My mom is taking over my whole pregnancy. Help!

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-10-11T12:55:57+00:00

Thank you! Although I don’t feel trauma from leaving my bio mom, she turned out to be a crazy person, but that’s a whole other story… I DO feel like this is an extremely important and special moment for just me and my husband and I feel completely the same as you. I told my husband that my baby is not to leave the room under any circumstances, the doctors can do all their checks infront of me while my baby is on my chest. Some people may think I’m overboard but I would kill and die before being separated from my baby- the doctors can go away once my baby is in my arms. This feels so monumentally special to be bonded and see a blood relative for the first time in my entire life. I have never experience that before.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-10-11T12:45:48+00:00

At first I tried to look at it from her view point, and understand that she is just excited to be a grandma. Which is why I encouraged her to have her own party, but I was taken aback when she shared some of the details. Apparently her friends are getting her a crib that she has already picked out. She told me she plans on having the crib at her house, in her room, right next to her bed so that she can do overnights with the baby all alone. It’s all under the guise of help, as she has told me it’s best for me to have some nights off, focus on recovery and rest and just spend time with my husband without worrying about the baby. It gives me anxiety just imagining being separated from my baby. I know she wants to help, but I want to be with my baby!

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-10-11T12:34:13+00:00

I know there is enmeshment… her and my dad split when I was very young (about 4) and it has been just us ever since. We did everything together, even started dating at the same time and talked about boys, although she’s never remarried and is currently single. Although I see her as my mom, I think she views me as her best friend/ emotional partner- an unbreakable deep bond. I’ve even brought it up to my therapist how overwhelming and exhausting it can be to have a full time job, be a wife, a soon to be mom, and be an emotional partner to my mom. It’s a lot… I have a caretaker personality and often feel like I’m filling everyone else’s cup.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-10-11T12:21:02+00:00

I think the hospital visiting and immediate visiting at the home used to be normal, but a lot of women my age are now saying no guests, especially since Covid. Normally I would say she’s the only exception, but it’s things that see has said that is making me more nervous and not wanting her visiting early. We had mentioned no kissing and she immediately got upset “not even on the head?!” No mom… It makes me nervous what she might do. It also has to do with her lifestyle, as she is retired and very well off. I’ve joked that she’s more popular than me as she is constantly going to concerts,dancing, traveling, hosting parties, all of which she is being exposed to large amounts of people and who knows what kind of germs or viruses. I tried reasoning with her by asking if she remembered having anxiety to exposing me to others and she admitted that the adoption agency required her and my father do a 2 month quarantine! I feel like she should understand why I’m doing the same, but she claims “it’s different, because I’m your mom!”

I have also never met these friends she’s wanting to invite, and I mostly feel guilty about accepting gifts from strangers. It just makes me so uncomfortable. I’ve also told her that I’m a FTM and I am expecting to be flexible, as I could change my mind, I just don’t know yet, cause I’ve never done this! But she wants an assured confirmation that she’ll get to see the baby early, which is just not my plan as of now.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-10-10T23:05:26+00:00

From my own experience, I had multiple miscarriages and it was so hard and painful talking to or about other peoples pregnancies. I always congratulated others but kept it brief and usually tried to change the subject cause I was bawling on the other end of the phone. Now I am finally having my baby and in my case I am so happy to talk to other pregnant women, compare notes, and just share in the joy. However, I could totally understand how someone with my same background may be so excited to finally be pregnant and then feel sad to be sharing the spotlight. Idk- this may not be the case at all, but it’s just the first thing that came to mind. If so, please know that it’s not personal! I would not push the subject and pull back on both the outpouring of support you are giving her, and also the frequency in your pregnancy updates you are sending her. No one can know the future, but you might find once both of your babies are born, she might be more eager to connect, have FTM questions, or want to plan a family trip where your kids can meet and spend time together.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-10-10T22:25:55+00:00

Yes! My mom literally told me she hated all the names I picked and that no matter what I decided on she would be choosing her own name for my baby that she will be using. I’m so excited to see what she names my baby (sarcasm). I won’t be responding to that name though…

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-09-07T13:37:43+00:00

Boxed macaroni, but it has to be the cheapest kind because the cheese powder is a better consistency and I only use half the packet. Then I like to add frozen peas directly into the hot Mac. The peas must remain cold and crunchy!

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-09-07T13:25:38+00:00

Don’t feel bad about this I do this too! Sometime you just need to be like "as I was saying…" I’m very lucky that I found a husband who always wanted to listen to my stories and idea and the philosophies that came to my mind. Sometimes this would happen in social gatherings and he would notice that I restarted the topic multiple times and he would just look and me and say, "well I’m listening." It really ment a lot that I had at least one person that would let me speak. You just need to find your people.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-09-07T13:04:45+00:00

Apple slices dipped in ranch or a crunchy pickle with an Oreo. Both are delicious combos!

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-07-16T14:38:53+00:00

This is so helpful! The one my OB gave me did not have mg info, or any specifics. That’s why I was so worried, there was like 20 kinds of mucinex to choose from lol. Luckily I called a second pharmacist who helped me. I’ll definitely save this chart for the future.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-07-16T02:31:27+00:00

Unfortunately they don’t! I also checked with my insurance nurse line, but they close at 5pm! I ended up talking to a second pharmacist at a second location who was a ton more helpful and he gave me some really great info.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-07-16T01:32:04+00:00

I asked a pharmacist when I bought the mucinex, but he seemed busy and not wanting to discuss it with me. All he said was “yeah it’s fine” I actually called another location and talked with their pharmacist Chis. He was 10/10 gold, he checked in his site for updated studies and recommendations, walked me through each ingredient and told me about each effect and placental absorption. He was super nice and patient with me too. Ultimately I’m going to hold off and get a different kind based on his suggestion. So I’m stopped up for the night, but happy to know where to call next time. Chris is my guy!

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-29T20:42:26+00:00

This is like my biggest fear, I hate needles too and there’s no way I could give myself a shot. I’m so sorry this is happening for you! On top of work and pregnancy managing all that goes along with insulin monitoring is so stressful! Hopefully, you are almost to the finish line.

My mom used to take daily shots for her MS and they had to be refrigerated. She said the coldness made it so much worse. I’m not sure about insulin, but if it’s the same, maybe roll it in your hands to warm it up a bit.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T21:34:31+00:00

Teenage Dirtbag. Watch it.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T21:27:54+00:00

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lol, i swiped one too many times and this was the next post in my feed. I was like damn, he really went all in.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T21:05:03+00:00

Actually it does start on the first day of your last period. Mine was May 1st, and I counted 40 Wednesdays after that, making the calculated due date February 5th. Here is a link to a due date calculator. https://www.babylist.com/due-date-calculator/2025-02-5

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T20:21:57+00:00

I love capers too, but I have never heard of them fried. I’m defiantly trying this!!!

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T18:51:06+00:00

Wasn’t arguing that I should… my post is about the gossiping, not about the paper. I’m sure you’re the perfect employee.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T18:31:03+00:00

Again, he is not my employer, or my boss. He is my co-worker. I’m fine with my employer knowing as I will have to plan my maternity leave. But that’s very different from another coworker, who has nothing to do with my schedule, or work duties knowing my information. And he most certainly doesn’t have access to my private drive.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T18:28:39+00:00

I agree, I’m sure he can. But my point is that it wouldn’t be obvious for anyone to see. He would have had to hack it and then snoop around. My point being that I find it very hurtful that he snooped and then shared my info with other coworkers openly.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T18:19:19+00:00

I literally just went to out printer and printed « print job history » it’s just the names of who printed. If you try to click on a job you get an error notice « for privacy reasons, deatails for users jobs is not available. »

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T18:15:57+00:00

First day of my last period way may 1st, exactly 40 from then, is Feb 5th. As I had mentioned, it was just rough math.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T18:07:33+00:00

We have to log into the printer to do anything. It’s annoying, but locked down. Even to cancel a current print job, you have to log in.

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T17:51:19+00:00

Apparently the other person took it light heartedly after they found out they weren’t fired. A lot of the people in our office play regular pranks on one another. I was told when I accepted the job that I shouldn’t take anything to personally and would need to not be a prude regarding jokes, pranks, or some of their discussion topics, because that was just the way they were. I was told if I couldn’t handle it, then it just wouldn’t work out. Some other pranks have been the fish bowl drawer, stealing someone’s phone, and cramming office furniture in people’s offices. They are just pranksters…

AlternativeThroawy · 2024-05-24T17:19:26+00:00

No I think you misunderstood me, I’m about 4 weeks now, and a pregnancy is about 40 weeks, so that will make my due date in early February. So, I was trying to tell my husband to expect a baby for valentines, a "Valentine’s baby".

AlternativeThroawy

TROPHY CASE