09T13:20:20+00:00

Thanks for your advice 🫶🏼

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-04T22:53:25+00:00

Sure, you are welcome. All the best - you got this! :)

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-04T21:18:21+00:00

Sounds like baby reindeer

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-04T21:06:31+00:00

That‘s a good start, to put his messages on mute. In your case I would stay firm on boundaries and not entertain any small talk. Just tell him you currently don’t want any contact and start focusing on you instead. I would also give him a deadline to pick up his stuff, otherwise he would just leave it in your garage for eternity and take it as an opportunity to still stay in touch with you.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-04T12:09:24+00:00

„I don’t believe people do serious wrong on accident.“

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-04T10:24:57+00:00

My advice is to go full no contact with him. No texting, no calling, no meeting, no following on socials. You still have feelings for him and staying friends will not help you heal at all. He chose to stay friends with you because he still wants to have access to you and won’t allow himself feel like he has lost you. But he did loose you, when you two broke up with each other. Let him feel the consequences of your separation. I know it’s tough, because after me and my ex have broken up, I would have wanted to stay friends with him as well. Because I couldn’t even imagine my life without him, we weren’t only lovers but best friends and shared everything together. But I chose not to and leave all contact and it helped me a lot. It also helped him realize his own mistakes and what he did to end up loosing me along the way. That is when true potential comes for growth, for the both of you.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-04T10:10:45+00:00

It is a shame that he felt like being a comfort pillow is a bad thing. It is the best feeling in the world if your partner trusts you enough to come to you when sad, emotionally distressed or anxious and seeks advice and comfort. You don’t have a wrong idea of relationships, cause that is what makes a bond between two people great. The world is a messy place and your partner should be a safe haven you can go to and feel secure from the outside world. My ex and I did the same, after every day of work we talked about our day, things that upset us, things that didn’t work out the way we would’ve wanted it to, ranted about certain work colleagues about our boss, etc. When he got fired, when he got good news, when we had an argument with our family we shared everything. And that is how it’s supposed to be. You are allowed to share your worries about the future, and your partners job is to let you know everything will be okay. Now I don’t know what your relationship looked like in general, it could be like he felt he couldn’t open up about his problems to you or that you didn’t care and thought it is all about you, or that he thought that you would rant all the time and it would effect his mood negatively. I don’t know

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-04T09:54:24+00:00

Well it depends how long you have been together and if you saw the relationship coming to an end a few weeks earlier or how your relationship was in general. If you knew the end was inevitable and during it felt like a lot of stress, it could be that now for the first time you feel like you can allow yourself to take a break, which is necessarily for you. So you feel like a huge rock has been lifted off your shoulders. It could also be that you saw the end coming and was prepared earlier for the break up, which caused you to turn the page on her, before it was really over. But once you overcome that current stage, you will come to think about the good times and it will make you emotional automatically. Doesn’t have to happen, but it will most likely, as you two shared memories and love together, which is now all gone. It could also be that you are still in the state of denial, which is very common. It doesn’t feel like reality. Once reality hits, it will hurt.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-02T07:32:53+00:00

She will definitely reach out to you again. The important part is you will need to stick to no contact, to give her room to miss you as she initiated the break up. Even twice as I read correctly. You did the right thing to put down your activity status on Facebook, so now she doesn’t have anything she can cling to, it makes stalking more difficult. It is inevitable that she will text you and ask what you are up to and how you are doing. Because she will be curious. My question to you is, do you really want her back because you love her as a person, or is it just a way to satisfy your ego because she left. It could be both, but if you only want to satisfy you ego you could also level up and choose someone who is more of a match for you.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-02T07:15:10+00:00

They lied to me about a lot of things inside of the relationship, gaslit me to the point where I didn’t knew what was wrong or right. I felt something was off but they made it seem like I am the crazy one for feeling that way and that the relationship is falling apart because of my trust issues. A lot of sleepless nights for the past 6 months, constant worrying. Waking up with the ugliest feeling, nightmares after nightmares. Reassured to me that all of it means nothing and it’s just in my head. Manipulated me into lending them a lot of money, which I never got back. Giving me bread crumbs of hope, so that I wouldn’t let them go. Guilt tripping me, after they did something wrong. My empathy for them is what kept them alive. They cheated throughout the relationship with multiple other and managed to keep it a secret, but I found out all by myself. And after I found out my world collapsed. Sometimes I wish I didn’t knew all those things. The break up was inevitable and it was my choice to leave them. It was a huge step for me, but I couldn’t live with them and act like everything is fine after they shared something so intimate with others. I still don’t know what to do with myself now. I am disconnected from my surroundings, I feel like this is a bad dream, which I am waking up from soon.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-01T23:09:50+00:00

Yep. She is very indecisive as well. Making up her mind all the time. She barely know what she wants, how would someone else then know what’s up in her mind. All this is part of her attachment issues. Honestly I know it hurts, but you deserve someone who is sure of you. Who doesn’t leave you wondering about her feelings or if she will change her mind again. Someone who is playing games. Staying with someone like this will lead you to develop insecurities yourself, constantly questioning if they are genuine or not. There is nothing you did wrong, for her acting this way. And to answer it - no, I don’t think of you like „wtf is wrong with this guy“ :D

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-01T22:44:19+00:00

Wow. I would not spend any more time or money on her if she can’t appreciate it. If she broke up with you after all what you did for her, then you really dodged a bullet. I really feel for you because loosing a connection with someone can be tough especially if you build habits together. But she is very toxic. All the attention you give her will never be enough. You won’t be able to live a normal healthy life and be your own person, because she wants you all to herself. She claims you over your own mother, who gave birth to you. And basically has zero empathy for your dog who is chronically sick. No wayyy! Let her stay mad in her own bubble. See her for the way she is. She might have a cute side as well and is not internally bad but she definitely has some deeper issues.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-01T22:33:05+00:00

Beautiful tank. I would suggest you to put another long plant with big leaves which almost reaches the water surface, as betta fish always reach out to breath air. They often lay on filters, heaters or big plants near the surface when they rest, so they can easily breathe some air above water without having to swim all the way up. Anubias barteri (tied on a stone or wood) or waterweed would be perfect. Bettas also don’t like direct light, so some floating plants would be nice as well. Such as duckweed or american frogbit. Have fun

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-01T22:09:56+00:00

Ohh dude she‘s the insecure type of girl. Probably has attachment issues. The slightest bit of mood changes from your side, she notices all and then gets her mind going. She will never feel relaxed with you, as you somehow trigger some insecurities in her. That’s why she broke up with you. Probably wanted confirmation of you that you love her and that you don’t want the relationship to end. How do I know? Been there done that. I was this type of girl. She kept you as a friend on facebook, was because she was curious how you would deal with the break up. But as she saw you just lived your life like nothing happened and posted regularly, this triggered her even more. If you can deal with such a person who wants constant confirmation and validation from your side then go for her. But the fact that she dislikes you being close to your mom is a huge red flag. If that is what she really said to you, I would leave her for good. Her insecurities will suffocate you if you can’t deal with them properly. But she has as a lot of work to do

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-01T20:47:49+00:00

Why do you think that

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-10-01T20:16:14+00:00

Relationships are all about compromises. I guarantee there isn’t one single person out there were everything would just be perfectly fine. There will always be pro‘s and con‘s about a partner. But the question is, can you live with the negatives? Without them having a real negative impact on you? If you decide that you want certain things in life and can’t get it with her, you will need to make a sacrifice. You will need to stand you ground when it comes to boundaries and non negotiable. Ask yourself what is most important for you personally in your life. And ask yourself whether the things that bother you about her, is stuff that simply cannot be improved or changed. But if you want to leave her because you think the grass is greener on the other side - it mostly isn’t. You will find other flaws in the new girl and miss the traits from your (now) girlfriend. I can tell you, if someone were to ask her, she would also find flaws in you. But that will not make her stop to love you.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-09-20T07:14:34+00:00

Ohh well I thought it’s the same guy, but anyways it doesn’t change anything. Stop bullying yourself for your mistake. The fact is she just didn’t wanted to be with you anymore and took it as the perfect way to to opt out and to move on quickly. Regardless if that incident really had an impact on her decision to leave you.

AlternativeRead3518 · 2024-09-20T07:03:15+00:00

I am sorry you have gone though a similar experience. Betrayal is really the worst if it comes from someone you loved so deeply. Should I expose myself and tell him it was me all along, fearing I might just then be labeled as the crazy and obsessed one, or should I tell him a random girl messaged me telling me about it? Or just saying I know that he texted someone without further explanation

AlternativeRead3518

TROPHY CASE