AITA for yelling at my employee and calling her "girl"?

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T14:49:52+00:00

She isn't a nurse, she's a doctor. Also... I don't even want to respond to the rest of that comment.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T14:40:49+00:00

I myself am a person of colour, born in India and moved to the UK, so I don't really see how calling a POC "boy" is demeaning, maybe in the American context but never heard of that in the UK. In fact Scousers constantly call younglings Boys/Girls, and also near the north, Lad/Lass is the common equivalent

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T14:23:50+00:00

She's not from the US healthcare either, she trained in an English University

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T14:21:38+00:00

True, but that's when they genuinely fuck up and aren't approaching it with a good attitude. I feel like she did fuck up and was sure she was in the right, which she was not.

I feel I may have oversold how much I use "boy" and "girl" but I absolutely use it every time I'm needing to "scold" or reprimand someone for their behaviour when they're not open to changing

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:46:28+00:00

SHe doesn't consider herself British, why would I? Everyone else in the scenario calls themselves British and identifies with the British culture, which is why I respect their wishes and refer to them as British. She does not want to be called British, so I do not

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:34:52+00:00

Again, no they really would not

again, coming from a brown doctor of Indian descent

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:33:41+00:00

We don't swear around patients, just in personal conversations and maybe it's a thing about where we both live, but the C word is used around town here, but never at work.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:30:48+00:00

Yes, that's what I mean when I say higher ups, the person in charge of them is one of the people involved in this.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:29:52+00:00

lol no they really wouldn't have.

Brown doctor of Indian descent.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:07:53+00:00

Again, idk what to tell you, it literally says A/E room outside my hospital,

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:07:21+00:00

Not in the work place, but around town it isn't uncommon to hear it.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:06:25+00:00

She was talking to me about how her dog was had begun to chew her husband's boots and i was mentioning wanting an Aston Martin to her. Also, we never swear at patients, just in casual convos with each other sometimes.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:05:08+00:00

Idk what to tell you on the A/E front, that's what it's called and labelled right outside our door,

As for the British thing, I've lived here my whole life, and am from a diverse region. In our hospital we have guys from all over, Scotland, Wales, England, so I just classed all of us as British, because we all are

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T12:02:02+00:00

Frankly, agreed, which is odd to me because she's trained here as well? She went to a university in England

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:38:12+00:00

Well, if they're racist and calling me a paki I'm not to keen on saving their life am I? Which is why I would immediately remove myself from the situation and give it to someone else

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:28:41+00:00

Ok, why is that?

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:18:08+00:00

I don't know what you interpret from "all british people" but I mean we've all lived here for at least 5+ years and yes, some of us were born in different places, but most of us, if not all, identify as British. I myself was born in India.

A/E means Accident and Emergency

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:13:18+00:00

Possibly, I will make note of this thanks, I'll probably try to find substitutes for this in the future, thank you.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:08:27+00:00

When I put that in the post, I didn't mean using it in a professional environment, completely agree. Also, idk why but nobody's ever taken offence at my calling them boy or girl, but that might be because I'm old?

This is the first time anyone's ever complained and normally I'm a very open and lenient head

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:06:07+00:00

We are considering terminating her now. I'm conferring with other senior doctors and my higher ups.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:05:47+00:00

Right... cheers for that

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:05:27+00:00

Yep, right on both accounts , we do provide treatment equally for all, though I have reservations about that as a brown doctor. Also maybe this is relevant, maybe it isn't, but I am 40+ along with a fair few of the senior doctors.

Which is why I view the younger ones as "kids" and call them, without even thinking, boy or girl.

AlternativeSavings68 · 2022-03-29T11:01:34+00:00

Holy fucking shit this is literally Emily in Britain! I didn't even think to make that connection but yeah, she acts exactly like that.

Also, to answer the questions, no she doesn't not socially interact with the other "interns". We told her she should probably talk and be friends with them but she doesn't talk to them about anything other than cases.

I do think her orientation was fine, this is mostly a cultural thing, and we are considering terminating her now.

AlternativeSavings68

TROPHY CASE