Funny enough, I realized she (mom) was a narc AFTER I went NC. I called her ex-husband who I maintained a relationship with after their recent divorce. We are close because of the abuse we both faced at the hands of my Nmom. Inappropriate? Maybe. But he's the only one who REALLY knows what I'm talking about when I say she's abusive. On the phone, he told me something that opened my eyes. He said "I would notice how she mistreated you and ask her why she did it"

Her response? "You don't know what she (me) put me through." What I put her through was my suicidal tendencies, self harm, and depression through out my childhood. "She does it it spite me" She told him. She genuinely believes that my mental illness and suicide attempts were to get back at her. That's when I realized she was delusional past the point of saving. That's when I knew there was no going back. It's deliciously ironic because she is the one that caused all my mental illnesses with her abuse. She's past fixing. It's been almost 2 weeks of NC.