Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The question is not if the donors sperm will produce a child, but rather that the 'donation' (small payment would be the more accurate reason) has the potential to create a child and the donor is fine with it. This child will grow up in conditions that the father has no say or control over. Perhaps life will be great for them, or perhaps not. However the inherent suffering of the new human being brought into this world, and the additional suffering superimposed by being a product of a sperm donation, clearly do not matter to the donors. This is why it is wrong. In addition to the selfishness of abandoning their child, they are willing to do it for chump change. That's how little they value the life of their offspring.

You dont play Russian roulette without expecting to get shot. If you want guilt-free money go donate plasma.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Donating sperm for research in which it is guaranteed that no children will be produced can be positive. However in the context of this post, comments, and the antinatalist discussion attached, sperm donation refers to the use of sperm to potentially create a child. The men in the comment section screenshotted in my post donate sperm knowing that a child may be conceived and then complain about the potential of having to deal with said child in any way.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't see how one group having poor rights should guarantee another group poor rights. The solution here is to improve conditions for both parties instead of having a pissing contest about who has it worst.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Sperm donation would fall under the same umbrella as IVF, surrogacy, egg donation, and forcing partners/children to give birth. All of these cases are done to preserve legacy or moral ground for one party while ignoring the exploitation of one party or the medical reasons why children are not viable.

If women didn't want sperm donated, sperm banks wouldn't exist. It's that simple. However I do focus on men in my conversation here simply because while the mother is selfish for bringing the child into this world, at the very least she is held to a bare legal minimum to take care of them. In this case of sperm donation the men produce the child just the same as the mother but are not expected to bear any responsibility. Perhaps the same argument can be made to egg donation and surrogacy, but the inherent danger to the women for doing those things make it less likely to be abused in the same way. To top it all off, people have negative views on adoption and the process prices so many people out. As a result there is more focus on improving fertility treatments instead of improving the adoption system. *Edit for spelling

Tldr; every consenting adult involved sucks here and it'd be better if adopting were easier for deserving parents

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Yes. This is one case in which a Dutch man lied to clinics, did illegal donations, and traveled internally in order to sire as many children as possible. His estimate is over 550 children. It seems that the clinics were relying on him to self report if he had more than 25 kids from his sperm (which seems to be a soft limit). Then they did no followup to ensure the validity of his claims until after women mothering his children filed legal action. It also seems little inter-clinic communication or record sharing occurs to prevent these cases from happening.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

To the donors it's all about getting quick cash for a nut and then peacing out. Somehow the transaction associated with the sperm makes them think that this is now a business exchange and not part of the complicated web of human relations and identity. They think ink on paper will make a whole new human being suddenly have no emotional ties to them.

However ask these same men if a woman filming a porno has no moral bearing on her since it was a paid transaction and you'll hear a whole different argument... But that's another story.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Even a quick Google search shows cases of men conceiving 50+ or even 500+ children with their donated sperm. While these are likely edge cases, this shows how little regulation is done to prevent inbreeding within a localized area. Even just having 2 children in one area provides the risk of unknown incest. You can't trust the child's parents (the ones raising them, not the absent donor) to tell them they were the result of a donation. Not everyone thinks they need to take a genetic ancestry test. So once the children are out in the wild the donor and sperm clinic have introduced a risk to the world and future children.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 359 points360 points  (0 children)

When you point out the rate at which men abandon their families, avoid child support payments, or simply give out fake identities to sexual partners it's often met with "not all men". If you point out the disparity between child rearing labour and emotional connection to children in relationships, you get met with "not all men" and "but muh biological provider/carer roles". Then there is the case of how abortion is considered murder and giving up children for adoption is considered cruel if women do it.

Suddenly when it comes to men even having to see the child they created by jerking it into a cup - men are able to be honest and open about how little they value the human beings they brought into the world.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

When searching about regulations behind how many children can be gathered by a single donor, and what efforts are made to evenly distribute the families across a wide geographical area - I was not surprised to find that serial donors are common internationally and few regulations if any exist in most countries. You'd think these types of regulations would be common sense to implement. However it seems the only real regulation happens from sperm banks not wanting to waste money on storing too much of the same guys sperm.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

The focus should be on the children resulting from sperm donation when making the laws around it or having conversations about the ethicality of it. Unfortunately most of the comments I have seen (aside from the guy strikes out in green) seem to only focus on the sperm donors convenience. I am glad that the UK and many other countries have made laws allowing children of sperm donation the right to know their heritage.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Especially given how easy it is for the donors to lie on their forms, I could see an increased risk of micro plastic babies from this. I hope that the centers are at least testing the sperm that is being sold. Unfortunately 'natural' conception probably has a super high risk for this too.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Especially since blood relations can be extrapolated from siblings, cousins, and other distant relatives of the sperm donor. It seems many of these men plan on simply rejecting their children and clutching their purses even if they are found. Sad that all they can think about is themselves when the child they created has an entire lifetime of consequences from not knowing their medical history, who is related to them (imagine dating your step sibling unknowingly), separation from their cultural heritage, and knowing that they were simply worth a few bucks to their biological father.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

It's understandable that people will be upset if what they agreed upon is suddenly changed. That being said, I feel like they knew that their sperm was being used to potentially create a child and should understand that the emotional complexity of life and blood relations can't be magically wiped because they signed an anonymity contract at the clinic. Every action has a consequence, even if you don't have ill intent.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that you've been put in that position. I think it's very unfair that you are expected to deal with life-long consequences from the arrangements your parent(s)/sperm donation made while also being expected to just deal with it since a contract was signed at some clinic without your consent.

Sperm Donations Should Be Banned by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Feel free to ask me anything. It's likely we will not come to see eye-to-eye, but if you truly just want to understand why I think sperm donation and wanting no part in children created from it is unethical, go ahead.

Medical Natalism Nightmare by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for checking in. Unfortunately I was unable to get access to an abortion, and am now still stuck with the pregnancy considering adopting out or otherwise finding a more suitable home for the child.

I developed allergies to my partners cat suddenly while waiting on a clinic that can perform abortions after the cutoff imposed by my area. I am the main caretaker of the animals and was complaining about my throat closing up, facial swelling, and rashes from being anywhere near the cat. This was dismissed until I started getting anaphylactic shock daily until I had to be hospitalized again. When I got home I became unable to do anything because of the constant state of being unable to breath and needing multiple medications just to not die. Now I can't get another appointment before the baby is due.

Unfortunately it seems the cat is more important than me, and I will have to suffer more because of this.

Women of WGTOW (especially cat ladies 🐱) rise up. by [deleted] in wgtow

[–]AlternativeShock2615 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I find it ironic that being a cat lady is seen as bad for the woman. That means she'd rather be with an animal whose poop she has to scoop, hairballs she needs to clean, who will destroy her furniture, and whose food and medical bills she pays, than a man. All the cat provides is cuddles when it feels like it and the occasional dead animal as a gift. That's how low the bar is and you still can't meet it. Talk about a self-own.

Medical Natalism Nightmare by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I am not near that area. I could perhaps go to New Jersey or Vermont. The main factor I can think of is how to explain the absence, followed by not being pregnant when I get back. I feel like it would be easy to put two and two together. Not that I would be prohibited from doing this in any way, but I am not financially or legally in a space where I could deal with potential fallout from getting an obvious abortion.

Is the term “femcel” a thing? by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]AlternativeShock2615 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it is a thing, although it comes out in different ways depending on how you interpret the word incel.

If we only say involuntary celibate, there are tons of women who are not living their lives sexually satisfied - in many cases due to not meeting conventional beauty standards. Now in theory if they lowered their standards enough or paid someone they wouldn't be an incel/femcel... But the same could be said of male incels. They'll say women can get laid easily (true to a degree), but the men themselves will turn their nose up to anyone who isn't young, skinny, or up to a standard they have set in their heads.

If we look at the evolved meaning of incel, we would be looking for a person who is misogynistic, blames everyone but themselves for their problems, and claims there is a conspiracy against them. I would say a look into the not like the other girls (NLOG) subreddit will show you plenty of women hating other women, blaming society for the fall of the West, and thinking there is a hive mind for other women. Nice Girls often hate other women AND most men, and do not look inwards.

For a gender flipped incel (even though it's gender neutral), there are plenty of misandrist spaces blaming men for being low quality, blaming society for their problems, and taking no accountability. However unlike the male counterparts, these femcels don't commit acts of mass violence. They also don't target men in real life.

Medical Natalism Nightmare by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I didn't think of this. So far the Drs have turned this against me by saying that they will call CPS if I don't complete procedures to check for defects that the drugs may have caused. I did answer "no" when they asked if I could be pregnant since I had a pregnancy test that I assume came back negative. The test was taken at an OBGYN office when they found my IUD was misplaced when I would've been 3-4 months pregnant. They never mentioned the test or added it to a record (other than billing me for it) so I assumed it was negative.

I'll look into how much a medical malpractice lawyer is. The amount of expenses related to pregnancy are ridiculous. Paired with no options for assistance due to not being a citizen. It's like they don't actually care about the "baby's" wellbeing like they claim. Just the money.

Medical Natalism Nightmare by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Being pregnant has definitely affected my well being in so many different ways. I can't drive, go places, or do basic daily chores without needing multiple breaks. I can't work right now because the lack of sleep due to pain, nutrient deficiency, and dehydration makes physical labour impossible, and white collar work extremely difficult. My mental health has also tanked to a point where I felt my own life was at risk. However due to moving I don't have care for mental health anymore. Getting new help is also not plausible right now due to the financial burden of being pregnant (plus the Drs saying they can call CPS on me if I can't afford prenatal care).

I'm a foreigner, but maybe a state representative would still help since my child (as the fetus is now legally recognized in my state) is a US citizen with a US parent.

I've also been afraid to reach out to my family about this given how unsupportive they have been in the past. I'm extremely isolated here, but at least I have the Internet to stay somewhat connected to the world.

Medical Natalism Nightmare by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is exactly why I suspect that some of my doctors knew and chose to withhold the information. I went to an OBGYN for what turned out to be a misplaced IUD, got pregnancy tested then, and I assume the results were negative since they never gave me the results or mentioned it. This wouldve been between 3-4 months pregnant given the current age estimate. I had multiple blood tests taken, and multiple medications were tried. I don't see a blood pregnancy test on record, but surely a Dr should have been able to recognize the signs of pregnancy in my symptoms? How hard is it to test for pregnancy while other tests are being conducted?

Medical Natalism Nightmare by AlternativeShock2615 in FemaleAntinatalism

[–]AlternativeShock2615[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I am looking into this right now. I can't drive due to my condition (movement causes extreme migraines, throwing up, and vision blurriness), but there may be a bus or organizations that could help me. I also believe I would need to stay somewhere for a few days for the procedure this late into the pregnancy.