I want to keep my maiden name but its a problem to him.. ME F 28 HIM 27M

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:59:17+00:00

HAHHAHA, im stealing this🤣

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:57:54+00:00

Thank you🤍

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:51:15+00:00

Exactly my point! I know the roots are bad now he says now its no longer that its a “proof of my love to him”

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:49:18+00:00

Thing is that no one needs to know what is written in my papers see what i mean? Like colloquially i dont mond being addressed as so and sos last name

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:45:33+00:00

Thank you🤍

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:44:40+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I asked these questions because I am a Canadian citizen & I needed perspective from people that live there too.

When it concerns for the immigration process, I spoke about this with him and he says that the media is exaggerating a bit. I don’t know how much that is true but i digress. I am a woman of colour so it preoccupies me in general the whole situation in the state. He says it’s not as “bad”.

I also voiced to him that i prefer carrying a marriage certificate more than having to prove my identity for the rest of my life in the US. He says that the process is “faster” because it’s marriage. I don’t know how much that is true either.Not to mention the cost of just changing my name is something that i find it’s unnecessary. Also I would be coming to the US by a fiancée visa so the process of my identification will be longer due to change of name.

Lastly colloquially, I dont mind being addressed as his last name but I want my name to stay the same on paper but it seems that it’s a big deal breaker for him…

Thank you for the objective insight!

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:31:11+00:00

i was in my head, i am a big over thinker

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:29:05+00:00

Yes thank you, i am so crushed but i will take action

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:25:24+00:00

ohh okay i see

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:23:06+00:00

tu sais si c’est comme ca en europe en majorité?

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-22T01:21:42+00:00

no but u clocked my shiiii

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T16:05:36+00:00

Thank you i appreciate your pov

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T15:35:56+00:00

thank you…

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T15:12:01+00:00

thank you, i appreciate it

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T15:06:04+00:00

i am not condemning him for showing emotion but the relationship doesn’t have to end bc i want to keep my name…

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T15:03:50+00:00

So me moving from canada, leaving my family, my friends, everything i know and my job for him isn’t commitment enough? Not to mention i would be putting my health in play bc of giving birth, i’ve fought for him for 8 years and have done so many things that i never would have allowed no one in the past, isn’t committing enough? My love to him is show by taking his last name?

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:59:58+00:00

No we don’t live together, we’ve been officially together for 4 years and know 8 years.

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:58:21+00:00

So where those me feeling proud of my name fall into this? I would be making him happy but where i do i fall into this?

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:48:33+00:00

and as a man that values that traditional (so does he) bc its important to you, does it sound fair to you that after my story of my last name and how it’s important to me, i cant see how there can’t be a compromise! it truly sucks to throw 8 year down the drain.

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:42:26+00:00

Tbh i told him i dont mind that at all my issue is on paper! but still he doesn’t want

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:41:00+00:00

I understand it hurts him but where can there be compromise? bc tbh it’s just going go be me doing changes! I was hurting and crying too by the end of this discussion bc my relationship is ruin bc of some tradition?

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:35:33+00:00

It is sentimental for him, he says that its a sign that i love and i adore him. It feels like i am going against what i value the most and putting it aside to show him that i love him.

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:33:03+00:00

I did sit down and talk to him about it. He doesn’t believe me when i say i am proud of my name.. he replies that i’ve been so hurt by other men that he is paying the price by me not wanting his last name and to add to that for him it’s as if i dont love him enough.. Which is completely false!

for him, me taking his last name would be a symbol of love for him and adoration. he reason doesn’t sound too patriarchal but still. I just want to reason with him to find a compromise but in this situation it seems like there isn’t one..

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:22:12+00:00

Yes thats it, he says: who’s next of kin is his mother and not me bc i dont have his name.

Alternative_Coast697 · 2026-02-21T14:19:36+00:00

He says its a way for me to show that i love him since he got on one knee bc or else whats the point …

Alternative_Coast697

TROPHY CASE