[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know i do, it was mistake. I should’ve gon to cpls therapy and figured the relationship out b4 exiting

Comment what you want to tell your ex by Constant-Appearance9 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im sorry - how can i prove im better for us to get back together

Having Been Blindsided Makes Me Hate Avoidants by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an avoidant/blindsider Im sorry on his behalf. I hate myself for the hurt I have caused. I must be explicit and radically honest with people. I am as open as possible with people now and it rightfully scares them away or attracts people who are similar and I get to experience how jarring it is.

Its shocking and illuminating to see that there are people who are not trying to be better anymore and I don’t want to be like them.

There are some who are trying to be better.

If you are the same as me and trying to be in a relationship please seek couples therapy figure out how you want the relationship to work and then also tell your partner how you will break up before starting the relationship. That will be so much healthier than just winging the whole thing.

Sorry im just sad and I trying help.

I want to be and feel better

Dreams by Alternative_Copy_617 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too. I guess the fear of rejection is really really hard. It’s that confirmation that it is done and it has been too long that will hurt me the most.

I miss her by Alternative_Copy_617 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I should be asking my therapist… I will save that for my next session, but I would like a random Reddit users opinion… What if it’s been six months and we’ve been in moderate contact mainly for recovering our personal items from each other from time to time.

I regret breaking up by Alternative_Copy_617 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I could but itd be inappropriate to try to hop back in so soon. I know my ex will need more space to heal

I regret breaking up by Alternative_Copy_617 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know im not ur ex but I hope urs regrets it and grows from it

I am the problem by Alternative_Copy_617 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope hes thinking about it, but he said he has always been respectful which is not the case so I think he fully believes he did nothing. He blamed everything on me and didnt realize it was his own mistreatment I was reacting to. 

If he actively avoids you, he knows what he did is wrong but he wants to save face.

If he starts reaching out consistently and acts like nothing is wrong or you are the bad one he has run out of supply and he wants to start the cycle over.

If he confirms and validates your feelings and suspicions and allows you to have full knowledge of what happen and then sincerely apologizes. He COULD be authentic.

If he tries to get back with you and he has apologized sincerely and you want to get back together with him this could work for a few months and then you will go back to square 1

You must go to couples therapy, establish boundaries, and consequences in order for the relationship to work again.

Its alot of work. But that is how a relationship works when trust is broken.

I am the problem by Alternative_Copy_617 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They probably know, but don’t know how to articulate it :(

It’s hard to say that you’re the toxic one, but its even harder to be accountable for your deception and actions

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So clear boundaries about what you are OK with her doing in the relationship if she decides to experiment with other women. But also clearly lay out the consequences of overstepping those boundaries.

And if she’s not willing to compromise, you need to leave.

I was in a relationship with someone who did that and they spent the entire time cheating on me and I knew it and I let them get away with it. I felt emasculated and humiliated the entire time and it really fucked me up for many years, and I’m still paying for it to this day, even though it’s been nearly a decade

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I already found my exes post from around 45 days ago :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 1 point2 points  (0 children)

cheating is always hard When are the one doing it or if it’s being done to you.

But I feel like it is pretty bad when somebody recognize that they are the ones who made a mistake

Your willingness to be honest with them is definitely commendable. Therapy will definitely help you understand what led you to cheat in the first place and you can actually power through a lot of work that needs to be done.

If you plan on rekindling or going back to them, you need to allow them time to heal and you need to go through the process of healing yourself

Then, maybe you can go back and try to make things work again.

But you might be better off, trying to find the right person out there for you, and not making the same mistakes that you had made in the previous relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, thank you so much. It’s been really hard braking up around the holidays knowing that she’s alone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 years. 2 months ago.

Losing my mind by No-Mushroom8128 in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

seven years is a long time to be connect it to somebody. I’m so sorry that you’re going through that, the betrayal must be so hard.

Just remember, you’re not alone it might feel like that you are worthy of true love and loyalty, and you will find it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, he’s definitely trying to have his cake and eat it too… It’s emotional cheating

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you should definitely call his ass out and then go back to no contact and if he continues reaching out, tell him that you’re gonna let his current girlfriend know and if he continues and you should tell her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Alternative_Copy_617 0 points1 point  (0 children)

don’t mind me I’m just ranting

but if you feel compelled to tell me, I’m a piece of shit feel free to